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Post by airraider on Jul 30, 2011 17:23:41 GMT -6
How would you guys feel if your starting QB missed your pre season scrimmage for his brother's wedding?
Im not very upset about it because...
A. Its just a scrimmage
B. I am really mainly concerned with seeing our how running game (oline) and defense does in this beefed up practice
C. I tend to only worry about what I can control
But, I made the comment to my wife... its a good thing he plays for me and not for some other coach... she then asked why that is... and I couldnt give a good answer...
Because I wouldnt think many coaches would punish this kid for something like this....
but wanted to see if anyone feels differently about that.
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Post by airraider on Jul 30, 2011 17:28:39 GMT -6
Also, would it make a difference if it was a brother getting married for the first time, as opposed to a 47 year old getting married for the 3rd time?
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Post by Defcord on Jul 30, 2011 17:39:17 GMT -6
I had to decline being in my wife's sister's wedding because it was on a bright saturday afternoon when I was coaching in college. My wife wanted to get married on the same date as her grandparents but it fell during football season. People think I am crazy but I tell them my team is my family too and I have an obligation to them.
However, I would never hold it against a kid for missing for a siblings wedding. If it were his third cousing he hadn't seen in a couple years I would be ticked...
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Post by airraider on Jul 30, 2011 18:50:50 GMT -6
I had to decline being in my wife's sister's wedding because it was on a bright saturday afternoon when I was coaching in college. My wife wanted to get married on the same date as her grandparents but it fell during football season. People think I am crazy but I tell them my team is my family too and I have an obligation to them. However, I would never hold it against a kid for missing for a siblings wedding. If it were his third cousing he hadn't seen in a couple years I would be ticked... Yea, my thoughts too... I just feel bad for the kid, because he is worrying himself sick that someone will take his spot... Good thing for him, the 2nd and 3rd string guys are out of town the entire week... So we are down to our emergency QB for the scrimmage... but the way I look at it... this is a great chance to get that guy some work so we know we have something in a pinch. |
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Post by coachks on Jul 30, 2011 19:16:35 GMT -6
It's really not in his control.
Mass generalization to follow
I think too often coaches hold things against kids when the kid is being put int a tough spot. A lot of times a kid is forced to choose between football, and disapointing the people responsible for feeding and sheltering them.
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Post by Defcord on Jul 30, 2011 19:46:40 GMT -6
I had to decline being in my wife's sister's wedding because it was on a bright saturday afternoon when I was coaching in college. My wife wanted to get married on the same date as her grandparents but it fell during football season. People think I am crazy but I tell them my team is my family too and I have an obligation to them. However, I would never hold it against a kid for missing for a siblings wedding. If it were his third cousing he hadn't seen in a couple years I would be ticked... Yea, my thoughts too... I just feel bad for the kid, because he is worrying himself sick that someone will take his spot... Good thing for him, the 2nd and 3rd string guys are out of town the entire week... So we are down to our emergency QB for the scrimmage... but the way I look at it... this is a great chance to get that guy some work so we know we have something in a pinch. During a summer 11 on 11 we were left with only our starter so when we went to our second set of plays we just put our best athlete out there and saw if he could do anything...he impressed the heck out of us was better than our backups so we are putting in a wildcat type formation to utilize him as QB sometimes...was a blessing in disguise...this could be for you guys too like you had said. |
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nexthc
Junior Member
"The Golden Rule"
Posts: 439
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Post by nexthc on Jul 30, 2011 21:04:15 GMT -6
We as coaches preach family first. I would understand that he needed to go to his brothers wedding and miss a scrimmage. Look at it this way, you will get an opportunity to look at the # 2 QB & see where he is at this time.
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Post by coachcastleman on Jul 30, 2011 21:20:47 GMT -6
Our best lineman was going to have to miss our week 7 game against our rival to attend his sisters wedding. Not sure why she is getting married on a Friday night and not a Saturday. Anyway, we are fortunate that he convinced her to move the time to an afternoon wedding so he will be able to do the wedding and then get to the game in time.
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caseys8527
Junior Member
You are either coaching - or letting it happen
Posts: 296
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Post by caseys8527 on Jul 30, 2011 21:29:12 GMT -6
There aren't many things that are bigger then HS football - but this is one of them.
