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Post by tractor on Feb 1, 2011 17:25:32 GMT -6
As usual, I am doing annual evaluations so I am going to start with myself this year. I guess publishing it is a way of committing myself to changing. Anything you guys care to add about your own experiences is always helpful.
I am now under the realization that I have chosen to make myself a miserable crabby coach when I:
1. Spend too much time worrying about the past or future.
I have seriously wasted too much time in my life contemplating and replaying game scenarios in my head. Overthinking. It leads to compulsively imagining future scenarios. I will now endeavor to drop the excessive contemplation and move my focus to the present moment.
2. Try to please everyone and pay attention to the negative voices.
Pressure. Being a football coach is one of those jobs that EVERYONE seems to know how to do. You should have gone for it. You should have punted. You should have....
No kidding, think I don’t know that now? I am embarrassed to admit that the root of this pressure comes from looking to others for validation. If I feel pressure from the thoughts and opinions of others, then on some level I probably actually care about what they think.
I have resolved to be more selective about what I will allow into my brain.
3. Never try something new.
Safety really is just an illusion. The second you think you might have it figured out, the rules get changed or somebody invents a better quick screen. Football is a chess game and there is a need to always upgrade your game, if for no other reason than just to keep yourself from becoming stale. It makes coaching more enjoyable.
4. Compare myself to the lives and accomplishments of others.
I need to focus on the process and just get better each day. It’s a long road. At what point am I allowed to be happy? If not today, then what actually has to happen before I will feel satisfaction? I have become increasingly aware that life has only so many championship moments. It only makes sense to learn to enjoy and really appreciate those things that go on between them.
5. Take myself too seriously.
I found that if my problems and actions are really serious and huge and important, well that means that I must be just as important. See, aren’t I cool! This way of thinking, the me first approach, really only just makes me irritable. Unstable too, as I spend most of my time being hard on myself. This leads to a negative approach. Perfect recipe for being miserable. Becoming a happier coach, a coach whose enthusiasm is so great that it actually infects the players and staff, is not so much about changing my external circumstances as it is about changing myself and the way I think.
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Post by lochness on Feb 1, 2011 17:44:43 GMT -6
Brilliant post. Nicely done coach
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Post by emptybackfield on Feb 1, 2011 18:01:18 GMT -6
Absolutely...excellent post coach. I find myself being caught in the same thinking traps you are. I have a problem where I can't walk away from an argument. I feel like I need to prove that what I did was the best thing. I need to realize ignorance cannot be defeated and just focus on what those that matter think.
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Post by td4tc on Feb 1, 2011 20:25:34 GMT -6
tractor,
nice post..all you need to be happy is a great wife, a great dog and a great quarterback....and a little booze which doesn't make you a bad person
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Post by bleefb on Feb 1, 2011 20:38:22 GMT -6
"all you need to be happy is a great wife, a great dog and a great quarterback"
And not necessarily in that order! ;D
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cujo
Sophomore Member
Posts: 107
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Post by cujo on Feb 1, 2011 20:46:19 GMT -6
Coach , I imagine you have described every coach in one way or the other. I coached at a small school for nearly 10 years. 5 games a year were against schools almost twice as large, so it was a tough place to win. Started worrying about what people thought, started worrying about winning games, started worrying about pleasing administration.
After resigning because my health was getting so bad, and bitter as hell, I took a small job and rediscovered what was loved about me. I had one goal and one goal only, and that was to make young men better. like my coaches had done for me. I want to be a head coach again one day, and I will be good, BUT ONLY ON THIS CRITERIA, NO ONE ELSES...
1. Is what I did today make a better man (Make him responsible, make him a man of charachter. The man wins the team will follow.)
2. Study, don't be scared to think out of the box. TRUE wing T man, hard for me to think outside the wing. Now run zone out of the wing, 20 years ago i wouldn't have done it!!! I listen to everyone in the coaching profession(Eat the chicken and throw away the bones, always grow!!!!)
