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Post by coachcb on Nov 2, 2010 9:54:27 GMT -6
There's a tribal deal down here that's really popular with all of the Natives.
Me: "Alright guys, I know that you guys are going to hit up the fair tonight, but keep your noses clean. You better not be boozing and stay away from the women; they're bad news any way you look at it.
QB: "Yeah, you don't want to hook up with any chicks at fair anyway; they might be your cousin."
Me: "Are you speaking from experience??"
QB (looking down at the ground): "Uh-huh. But, she was only my 3rd cousin."
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Post by ajreaper on Nov 2, 2010 12:35:32 GMT -6
instead of having him kick to the side, just point him at an angle, so he`s still kicking forward, it`s the field that`s at a funny angle. believe me when I tell you, we have tried everything its funny because he think its a equilibrium thing... ha ha...what son? Been there done that, Just aim your belly button toward where you want the ball to go and punt it normally. He's a great punter otherwise but dang sometimes the things he comes up with (he's a RB/LB as well and I could write a book about this kids questions and answers the past 2 seasons)
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Post by Coach Klemme on Nov 2, 2010 20:41:52 GMT -6
I was making an offensive sophomore huddle and got it all put together when a kid peeked around me and asked if we needed a corner to run our plays. Yes we do. They're just over there.
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jlt
Junior Member
Posts: 313
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Post by jlt on Nov 3, 2010 2:52:25 GMT -6
Overheard last night
"That DT kept cutting me every damn play. Might just do what they did in the film and finger his ass."
I nearly cried with laughter as he was dead serious. can someone please tell me what film this was!
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Post by Chris Clement on Nov 3, 2010 7:43:20 GMT -6
I don`t know, but a pro rugby player got severely suspended for repeatedly doing that.
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Post by tango on Nov 3, 2010 8:04:50 GMT -6
How do you make slush water cold? But coach it is like ice water.
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Post by phantom on Nov 3, 2010 8:27:54 GMT -6
I don`t know, but a pro rugby player got severely suspended for repeatedly doing that. An Australian, I think. Banned for life.
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Post by tog on Nov 3, 2010 20:11:18 GMT -6
a kid was talking with one of our coaches the other day about the nfl
the bengals came up as a subject
then the kid busts out with
"hey coach, I bet you didn't know what ocho cinco stands for"
ok, tell me
"85" coach---it's his jersey number in spanish"
and this kid was dead serious
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Post by mitch on Nov 6, 2010 14:04:31 GMT -6
I'm upset with my varsity DE at halftime because he's not lining up in a 7 tech on the slot, so in my irritation I snap over to my underclassman DE named Nate. "Jesus, do we even know what a slot is? Can you even spell SLOT? Come on Jason!! Nate you're a DE, can you spell SLOT?" Nate: "Nope" Just then I catch our QB coach, who is Nate's special ed teacher and he's shaking his head "no" also. Me: "Well chit, someone go tell them they can't play a slot anymore, we can't even spell it let alone know what the hell it is and how to line up on it." That's funny stuff right there.
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Post by coachturley on Nov 6, 2010 22:48:14 GMT -6
Kid forgets to pick up his jersey after practice on thursday...comes back in, knocks on my office door, and asks one of my assistants if he can pick it up. Assistants pop off and ask why he didn't pick it up earlier with everyone else. His response:
"Coach, I wasn't here before I left!"
I can't make this up....
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Post by TMGPG on Nov 9, 2010 11:58:55 GMT -6
I personally like the onside punt comment. I like where that kids head is at.
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cv13
Freshmen Member
Posts: 98
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Post by cv13 on Nov 10, 2010 11:58:57 GMT -6
got playcalling duties taken away from me for one game by the head coach because he wanted to "look more involved".. we lost 36-6... anyway as i was charting the plays a player that was standing behind me said...
"this is just aimless playcalling.. i feel like i'm watching a game of madden"
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jlt
Junior Member
Posts: 313
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Post by jlt on Nov 15, 2010 7:45:22 GMT -6
We had our 2nd game of the season yesterday and we won with a shutout. I heard 2 things that made me laugh during the game. Both involved the same guy:
Our RB broke free and was on for a TD when he just fell over. hit a blade of grass out of sync and just faceplanted. Both sidelines went quiet in disbelief and I then heard our TE clear as day go "TJ you DICKHEAD".
Second one was in the 4th, D was on. I was telling the O backups to get ready for the other team to go 3 and out and get on the field for some gametime. So I call out a few names and switch them in. I then call out the TE name and tell him to switch in. Then the QB goes "Uhhh coach. He just run on the field"
Turn round and there he is slowing from a jog to a walk as he notices none of the other O are on the field. The DC shouts at him and he clicks out of it and runs off the pitch.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2010 7:49:24 GMT -6
From a few weeks ago, just now getting around to posting it:
Me: "Scotty, going to see you in the weight room this offseason?"
Scotty: "COACH!!!! Weigh lifting makes me fat!!!"
