barnone
Sophomore Member
Posts: 132
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Post by barnone on Oct 26, 2007 7:57:30 GMT -6
Just a update for you guys from my situation. We had a parent meeting the other day with our AD leading it, here is it what transpired.
1. Parent that was asked to not come back to game (for hollering racial laced insults from stands) Griped and wanted and appology from our AD. 2. Parents griped because we asked kids to bring 3 dollars for snacks durring movie night on Thurs. and for pre-game meal on friday. (School should supply all of that free of charge according to them). 3. One parent stated "Some of us Dad's know about football, how can we get our suggestions for plays to the coach?" 4.We should move practice to after school and the district should provide transportation home from practice. 5. Coaches should be providing study hall every night. 6. High light films should be done by coaches on all players and available withing 24 hours. 7. A couple of parents stated that we are allowing kids to cuss, (BTW the two that said it kids cuss the most). 8. We were not making football fun for the kids. (Sorry but 2-6 is not fun, espicially after you won a State Championship the year before. There were other things but this is the main points.
However, one of my LBs Dad spoke up (he was a lay coach for us last year). Basically blasted the parents saying that it was not the Coaches job to raise your kids. Talked about how 40 parents will show up for a football meeting, but wont show up for parent teacher confrences or even care what grades thier kids have. He basically just stood up for us. It was great to have him there.
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Post by coachcb on Oct 26, 2007 8:06:13 GMT -6
I'd apeal to the highest levels of the administration- vice principal, principal, etc... Bring them into the situation and MAKE THE ATHLETIC DIRECTOR DO THEIR JOB!!!!
I'd also think about talking to the local police dept and ask if they can provide an officer as security. One of the idiots will get themselves arrested and it'll tone down the rest of them.
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Post by brophy on Oct 26, 2007 8:09:44 GMT -6
Good God, barnone........that is completely ridiculous.
Do you guys have a booster club / gridiron club?
What are some of the things you guys do to influence, communicate with, get feedback from, the PARENTS of your kids?
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barnone
Sophomore Member
Posts: 132
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Post by barnone on Oct 26, 2007 8:43:16 GMT -6
We have one All Sports booster club, and guess what, very few of our parents are members, cause the charge a fee!!! Oh the Sup directed this meeting and our AD was trying to direct it as what we can do better for next year and such. We do have a deputey that works at our school and I very good friends with, anytime we have a problem I just have to call him and he will come around.
As far a communication with parents, it is poor. If we have issues with kids we will call the parents in and have a sit down with HC Coordinator and position coach. Other than that our parents really don't want to be involved, they just like to complain about things. Last year we had some parents say they wanted to feed the kids on Friday. Well one Week they ran out of food, the next week they called friday morning and said they were not going to do it.
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barnone
Sophomore Member
Posts: 132
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Post by barnone on Oct 26, 2007 8:45:49 GMT -6
So if anybody has some job openings and needs an assistant that coached a very under achieving Defense and a horific offensive line, keep me in mind. I may be looking for next year. No for real I am planning on comming back, cause we should be really good next year and I have a couple of players that are great kids that I want to see do well. It is just a crazy place, espicially when you throw race issues into the mix.
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Post by brophy on Oct 26, 2007 8:59:17 GMT -6
What are some of the things you guys do to drum up community support? When dealing with "race" issues, how much are you able to build community ties by working with area churches to strengthen an association with the community (your football program takes on an identity larger than just a football program when church leaders drum up support among parishoners....a GREAT way to influence from the inside when you have people defending the program when you aren't there).
Are there any restrictions on building a football-specific booster club? Just get a treasurer and someone to do mailings........fish-fry, car-wash, help out at fairs/big events for program $$.....so the profits go to the FOOTBALL team. Building a booster club is the foundation for building programs for the long-haul.
