Time Commitment to Wives/Girlfriends in Season

As I tell my wife..."You knew what you were getting into..."

Thurs night is family night all the work is done at that point. Sunday after church is family lunch then staff meetings.

1. If you can fulfill your film-breakdown responsibilities at home, then do it at home.

2. Have a "date-night" once per week. Whatever your day-off or early-night is, make that date night. Better yet, make it HER night... let her pick the dinner, activity, movie, etc.

3. Don't waste time at the office. Sometimes "staff meetings" digress into storytelling and reminiscing sessions... Keep in mind: We all have business at hand, and families at home. Do your job well, but be efficient with it and take care of your family life as well.

4. Make Valentine's Day a big occasion. Really. No seriously. Valentine's Day is the one day where football coaches reward their wives for putting up with us all through the football season. If you don't believe me, then why is it usually the week right after the Super Bowl?

5. Call your wife at lunch-time everyday...or if you can, try to have lunch with her. At the very least, pick a specific time to call or at least text her...to say that you love her, etc. Make it a daily routine at a specific time. She'll look forward to it, and it will help keep you grounded as well.

6. If you and your wife work at the same school, or in the same vacinity: carpool to and from work if at all possible. This will give you extra "quality time" for conversations each day.

7. Make your marriage and your family a priority. Being a coach is a lifestyle, and it is one of the most important jobs you will ever have. But, being a Good Husband and a Good Father are THE most important jobs you have. Always keep your priorities right in life, and you will be alright in life. Remember also, that you are teaching your students and players how to be husbands. Everything you do and say in your own marriages, you are in some way teaching them for their future marriages. The same is true of fatherhood.

8. Invite your wife to Team Dinners and all games. Some staffs are real "families" and often have coaches' wives and children around dinners, events, games, and practices.

9. Make use of some great resources out there. The All Pro Dad organization and website are great resources, which offer tons of great tips and advice for being a better husband and a better father. Visit www.AllProDad.com to learn more.

9-A. Also, read up on some good books. Texas high school coach, Randy Allen, has a great book with a lot of practical on-field and off-field tips. The book is called: "Coaching By the Book." It is available at www.coachrandyallen.com/hmpgCoachingbythebook.html
Also, the book "Playbook for Manhood" has a lot of great life-advice on being a good man, a good husband, and a good father. It is available on Amazon at www.amazon.com/Playbook-Manhood-Being-Condensed-Version/dp/1452837775/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1317185470&sr=8-1&tag=pbv-20.

10. Have your wife reference some good websites as well. The American Football Coaches Wives Association is a great website, that has some really good articles for wives on what to expect from their husbands' involvement with coaching. Visit www.AFCwa.org to learn more.

11. Always show respect for your wife's efforts and her profession. Be appreciative of what she does for your marriage, for your family, and for her own career as well. Sometimes as coaches, we tend to think that we "grind" more than other people and their lives/jobs... not always true. Your wife works hard, too... just in a different capacity. Don't make it seem like you work harder or more than she does. That will sow the seeds of resentment.

12. Keep your wife happy. I always tell my student-athletes: "Keep your position coach happy." "When your position coach is happy, then you're happy. If your position coach isn't happy... then he'll make your life miserable at practice." The same is true with your spouse.
Remember these words: "Happy wife: happy life." "Happy spouse: happy house."

13. Love your wife. Tell her you love her. Make sure she knows you love here. Make her a priority in your life. It's just like with football... you can talk about how important 3rd Downs are... but the real priority that you place on it can be found in how much time you devote to situational work in your practice schedule. Don't just pay mere lip service to your marriage. Make it a priority.

Some of the most important lessons that we teach as football coaches are the values of Commitment, Sacrifice, and Devotion. Therefore, be committed to your wife and to your marriage. Make the sacrifices necessary to preserve your marriage: keep it a priority in your life. Be devoted to your wife and be faithful. "Semper Fi" - "Always Faithful." If that saying is good enough for the Marine Corps, then it's good enough for any and every one of us. Be faithful to your wife. Always. Period. No exceptions, and no excuses.

that was good

Coachfd...making us all look like deadbeat husbands

Well said. Thank you.

During the season, you just have to set time aside where it is only you and her. Our schedule is go out every Thursday night, Sunday after Church and then Sunday night after my staff meeting we do a movie night at the house.

Probably one of the keys is during this time, it's about family (turn the cell phone to silent or turn it off...this is probably the toughest for me). It's important that even you guys don't spend a lot of time together, the time that you do spend together needs to be about you guys 150%.

Some many times coaches tell kids it's about Faith, Family, School, and then Football...Coaches need to sometimes remember that order also.

Guys, all your advice has been huge. Keep it coming.

Thanks,
Curtis

I took a football coaching class taught by my head coach in college.

One of the first things he talked about was finding a wife who could handle being married to a football coach.

He stressed it over and over througout the class about it. It did not seem like such a big deal back then but it is a huge deal once you start courting and get married.

There is no too ways around it, you are going to be away form wifey and the family for three months. You need a supportive wife and she needs to know up front what it takes on her part.

My wife has been very supportive over the years but I am also an avid hunter, and deer hunting season starts right after or during football season.

She really needs to work on her understanding skills about hunting too.

Of course I am kidding she is a saint.

The first weekend of Deer hunting her and the other football/deerhunting widows rent a limo and go to a comedy club.

Saturday night was for wives, but Friday night at the Copa was always for the girlfriends.

Have a girlfriend who coaches also. Goodness talk about some either really great nights (if we both win) or epic fails (when we both lose). It was hard last season when the team I was coaching had success while her softball team struggled. This year its been more balenced.
We had the problem of her playing on tue/thur and some saturdays, with our jv games on Monday and varsity on Friday. We literally went weeks without seeing each other ( "dinner Wed? Nope, jv tournament. Saturday night? Won't ne home late because of a tournament). In a way, it was good because we both understood, but it kinda sucked in a lot of ways, because selfishly, I missed having that support st games and at home, I'm sure she did too