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Post by bleefb on Nov 18, 2010 1:07:59 GMT -6
Three starter comes up to me today: Player: "Coach, is it bad to wear size 13 cleats?" Me: "What size are you supposed to wear?" Player: "Size 11" Me: "How long have you been wearing them?" Player: "All year."
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Post by 60zgo on Nov 24, 2010 10:13:32 GMT -6
I am OL coach... We are doing some sled work early this season. First team gets a few reps then the twos and so on.
First teamer to his back up: "Yeah b&*h, put your sweat on my sweat" Back up: "Seriously?" First teamer: "Yeah seriously, it makes my d&%k hard."
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Post by tango on Nov 24, 2010 17:31:33 GMT -6
A 9th grader yells to our MLB make em bleed like a syringe.
Same kid, god gave you two arms now use them.
Same kid, quit form tackling and kill that dude.
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Post by gambler00 on Nov 24, 2010 20:15:31 GMT -6
I had a player come up to me during the middle of a defensive series and say coach we got to many men on the field we have 11 players out there
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Post by coachmorgan on Nov 24, 2010 20:24:51 GMT -6
One of my backup (and I use that term loosely) defensive ends moved over to the offensive line. This kid isn't the brightest kid in the world....but I love him. He would probably get more playing time for us on D if he could only remember the plays. We would call Slant and he would go the wrong way, or pinch and he would go out....the list goes on and on
Well after a few days over with the OL....the OL coach asks him if the offensive plays are as complicated as the defense we run. He tells the coach "Heck no......hell coach...we only have two plays. Ringo and Lucy.....if our linebacker yells Ringo....we go right, and if he yells Lucy...we go left."
Our OL coach was telling me this at a restaurant with a bunch of coaches there.....and I couldn't stop laughing....and I turned to my DL coach...and told him...."that explains a lot."
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Post by snakeyes on Dec 2, 2010 11:19:38 GMT -6
We were in a close game with a conference rival this year. I knew the coach from the other team would give a detailed scouting report on us to his team, so I put in a trick play for this game (it was a double pass). Upon going down by a touchdown when the other team faked a punt for a TD, I decided we would use the trick play on the first down upon receiving the kick. We execute the double pass to perfection for a 65 yard touchdown...the funny part is when the other team's players were chasing my receiver down the field I heard one of them yell: "That play wasn't in our scouting report!"
I'll admit, it brought a smile to my face...we ended up winning the game by a touchdown.
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Post by falconattack on Dec 2, 2010 11:41:34 GMT -6
Freshman game, many years ago..... Cornerback chased the ball carrier 80 yards, right on his heels the whole way. It looked like a foot race that would end in a tie. Realizing he could have tackled the RB at anytime, a coach asked him: "Son, you obviously knew he had the ball, why didn't you tackle him". Response: "Coach, I couldn't get in front of him". Coach: "What does that have to do with anything?" Player response: "Coach, I didn't want to get a penalty for clipping". Post script --- That kid went on to be All-State in high school and played 4 years of college football. He is now a lawyer......hope he interperts laws better then rules
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Post by phantom on Dec 2, 2010 11:56:15 GMT -6
Freshman game, many years ago..... Cornerback chased the ball carrier 80 yards, right on his heels the whole way. It looked like a foot race that would end in a tie. Realizing he could have tackled the RB at anytime, a coach asked him: "Son, you obviously knew he had the ball, why didn't you tackle him". Response: "Coach, I couldn't get in front of him". Coach: "What does that have to do with anything?" Player response: "Coach, I didn't want to get a penalty for clipping". Post script --- That kid went on to be All-State in high school and played 4 years of college football. He is now a lawyer......hope he interperts laws better then rules One of the smartest players that we ever had didn't start that way either. In his first JV game there was a penalty called. Our guy picked up the flag, handed it to the ref and said politely, "Excuse me, Sir. You dropped this". Fortunately the coaches were able to convince the official that he was serious.
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Post by falconattack on Dec 2, 2010 12:01:27 GMT -6
Talking to my d-line coach minutes ago. Mentioned this thread and he reminded me of a pretty good one....
Night before a Sophomore game, d-line coach talks to his group about "getting some sacks tomorrow".
Next morning, I get a call from an upset mother. She wants me to know that she didn't have any sacks at home so she went out of her way to take her son to the store to get a sack. She wanted to know what was SOOOOOO important about her son getting a sack for the game.
I had no idea what she was talking about until I talked to the d-line coach......holy smoke, I almost broke a rib laughing.
We have this kid 2 more years.....oh boy!!!
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Post by bobgoodman on Dec 3, 2010 0:34:21 GMT -6
I feel soooo old because i can remember before "sack" was a widely used term in football.
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dx51173
Probationary Member
Posts: 11
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Post by dx51173 on Dec 10, 2010 9:21:17 GMT -6
One nine game season, a player was looking at the schedule with a confused look on his face. I asked him what was wrong. He was trying to figure out where "OPEN" was and wanted to know if they were any good!!!
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