3. Stay off message boards, I never ask what someone thinks(Except the coaches I work with) As in the word of Jim Mora "You may think you know, but you have no idea!!!" I have studied for 23 years, and I may not know much, but I know more than the typical mom and dad in the stand. What I think matters!!! Did I get the men prepared to the best of my ability, then that's all I can do. Worrying about what they think take away precious time(which I have little of) from a beautiful 5 year old girl who could give a rats butt whether I win or lose, she needs me at the top of my game. (which is for her to beat me like a goat in our living room floor)
4. Don't worry about winnig, again worry about am I doing thing to make my men better men!!!
I questioned the good Lord when i was going through all the crap, why me ? It put me back into why we get in the profession in the first place.
One last thing, I was sitting next to a very successful coach, hall of fame guy, one day. He was telling me about how the parents were on his butt about going 8-3. (I was thinking I would take 8-3 every year!!!) it made me realize that we all have it the same, some more than others. It is our job to mold young men. Everything else will take care of it self!
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Post by mariner42 on Feb 1, 2011 20:49:33 GMT -6
Here's to having perspective and class! Kudos.
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Post by coachcb on Feb 1, 2011 21:16:36 GMT -6
Great post, coach.
I've always tried to be self-reflective and I tend to fail. But, I didn't have a choice this last season as it was rough but it did a lot of good for me as a coach.
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Post by coacht7 on Feb 1, 2011 22:55:05 GMT -6
I'll just put it this way, coach. If I were one of your players, I'd be proud to play for you.
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Post by sportsleader on Feb 2, 2011 4:07:30 GMT -6
All well stated. I remember watching an interview of Nick Saban once last year on some football season preview show and at one point he said that he enjoyed winning the national championship for about six hours and then it was on to preparing for the next season. I have nothing against Nick Saban and maybe he was just saying that but there is some truth to it. In the coaching profession we do prepare an awful lot and this humble self-reflection by tractor is a reminder for all of us that we need to enjoy the little things in coaching: -the great play by the untalented player -the improvement of the struggling offensive line -the consistency of our kicker -the fact that the stands are pretty well packed even in the midst of a disappointing season -the beauty of the sunset and the sunrise -our wife's smile when we walk through the door I think I personally need to commit to celebrating the little things more in my own life and not "just" look for the big moments ... sportsleaderusa.blogspot.com/ |
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Post by mattyg2787 on Feb 2, 2011 4:36:15 GMT -6
tractor, nice post..all you need to be happy is a great wife, a great dog and a great quarterback....and a little booze which doesn't make you a bad person swap that for o line and your spot on. including the booze part. But seriously, good plan coach. Like it's already been said. All you can do is measure yourself against yourself |
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Post by groundchuck on Feb 2, 2011 5:37:33 GMT -6
Good post.
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Post by coachjd on Feb 2, 2011 6:14:15 GMT -6
Great self-reflection Tractor. It should make us all take a step back and self reflect and honestly find a way to improve each day. Just like we ask our kids to do. We can do the same thing.
Great job!
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Post by davishfc on Feb 2, 2011 8:44:28 GMT -6
In the coaching profession we do prepare an awful lot and this humble self-reflection by tractor is a reminder for all of us that we need to enjoy the little things in coaching: -the great play by the untalented player -the improvement of the struggling offensive line -the consistency of our kicker -the fact that the stands are pretty well packed even in the midst of a disappointing season -the beauty of the sunset and the sunrise -our wife's smile when we walk through the door Great list of little things to enjoy. I think I personally need to commit to celebrating the little things more in my own life and not "just" look for the big moments ... I definitely need to do this. The big moments don't come very often and when they do, it's usually for only a few teams. I need to celebrate the little things more often. You're right Coach, that will ultimately make me a happier coach. |
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Post by coachfurn on Feb 2, 2011 15:45:22 GMT -6
Great post coach... I need to think about some of the same issues you brought to our attention also..