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Post by coachbdud on Jul 30, 2011 21:45:03 GMT -6
can't hold this one against the kid
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Post by blb on Jul 31, 2011 5:44:22 GMT -6
Tell our kids their priorities should be 1. Faith, 2. Family, 3. School, 4. Football (no lower than #4 in-season).
So an immediate family wedding is excused absence. Had a kid miss a game for brother's rehearsal and dinner night before wedding (was Best Man).
Once practice starts it's mandatory unless for one of first three things above (requirements or emergencies) plus illness (better be near-death).
Work and vacations are not excused.
Which leads me to:
You're concerned about your starting QB missing a scrimmage for bro's wedding, but you have (at least) two kids missing a whole week each?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2011 6:19:43 GMT -6
We always had a policy, excused or unexcused you made up your time. This may be nothing more than a few extra sprints or help carrying in the water coolers, cleaning up the field etc. This shows the other players that even though I wasn't here with you, I'm committed to making up my missed time.
That being said, this would be an excused abscence, as someone else said, there are some things bigger than HS football, and this is one of them.
To turn the tables on the missing game scenario, I'll give you one. We had our starting FS miss a game for the very same thing, out of state wedding and they didn't fly, they drove, so they left Thursday after school, missed game. Junior backup came in and played outstanding, way better than we anticipated. The next week in practice the backup, who had gained a TON of confidence being thrown in the fire the week before, beats out the kid who went to the wedding. Now what do you do? We started the backup, as we felt he'd earned it. Guess who was in MY office Monday morning....
Can't win, but the orginal starter, never started another game for us. On the outside looking in, that looks like we held it against him, but totally not the case. The backup was a way better athlete, even in the beginning, he just had confidence issues, that apparently were worked out on the field in the heat of battle. This was a very precarious situation. Just thought I'd toss that one out there, I know these situatoins are rare, but they DO happen!
Duece
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Post by blb on Jul 31, 2011 6:27:47 GMT -6
Good example, Deuce.
Fortunately for our kid (starting Guard) who missed due to brother's nuptials his back-up was lazier than a dead dog and less athletic.
So getting beat out permanently wasn't likely and didn't happen.
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Post by M4 on Jul 31, 2011 7:10:08 GMT -6
It's his brother... there are a few things more important then football, family (espesically a brother) is one of them!
Plus it's a scrimmage!
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Post by tango on Jul 31, 2011 7:35:37 GMT -6
A long time ago I missed a college baseball game to attend my sisters wedding. I was scared to tell the coach. He was a mean dude but was like sure go to your sisters wedding. Now my dad on the other hand was crushed.
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Post by coachbuck on Jul 31, 2011 8:20:47 GMT -6
Its a scrimmage, no big deal. A couple of years ago I was coaching youth football and we had a playoff game coming up. A parent came up to me and told me that my starting running back would not be at the game. His grandma was getting married. Man I was bummed, without him we had no shot. The parent continued on talking and told me this is grandmas 7th wedding. I replied we need your son at our game, tell grandma he will be at the next wedding. He played in the playoff game. LOL
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Post by k on Jul 31, 2011 10:57:45 GMT -6
Its his brother...
Family First. Then School. Then Football. Then the rest. No exceptions. I'd make him run if he missed his sister's wedding to come to a scrimmage. If it was a playoff game we might have to discuss it a little bit. =)
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Post by airraider on Jul 31, 2011 11:10:27 GMT -6
Tell our kids their priorities should be 1. Faith, 2. Family, 3. School, 4. Football (no lower than #4 in-season). So an immediate family wedding is excused absence. Had a kid miss a game for brother's rehearsal and dinner night before wedding (was Best Man). Once practice starts it's mandatory unless for one of first three things above (requirements or emergencies) plus illness (better be near-death). Work and vacations are not excused. Which leads me to: You're concerned about your starting QB missing a scrimmage for bro's wedding, but you have (at least) two kids missing a whole week each? Maybe you should read better (not your strong point), because I did not say I am concerned. I said I would be concerned if he played for someone else, as they might not be as understanding as I am. |
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Post by fantom on Jul 31, 2011 11:15:34 GMT -6
I think the bigger question is what kind of guy marries a girl who schedules a wedding during football? That's the real problem. She has 365 days to choose from and she has to pick one of the 80 that matter? That's just plain selfish. quote] LOL. That was my first thought, too. |
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jake99
Probationary Member
Posts: 6
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Post by jake99 on Jul 31, 2011 12:04:58 GMT -6
 Come on guys get a clue!!! You NEVER EVER get married during Football season.
