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Post by wildcat on Feb 19, 2007 9:58:01 GMT -6
This is kind of an offshoot on a similar thread...
How many of you guys have coached your own kids? My boys are still really young, so it isn't something I have to worry about yet. I have seen it done very well and very poorly.
Last year, our head coach really wanted his kid to be a superstar even though he was not that good. He got to stat at center even though there was 2 or 3 other kids who were better than him. I really felt bad for the kid because the other kids on the team really turned on him because of all of the favoritism shown toward him.
We also have a kid who is a tremendous athlete, possibly the best athlete in the entire program. His dad is on staff and is very hard on him to the extent that the kid plays really tight because he doesn't want dad to come down on him.
Couple of years ago, we had 2 all-State QBs and their dad was on the staff. He handled it really well. Was tough on the boys, but not so tough to make them play poorly.
What is the best way to handle it? What if your kid is a stud? What if he is not a very good football player? Is there any difference?
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Post by fbdoc on Feb 19, 2007 10:34:58 GMT -6
I think many coaches would say that the "best" way is to treat them exactly like everyone else, which is darn near impossible because we almost never treat everyone the same way - rather you treat them the way they deserve to be treated.
My son just graduated from our school and is now playing at a D-III school. I got to coach him (as head coach - not his position coach) for all 4 years and it was a great experience.
As a 9th grader he rode the pine (WR) and got in a few special teams plays. As a sophomore he was getting some PT early and then had to go down and serve as QB for our JV team. That spring he earned a starting WR role and started the next 2 years, setting our school records in receptions and yards (we're a running team!) and also catching the game winning TD against our biggest rival!
The memories we (I) have of those times are obviously among the highlights of my coaching career. There were times where I was probably harder on him than I would have been on another player - a couple of times on our ride home from practice I would tell him "That was for the team, not for you..." and he would answer "I know, dad."
Like anything else - if its done right, its a great thing!
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Post by coachmacplains on Feb 19, 2007 10:36:27 GMT -6
Have posted on this before, but a few ideas. Ultimately, you have to know what your purpose is. Do you want the program to move forward and develop the character and talents of a group of young men or do you want to advance an agenda for members of your own family. If you can honestly answer in the first case, then do what you have to do in order to achieve those purposes. Inevitably, some folks will make charges of favoritism. While it's understandable and not easy to take that is often part of it. The difficulty is balancing how you deal with your own sons in a way that doesn't go too much in either direction - either ultra critical (which I think will be the tendency if your motives are right and you want to make peace) or too soft. I must say, there is a political element to this that really grinds me the wrong way because it seems like such a non-issue in my mind, and yet the reality of it is still there. While I could bore you with some personal anecdotes, but will spare you and simply challenge you to keep your eyes on the goals of why you are there.
I did get a good piece of advice on this board awhile back: Don't make your kids pay because they are your sons. If your priorities are straight, you can sleep at night, regardless of what others may think.
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kr7263
Sophomore Member
Posts: 228
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Post by kr7263 on Feb 19, 2007 13:45:22 GMT -6
What about teaching in the same building as your kids? How did you handle it? How was it for the kids? Did they take any grief?
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Post by dubber on Feb 19, 2007 15:41:36 GMT -6
...i try to coach them best I can...but when the practice or game is over, I do not talk about it. This is the way to go. Make sure you seperate family life and football practice. Be a coach, and then on that ride home, be a dad. I have a situation that is close to this......I coach my brother. He is a stud. I am 5'7'' 205......he's 6'2'' 280 with a lot more athleticism than I ever had. During offensive individual, I usually position myself around other kids to coach them up. Dad and son is one thing, but brother to brother is peer to peer, and has its own set of circumstances. |
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Post by dubber on Feb 19, 2007 15:43:22 GMT -6
Hard to give orders/coaching to a kid you use to get into knock down, drag out, fights with.............though those are few and far between now he is bigger than I am.
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Post by phantom on Feb 19, 2007 15:52:51 GMT -6
My son played for us and a plus is that it allowed us to spend time together. The issue of favoritism never came up because he was a punter. We're lucky to have a great kicking coach who has two rules: 1. Kickers aren NOT football players, they're kickers; 2. Only HE coaches
the kickers. That cut me out of dealing with him completely which worked well. I don't teach at the school so that issue never came up either.
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wccoach
Sophomore Member
Posts: 159
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Post by wccoach on Feb 19, 2007 17:11:55 GMT -6
I have coached my son's team and it was not a problem. My agreement with the HC was I would join the staff only if I did not have to coach him. It was not an issue in that I coached QB's and he played defense. I would have some fun with him at times in skelly when he was the invert safety and I was the scout QB. I would give my scout guys an automatic flood play that I signaled in the cadence when I saw he was going to drop to an underneath coverage. We would just eat him up with the flat/ mini-curl combo. I did not do it very often, but it was funny to listen to the DC get up his a** about his old man picking him apart. We laugh about it now! He did make his share of picks off me when we went to team and my scout team played like a bunch of girls. Those were great days!
I told the other coaches that I would be offended if they ever showed him any favoritism because he was a coach's son, but I also told them that I always, secretly, cheered for him when he was on the field. We never had a single problem. I'm getting a little misty eyed just thinking about those years. What a great experience!
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Post by hsrose on Feb 19, 2007 17:43:18 GMT -6
Ok, here is my sad, but true, tale. I got into coaching 5 seasons ago because the coaches on my son's team were extremely bad and were not asked back. I applied to be a coach and the league gave me the HC position. I coached my son for 1 year. He was one of the biggest, most talented kids on the team. Played him at blocking back (single wing). I was harder on him than the other kids, mostly from fear of parents taking him, and me, apart for favoritism.
He moves on, I coach youth for 2 more years, get a position at the HS varsity where I've coached the past 2 years. He comes to the HS, plays frosh and then JV. Not in my area, all is well. Next season he will be a Jr. and as part of a new HC selection process I get promoted to OC. He's the QB. Now I'm in the position of controlling the offense that my son will be running. Not my plan - I was going to ask to go down to JV so I would not have this situation.
So, going into this season I'm really worried about how to approach this. I'm going to try my best to be as even-handed as possible, but we run the option which is QB heavy. I hope this works out the next 2 years.
So, I have no great words of advice for anyone on how to handle this situation. I'll probably be watching this thread for more bits of advice.
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Post by warrior53 on Feb 20, 2007 21:14:06 GMT -6
My father coached me when I was in high school - he was my position coach in football and my head coach in baseball. Nobody ever thought there was favoritism - believe me - most people told me he was very hard on me. There were some tough times and some battles, but it was a great experience for me. It is probably not for everyone, but my senior year was great - we were as close as we ever were. We talked about football all the time when we got home - that was never an issue, that was a given. I loved it. I hope I can do the same when my son gets old enough. The only thing that would have been better would have been coaching with him.
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