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burn
Sophomore Member
Posts: 181
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Post by burn on Feb 3, 2011 0:27:47 GMT -6
I don't post often but your post was great. I tell all of my staff and kids don't identify yourself as a coach or player. Identify yourself as a son, father, brother, husband and friend. Make sure you are excelling in those parts of your life and you will always be successful. Football is a game with many intangibles that you can not fully control and if you constantly fret over the misses you forget to enjoy the makes. I remember winning the last game you can play once in the playoffs and I was sad because it was over and I would miss the kids. I did not celebrate the win because I was concentrating on the ending and not looking at the positive of fulfilling a goal with a few out shape men and some beautiful young men. Life is short and we tend to sink into the aspects of life that are fleeting when we need to enjoy that moment. Even if it is just for all involved enjoy the moment and in your reflections remember those little things you did to add to someone's life. Again coach great post and I hope you can reflect on the difference you are making regardless of wins or losses because those are always wins.
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Post by coach1619 on Feb 6, 2011 15:34:52 GMT -6
Great posts. This only reminds me why coaching is such a priveledge. The more time you put into the "right" things, you will receive so much more back from your efforts.
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Post by dhooper on Feb 9, 2011 12:42:33 GMT -6
Wow great post, I agree and think the same way. It's hard and if I didn't have my faith and a great wife I wouldn't be coaching. I catch my self getting up set because Johny miss the weight session and instead should be happy because little Joey did.
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Post by tothehouse on Feb 9, 2011 14:11:42 GMT -6
As usual, I am doing annual evaluations so I am going to start with myself this year. I guess publishing it is a way of committing myself to changing. Anything you guys care to add about your own experiences is always helpful. I am now under the realization that I have chosen to make myself a miserable crabby coach when I: 1. Spend too much time worrying about the past or future. I have seriously wasted too much time in my life contemplating and replaying game scenarios in my head. Overthinking. It leads to compulsively imagining future scenarios. I will now endeavor to drop the excessive contemplation and move my focus to the present moment. I was pretty good at looking forward with understanding of what was happening right now. 2. Try to please everyone and pay attention to the negative voices. Pressure. Being a football coach is one of those jobs that EVERYONE seems to know how to do. You should have gone for it. You should have punted. You should have.... No kidding, think I don’t know that now? I am embarrassed to admit that the root of this pressure comes from looking to others for validation. If I feel pressure from the thoughts and opinions of others, then on some level I probably actually care about what they think. I have resolved to be more selective about what I will allow into my brain. I learned early that the decisions I made were with the people that mattered most in that decision...the other coaches and players. 3. Never try something new. Safety really is just an illusion. The second you think you might have it figured out, the rules get changed or somebody invents a better quick screen. Football is a chess game and there is a need to always upgrade your game, if for no other reason than just to keep yourself from becoming stale. It makes coaching more enjoyable. I'm always looking for the best way to accomplish a task. It that means it's "new", so be it. 4. Compare myself to the lives and accomplishments of others. I need to focus on the process and just get better each day. It’s a long road. At what point am I allowed to be happy? If not today, then what actually has to happen before I will feel satisfaction? I have become increasingly aware that life has only so many championship moments. It only makes sense to learn to enjoy and really appreciate those things that go on between them. This is why I've decided to stop coaching for now. I've won championships. Now I'm going to be a "champion" in other parts of my life. 5. Take myself too seriously. I found that if my problems and actions are really serious and huge and important, well that means that I must be just as important. See, aren’t I cool! This way of thinking, the me first approach, really only just makes me irritable. Unstable too, as I spend most of my time being hard on myself. This leads to a negative approach. Perfect recipe for being miserable. Becoming a happier coach, a coach whose enthusiasm is so great that it actually infects the players and staff, is not so much about changing my external circumstances as it is about changing myself and the way I think. Was having with trouble with this part...so I'm stepping away...again to create enthusiasm elsewhere in my life. |
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Post by tractor on Feb 15, 2011 23:38:39 GMT -6
I am constantly reminded of the impact that we can have in this world as coaches, so I try not to take the responsibility of the position lightly. It's good to endeavor to do work that matters, makes me feel like I bring something to the table.
Just want to say thanks for all of the kind words and support. I very much appreciate it.
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Post by robinhood on Feb 16, 2011 10:43:22 GMT -6
In order to be a happy coach you must understand two things:
1. God didn't put you in that coaching position to win games. He put you there to serve - Him and your players. What happens while you are doing that doesn't matter.
2. God NEVER gives us a mountain too high to climb.
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