When Your Son Might Not Want to Play

Is this true? Do other boys feel the same way?

soph year is not easy. If your on a freshman team you might be starting or in the mix. When you go to varsity your low man on the totem pole. This is a varsity team and the priority is getting ready for the varsity season. The players who dont start will have their time in jv. Its not perfect but this is how it is in most programs.

I wanted to quit three times...

jr. high - I was getting hammmered by some bigger kids; The coach called me the "worst center in the city of Shreveport". I felt like I had to play because my father was a sportswriter. He told me that I did not have to play, but that kind of changed my whole prespective. I kept playing for me....I wasn't out there for him anymore. That made a big difference

high school - going into my jr. year. I was not starting and thought that I would be that kid that did not start until his senior year. I had made fun of those guys coming up through the deal...and now I was going to be one of them. My dad said he thought that I should keep playing because guys with my size were getting scholarships - just based on size. He was right. I got my first start midway through my jr. year at TE. I guess we didn't have another TE that could block.

College - This was stupid. I didn't want to play my Senior year because I was going to graduate at the end off the summer quarter and I thought that the head coach was going to be run out of town. I didn't feel like being yelled at and blamed for his firing. This is what I thought he was going to do. He was more laid back my senior year than any other......I went to my position coach. He said "BS...Your not quitting." And that was that.

I know you didn't ask for all of this, but i shared because....

1. I think it is not unnatural
2. May help into relating with how he feels
3. That just because he doesn't share your passion NOW...he may later

I am two weeks into my 15th year of coaching football and have NEVER been more juiced about going into a season than I am now.

I don't know. Maybe share a Poem with him....."Don't Quit" ...."The Race"....or "The Road Not Taken"

But in the end ....and we all know this....football is not for everybody.

Hope this helps.

"Thou Shalt Not Vegetate."

Have been in The Game since 1967 and still feel that way. Have given in (or up) at least three times.

Actually like Two-a-days better than the competitive season because it's just me, coaches, kids - teaching-learning, playing Football, having fun without worrying about winning and losing and all that goes with that.

28th year as head coach and still game nights can be the worst three hours of my week, win or lose.

Been many a Friday game night (or in-season Sunday) I've vowed I'm never going to do this again, once season is over.

And, yet - here I am again.

Must be a "Me" problem.

There are two reasons most teenagers play Football:

1) It's fun

2) For the camaraderie with their friends (and hopefully with coaches who have their best interests at heart, and get their egos satisfied somewhere else).

Not talking about the players who most like what being a Football player can give them (name in paper, adulation, scholarship, etc).

When you have your talk with him, focus on those two points.

And gently tell him that hard work can be fun, too.

HS Football is not, or shouldn't be, a "Zero Sum" game - that only ones who benefit are stars or starters.

So he thinks about what he might be missing.

Bottom line, his decision for his life - not Dad's.

But as earlier poster wrote - tough for kids that age to think long-term (most can't focus past next meal) and even if he doesn't play this year, he could still give it a go next.

Once when they were adolescents our two daughters started whining about me not being home enough, spending more time with them, etc.

I did similarly to what you describe - drove family through worst part of town.

Told them I could be home every afternoon and evening from now on, but we were going to have to live there.

After that if I was home early they kept asking me if there wasn't someplace I was supposed to be - practice, meeting, clinic, etc.

Don't allow him to quit. The season has started, and quitting is the easy way out. If he doesn't want to play next year, no problem - but do not allow him to quit now.

Knew I got that from somebody wiser than me.

Well, either Beth Holtz was foolin' around or Lou was 4-for-4 then because they had four children - "All boys," Lou was fond of saying, "except two."

Anne Hayes was once asked if she ever considered divorce.

''Divorce? No," she replied. "Murder - yes!"

Only way coaching is like having a mistress is you get screwed regularly with very little lovin' in return.

a reporter asked Mrs Paterno if she wished Joe Paterno would retire. She responded " I would not know what to do with him wandering around the house with nothing to do" and " Joe would die if he did not have Penn State football to get up for every morning"

When I hear guys say that a kid shouldn't quit after practice has started I always wonder how else they were supposed to find out that they didn't like football. I have no problem with a kid deciding within a few days that this isn't for him. Football is a hell of a commitment: three or four months of five or six days a week. If a kid decides early on that he doesn't want to do it why hold him to it?

Now, if they want to quit after games start, that's a different story. He's quitting for a different reason.

I don't think you should quit after the season starts even if you don't like it, just don't come out the following year. I wouldn't let my own child quit until it was over. I don't care if others let their kids quit but it just doesn't seem right to me. I wouldn't quit the school I am teaching at after starting the school year because I feel like once you start the school year you have made a committment. Even if I don't like it I feel an obligation. Again not saying their is a right or wrong in this situation but my family will at least finish the season.

That is part of coaching you need to make it enjoyable for all kids. Some are going to want to quit early on sometimes that involves you making a sell job to keep them. You never know how good a grade 10 kid is gonna be.

Kids need to get to try sports plain and simple if they are not interested so be it. My parents made me try to play an instrument I chose the guitar it lasted 1 round of lessons maybe 3 months I played the darn thing a dozen times and just wasn't interested. However when I tried it out and took lessons (our equivelant of practice of camp) the instructor did not give me a "no quit" clause.

If your boy isn't into it ask him why? He is telling you he wants out but his buddies also want out, that probably has more to do with it than anything else. Talk to him about that VS the confidence or any of that stuff.