Crazy Negative Parents!!Help!! Off season suggest

1. Don't ever give out phone #.

2. You will always have those parents. They aren't going anywhere. Have a pre-season mandatory meeting with all parents and lay down the plan for the program. If they have problems with it, that's their problem now.

3. Don't let complaining parents be a problem. If they are upset that they're kid isn't playing, you can always invite them to practice and see why. Or, you can also walk up to them and ask "hey, the other team is running a slanting 50 defense and is blowing up our trap series. You seem like you know what you're doing. Can you go fix it please?"

4. If they are getting to the point where it's really effecting the players and program on game-nights, or actually ruining the game for everyone else (the other fans/parents) it's time to see the AD or Supes about removing those parents. If they are on the parents side however, it may be time to get out of dodge.

Thanks Guys,

I have tried to speak to the mother about being positive and supportive.She agrees,than its back to another game and here we go again.I plan on having a parent meeting before next season .Do you have this before the mandatory season begins.Early summer? I also like the code of conduct by the PA Announcer. I really am to the point of stopping the game and asking them to be removed

We have a "Fanhood 101" seminar that we do for our students during our year's first pep-rally. You can also do something similar with parents during a pre-season parent meeting.

We also have a "Code of Conduct" sign that we post and preach, and also make the idea of "RESPECT" a big part of everything we do. One thing that might be a good idea for a parent meeting, would be to get some footage of obnoxious parents (get it off YouTube, not from your own sidelines)... show some clips of parents acting foolishly or saying dumb things, and talk about how un-classy it is. Ask them to think about how poorly that the behavior reflects upon the school, the team, the person themselves, and also their child/children playing in the game. Get parents thinking about whether or not they want to act like that... in other words, make them think about not wanting to be THAT person. "Don't be that guy."

It might be a humorous way of getting your point across.

Where is the heck is the school admin???

"Mr Official I have some fans here who are becoming a disruption to the game. They are threatening my staff and players we need to have them removed by security."

At our yearly officials meeting they have told us basically if your situation occurs, let them know and they will have the fans removed before continuing the game. Never seen it done but they claim they will.

Have them warned by the administration, then if nothing changes have them arrested for disturbing the peace.

If nothing changes inform the super that you will be bringing a civil suit to the district due to their inability to create and support a safe and non-threatening work environment. If they can't deal, you are gone, which you don't want to be part of that type of place anyway.

I am not sure why that is so hard for people to figure out.

At a lot of the inner city schools we play, the home sideline is away from the stands. I know some fields have stands on both side or all the way around, but I like the idea of being away from all the people, fans, parents.

I can't agree with this. I think that the kids need to be able to get in touch with you in case of some problem or emergency. I've been in the phone book and have never really had a problem.

We have a district wide policy that a fan can be removed from the game and even barred from attending future games for "obnoxious" behavior. We have had parents removed at a couple of the schools I have worked for. Remove them at the next game. Then require a conference before they are allowed at another school athletic event.

Wow. I think there are a lot of good suggestions here. Football is a co-currucular activity and as such is a part of the educational misson of your institution. Nowhere in public education is this sort of behavior acceptable, nor does it support the mission of the institution.

First, the coaches suggesting a preseason meeting outlining your expectations are right on the money. While we believe that people should understand the "norms" of society and in particular the middle class, you'd be surprised. I talk to my parents about what Bob Hurley calls the "Grocery Store Rule." The basic premise is that you don't get to talk to me, an official, a player, or another coach in a manner you wouldn't do at a grocery store.

Second, as per my first point about this being a part of the educational mission of the high school, if the administration won't support you and protect the kids, it's time for a come to Jesus meeting with them. As the saying goes, "All things end badly otherwise they wouldn't end." By that I mean I would rather depart coaching/conducting the program that I want, than allowing things to persist that I disagree with in order to keep the peace or my coaching job. The police are often times good about providing an influencing presence if they're aware of the problem.

Finally, a very good teacher once told me that when he knows he's done his best and someone has something negative to say to him he replies, "I'm sorry you feel that way, have a nice day." While it's tough to find your moment of zen in a situation like that, the saying about wrestling pigs seems pretty appropriate. These people are miserable and want you to be in the same boat.

A little aside from our own season. A few weeks ago, some parents got in the face of a coach who had benched their son. It was a pretty upsetting thing for myself although I didn't really have much to do with it other than breaking it up and dealing with it on Monday. Not 30 minutes later we were going to a restaurant to eat after the game and a former athlete was working there and told me, "I was just thinking about you the other day. Remember when you used to tell us it didn't matter what kind of athlete you are, or how much money you make but what kind of brother, son, father, friend, teammate you are? Well I was thinking about that." I went from the worst it seems it can get for a coach to the best in about 15 minutes. While cowards in the stands can ruin your day, keep in mind what you're really doing and it might help you keep things in perspective.

Amen!!

It really doesn't matter how you approach this in the off-season. You can send out all kinds of fliers and contract to parents, hold meetings, etc.. These kinds of parents will still be a PITA and they need to be removed from the stands of games.

I love the camera idea. I may use a voice recorder on the sidelines so parents can hear how disruptive this can be. I have had a similar problem in my first year. Foul language not used but talking about coaches, it got so bad the last few games my wife had to sit on the visitor side because she could not contain herself and would say something. I told her not to engage in that behavior and she said she could not so she just sat on the visitors side.

You better have some good voice editing equipment, coach. I imagine there's a lot of 'colorful verbiage' in those meetings.

I hear that...

I had a meeting with a dad last night who is 'concerned' that his boy is ineligible for basketball... The kid has literally turned in 30% of his assignments this quarter. He actually has a D+ in the class because he does well on tests and quizzes. I know, I know, the gurus are going to tell me 'he's just bored' and needs to be 'inspired and driven'. He's on my enrichment track; with all the differentiation and bells and whistles that come with it. The kid is just flat out lazy.

His dad informs me that his boy is struggling because "I don't teach" and that "his boy is confused and can't do the work". I pulled out his last test and showed him the final story problem which was a real bitchkitty... I asked him to read it and tell me what he thought about the problem. He told me that it "looked too hard". So I whipped out his boys test; he had gotten it right and was the only one in the class that had done so.

His dad looks at him and asks him "what the f-ck is going on with you boy? Are you a f-cking lazy ass?"