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Post by coachbdud on Sept 30, 2011 10:19:53 GMT -6
ok first off this is all very serious, I am in no way trying to brag about my looks.
I am a full time sub at my HS i coach, no full time PE jobs were open so I sub here every day of the school year. I am on campus every day, every one knows who I am.
I am "the hot sub"
Female, and gay male students say some less than appropriate things, anyway it hasnt been too bad so far... I get add requests on Facebook but I am smart, I know how much trouble that would be... I deny all requests, my Facebook and twitter are private so no one can see it unless i want them to.
I would never do anything inappropriate with a student, and I never allow any physical contact between myself and another student (i have had to juke my way out of attempted hugs)
The other day I searched "coach dudley" on twitter and found a bunch of my HS's students saying horrible things about me... about me being hot, and basically some were saying how much they wanted to hook up with me, I was shocked. Theres nothing I can do to stop them, kids on my team tell me girls tweet and facebook about me everyday...They arent writing anything to me, they are just posting it on their wall and tweeting about me.
What do I do?
Some people have said leave it alone, dont bring it up, act like I dont know, some have told me to go to administration and inform them before someone else tells them.
What should I do?
I love where I work, i love teaching, i love coaching...
I do not want anyone getting the wrong idea about me, I cant help the mind of 14-18 year old girls
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Post by coachwoodall on Sept 30, 2011 10:37:08 GMT -6
Some say that it is better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission, but on this one I would go to a respected and trusted staff/administration member and say straight up: This is what I have heard and found about me, by some students here and I want you to know up front that I am not the instigator of these comments.
Nothing will probably ever be done to the students, but you don't want some little hotty to get the wrong idea, or have some po'ed parent bring it to the attention of the admin.
It might even be brought to their attention as a prank or joke, but I don't consider my career to be a joke.
Nip it in the bud, this could be a career ender.
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Post by mitch on Sept 30, 2011 10:46:56 GMT -6
Definetly go to the admin and fill them in on what is going on. DON'T expect this to be something that won't ever come and and will just go away.
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Post by coachd5085 on Sept 30, 2011 10:48:31 GMT -6
I agree with coach woodall here. I would go to admin and ask THEM for advice as to how you can handle this situation. I would now also make sure I COMPLETELY act indifferent towards all the kids. Can't be the "cool" teacher. You have to watch it, can't exude any charm or swagger or anything.
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Post by coachmoore42 on Oct 1, 2011 12:10:03 GMT -6
I agree with coach woodall here. I would go to admin and ask THEM for advice as to how you can handle this situation. Do this for sure. Also, I wouldn't say that I randomly/curiously looked up myself though. I would say that someone brought it up and I decided I should look into it. |
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Post by utchuckd on Oct 1, 2011 12:29:10 GMT -6
I agree with everybody else. Could only be a matter of time until it turns from 'I would...' to 'I did...' then it's a whole new ballgame. Even if it is a lie.
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Post by shamespiral on Oct 1, 2011 12:30:10 GMT -6
Speaking as HC...
1) talk to him. He knows the pulse of the admin.
2) indifference is key. Especially with the females.
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Post by buck42 on Oct 1, 2011 18:55:26 GMT -6
Go talk to your HC and suggest speaking with the ADMIN. Honestly, as a full time sub you are in a bind because frankly they could release you very easily and probably not think twice about it IF you are rumored to be involved...
Kids lie to get attention and they want to make a scene...make the ADMIN aware ASAP and DOCUMENT IT! Heck, I would probably follow up with an email thanking the ADMIN for speaking with you about the issue so that you have something to fall back on...
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Post by Defcord on Oct 1, 2011 19:43:29 GMT -6
Times like this make you wish you were fat and ugly...very very awkward situation!!!
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Post by hamerhead on Oct 1, 2011 19:56:31 GMT -6
Times like this make you wish you were fat and ugly...very very awkward situation!!! This! +1 |
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Post by coachbdud on Oct 2, 2011 0:32:52 GMT -6
i talked to a VP the other day, one i have a good relationship with.
I said the kids told me about people saying stuff. He was totally cool, i am glad I went and talked to him.
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Post by airraider on Oct 2, 2011 19:42:23 GMT -6
I dont know about yall, but I think that guy coachbdud is HAWT!!!!
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Post by mariner42 on Oct 2, 2011 20:25:09 GMT -6
i talked to a VP the other day, one i have a good relationship with. I said the kids told me about people saying stuff. He was totally cool, i am glad I went and talked to him. I went through pretty much the exact same situation. You handled it properly. Side note: grow a lumberjack beard. Should remove any further such issues. |
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Post by pvogel on Oct 2, 2011 22:13:19 GMT -6
sounds like you handled it good. and I hate to laugh at your expense but this had me crackin up- Female, and gay male students say some less than appropriate things havent had that one yet haha |
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Post by coachcb on Oct 3, 2011 7:27:56 GMT -6
Yeah, you don't want a "Don't Stand So Close To Me" (Sting and the Police) student... I had a female track athlete last year that was doing these kinds of things and it was a PITA. I brought it to the administration and left it at that. There's not much you can do but keep everything completely profession and completely avoid the any potential situations.