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Post by airmale on Jul 31, 2011 13:01:39 GMT -6
PRACTICE! WE TALKING ABOUT PRACTICE! PRACTICE!
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Post by coachtut on Jul 31, 2011 13:17:10 GMT -6
Also, would it make a difference if it was a brother getting married for the first time, as opposed to a 47 year old getting married for the 3rd time? This right here would control how I felt about the situation. But either way you really can't control it. |
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Post by TMGPG on Jul 31, 2011 19:40:45 GMT -6
We always had a policy, excused or unexcused you made up your time. This may be nothing more than a few extra sprints or help carrying in the water coolers, cleaning up the field etc. This shows the other players that even though I wasn't here with you, I'm committed to making up my missed time. That being said, this would be an excused abscence, as someone else said, there are some things bigger than HS football, and this is one of them. To turn the tables on the missing game scenario, I'll give you one. We had our starting FS miss a game for the very same thing, out of state wedding and they didn't fly, they drove, so they left Thursday after school, missed game. Junior backup came in and played outstanding, way better than we anticipated. The next week in practice the backup, who had gained a TON of confidence being thrown in the fire the week before, beats out the kid who went to the wedding. Now what do you do? We started the backup, as we felt he'd earned it. Guess who was in MY office Monday morning.... Can't win, but the orginal starter, never started another game for us. On the outside looking in, that looks like we held it against him, but totally not the case. The backup was a way better athlete, even in the beginning, he just had confidence issues, that apparently were worked out on the field in the heat of battle. This was a very precarious situation. Just thought I'd toss that one out there, I know these situatoins are rare, but they DO happen! Duece That sucks for the original starter. Kids that have to miss things for wedding and things like that, we can't be upset with them. It is just family things that they need to be at. But I guess leave at your own risk if you are a starter. |
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Post by sandstorm on Jul 31, 2011 20:15:25 GMT -6
We really can't preach family, and then expect the athlete to bail on his. Not an issue at all. Send him and his family your best, next man up. Simple as that.
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Post by downdownkick on Aug 1, 2011 1:58:25 GMT -6
We always had a policy, excused or unexcused you made up your time. This may be nothing more than a few extra sprints or help carrying in the water coolers, cleaning up the field etc. This shows the other players that even though I wasn't here with you, I'm committed to making up my missed time. I love it |
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Post by groundchuck on Aug 1, 2011 3:54:49 GMT -6
If I become supreme ruler of the world my players, families, and friends will not get married between the months of August and November. Exceptions will be made for weddings taking place the first week of August, or will allowed to be scheduled if/when my team is eliminated from the playoffs.
I have had players skip the rehersal or grooms dinner to make practice. I have had players miss practice/scrimmage for a wedding. I have never had a varsity kid miss a game for a wedding.
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Post by blb on Aug 1, 2011 5:25:04 GMT -6
Okay, since you apparently have ESL, let me restate:
Why are your 2nd and 3rd string QBs (others?) missing an entire week of practice, including scrimmage?
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Post by airraider on Aug 1, 2011 13:50:02 GMT -6
Okay, since you apparently have ESL, let me restate: Why are your 2nd and 3rd string QBs (others?) missing an entire week of practice, including scrimmage? Church camp and vacation in Canada. One is an 8th grader and the other a 9th grader. Now find out that the kid who is supposed to play QB might miss the scrimmage for a baseball game. All of which sucks, but what can you do? |
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Post by pvogel on Aug 1, 2011 14:03:31 GMT -6
I tell everyone i know not to have a fall wedding if they want me there
Ive found out no one wants me at their wedding haha
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Post by coachgrizz on Aug 1, 2011 15:53:29 GMT -6
I went straight from the rehearsal dinner to the press box where one of the other coaches had my headphones waiting when my youngest daughter got married...never missed a play. Walked her down the aisle (at rehearsal) in my coaching shirt.
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Come on guys get a clue!!! You NEVER EVER get married during Football season. 