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Post by coachbdud on Oct 3, 2011 10:08:25 GMT -6
I dont know about yall, but I think that guy coachbdud is HAWT!!!! A student asked me out on a date Friday... effective June 11, 2012... graduation day... I politely declined and told her it was inappropriate |
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Post by coachcb on Oct 3, 2011 10:12:31 GMT -6
I dont know about yall, but I think that guy coachbdud is HAWT!!!! A student asked me out on a date Friday... effective June 11, 2012... graduation day... I politely declined and told her it was inappropriate Put that in writing and give it the the administration. Record all of this stuff from now on, coach. This could get really bad, really quick. |
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Post by airraider on Oct 3, 2011 19:04:41 GMT -6
No offense to you... because other than your small little picture to the left, Ive never seen you.... but sounds like the girls at that school are HARD UP!! if all they have to do is chase around grown men... Could be a big time recruiting tool.
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Post by k on Oct 3, 2011 22:45:26 GMT -6
Reality is that this is a pretty common thing. If you're a young teacher you're going to get this even if you're not in the shape you were in high school...
You can't control talk. What you can control is the situations you put yourself in. They are going to talk. Hell we talked in high school about the young female teachers... Only technology has changed not people.
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Post by coachd5085 on Oct 3, 2011 23:10:19 GMT -6
air--I am not sure what scenarios you have been around, but as K says, the talk and such is a VERY common occurrence. The actual asking out on a date might not be as common, but keep in mind Bdud, that as a sub you probably are not viewed the same way as a regular classroom teacher by the students.
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Post by airraider on Oct 4, 2011 7:05:07 GMT -6
air--I am not sure what scenarios you have been around, but as K says, the talk and such is a VERY common occurrence. The actual asking out on a date might not be as common, but keep in mind Bdud, that as a sub you probably are not viewed the same way as a regular classroom teacher by the students. Ahh I know... I am just messing with the guy... I was in the exact situation when I was 21... Only thing is.. I dated one of them... long story short we just celebrated our 9th year of marriage this summer. Only difference I guess was that I knew her from outside of school and we just happened to be in the situation where I was offered a coaching job there and subbed from time to time... (never any of her classes) It was nerve wracking to say the least.. lots of sneaking around... I could only image it being originated at the school in terms of the state of scared shytlessness it would put you in... |
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Post by jrk5150 on Oct 4, 2011 7:18:03 GMT -6
Sounds like you're doing the right thing.
I have some experience working in a facility that included a program for sexually aggressive adolescent girls. I didn't work with the girls, but did work with the staff. Boundaries were a huge principle there - as in a single violation could result in termination. Constantly harped on.
What that means is you draw an extremely strict line between personal and professional - they (kids) shouldn't know anything about your personal life. Nothing. Maybe the town you live in, but that is IT. They shouldn't know anything about you - not your birthday, not your girlfriend's name (or even if you have one or not), not your brother's or sister's name, nothing. No personal details in small talk. "I'm sorry, but that's not appropriate for you to know/do/etc" should become a favorite saying. Other than a hand shake when appropriate, NO TOUCHING, not even a friendly pat on the shoulder. Put up a WALL.
Sounds like you are doing most if not all of the above, and congratulations to you for that.
On a separate note, I always thought that public schools should do (more) training for their staff around things like boundaries, verbal conflict deescalation, etc. My wife is a public school teacher, and she's always said she thought it would be incredibly useful.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2011 10:54:08 GMT -6
K is right in that its not always the "good-looking coach/sub/teacher", it's the being slightly older guy. When I did my student teaching, I wasn't that far from my playing shape, but my playing shape was 5'11'' and 29O and I still had "fans" so to speak. It kind of weirded me out at the time!
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Post by coachcb on Oct 4, 2011 11:27:04 GMT -6
On a separate note, I always thought that public schools should do (more) training for their staff around things like boundaries, verbal conflict deescalation, etc. My wife is a public school teacher, and she's always said she thought it would be incredibly useful. I hear that... I really wish I had gotten some better training in that area when I was younger. Especially when teaching PE classes with girls who felt that wearing a sports bra and cut-off shorts to class was appropriate. I got my a$$ in a sling with that crap. I told a girl once that she needed to go change because what she was wearing wasn't proper gym attire. She didn't have anything else so I made her sit out in her school clothes which was considered an absence she'd have to make up. I loved being hauled into the principal's office where I was accused of 'checking out' the girls. The little witch went on a tirade in that office, friggin ridiculous. I may have gotten fired if it weren't for some of the boys in the class coming to my defense. |
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flingt
Junior Member
"We don't care how big or strong our opponents are as long as they're human.?
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Post by flingt on Oct 4, 2011 11:46:16 GMT -6
sounds like you handled it good. and I hate to laugh at your expense but this had me crackin up- Female, and gay male students say some less than appropriate things havent had that one yet haha My first year teaching I had a male student tell me I had beutiful eyes. Yikes. This was during class and I didn't even ackowledge it. He never said a word to me after that. Bottom line, do not put yourself in a situation where anything could ever been considered fratinization. Don't talk about your personal life, tell them where you live, anything. Trust me. |
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