From that kitty of $$, you can host 'parent-nights' where you can, again, reach out and create parental-peer-pressure to influence the belief system of the parents (when you are hosting a dinner, you have to be a total prick amongst your peers to receive a meal, be treated with respect and then talk SH%t about coaches / program)
PS - yikes! I KNOW what you are dealing with, and it ain't easy...more drama than it is worth at times and it can really take it out of you. Good luck - keep drinking
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barnone
Sophomore Member
Posts: 132
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Post by barnone on Oct 26, 2007 9:05:29 GMT -6
The thing about our school is it is a very small school in OKC.... Meaining we really don't have a community so to speak. We have a lot of transfer students. It is just really wierd here I don't really know how to explain it. Some of the community supports us, but some doesn't. Of course last year was a different story as we won a State Championship. The thing that helps us the most is we had a couple of kids go D1 and thier parents really support us, so they are often around.
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barnone
Sophomore Member
Posts: 132
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Post by barnone on Oct 26, 2007 9:07:00 GMT -6
We are not allowed to have sport specific booster club.
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barnone
Sophomore Member
Posts: 132
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Post by barnone on Oct 26, 2007 9:10:35 GMT -6
Also very few parents would be a part of it. They will not pay the dues or donate money. We have people that watch the game from the fence because they don't want to pay to get in. That is some of what we are dealing with.
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Post by coachcalande on Oct 26, 2007 9:27:30 GMT -6
heres an example of a coach using the parents to his advantage:
one time a coach got word of parents conspiring to get him fired. rumors started soon after (who started them?) that if the coach goes the program will fold. parents, and maybe even some of the same ones who wanted him ousted, fought to keep the coach. lol. small towns are great rumor mills.
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Post by brophy on Oct 26, 2007 9:31:47 GMT -6
Also very few parents would be a part of it. They will not pay the dues or donate money. We have people that watch the game from the fence because they don't want to pay to get in. That is some of what we are dealing with. yeah, I hear ya....but don't assume and sit on your hands. Appeal to the community leaders to support the community (your team). Of course, your team has to scratch their backs, too. Show up at functions, give free labor, etc.....but it develops community pride / community association that when people INVEST in something, they take ownership / responsibility for something. IF there is no support from the community and no wins on the field, why should folks support you? You can ask people to give you $50.....most people will reject you You can offer people a chance to get season passes.....it costs $50, you might get some takers You can give people an ad in the program, dinner for 2 every week at a team parent meeting, and a T-shirt......for a donation of $50. Its still $50, but WHAT'S IN IT FOR THEM? THAT is what influences people to spend CA$H. You don't have to have membership dues, just get ONE guy to be the booster treasurer......all he has to do is drum up support / donations / pledges....a guy that doesn't mind hearing "no" a lot. And call businesses, churches, foundations, just reach a hand out to provide an opportunity for people to invest in your program. I dunno....just a thought Honestly, how much do you really think it would cost to have a parent-picnic, where you grill some hot dogs and host a potluck? Just get the parents together, no pressure, and enjoy being a part of the team? You create a positive emotional connection with your program and what you're doing. #45 is now known as "Steve's Kid"....that 'dumbace coordinator' is now known as "Bob".....create a personal connection If you don't do it, the parents will do what they usually do.....gather in cliques and biotch.
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barnone
Sophomore Member
Posts: 132
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Post by barnone on Oct 26, 2007 9:54:28 GMT -6
Oh we are not sitting on our hands. We have tried several things. It just has not got off the ground. We have a locker room that is too small and falling down we have tried to drum up support from an Alum that is in the state legislature and other things, just doesn't work. We will still try though. Only thing that works around here is winning Championships, so we go back to work.
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Post by brophy on Oct 26, 2007 9:56:37 GMT -6
well good luck, man.
You are working three times as hard as most of us, and I appreciate what you're doing. Seriously. I know it ain't easy in those situations
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barnone
Sophomore Member
Posts: 132
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Post by barnone on Oct 26, 2007 10:02:51 GMT -6
Thanks for the support. You know it is one of those things. If it gets too bad I will leave and go elsewhere. Right now though I working with a HC that has a lot of trust in me. I am a DC, and doubt I would be if I left. And like I said I have some really good kids to work with.
Though do have an old HS coach down in Texas I gonna go see this summer and just see how they are doing things, wouldn't mind making a move to South of the Red, if I could talk the old lady into it.
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Post by brophy on Oct 26, 2007 10:16:29 GMT -6
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Post by falconoc on Oct 27, 2007 21:07:33 GMT -6
Guys its not as bad as Barnone makes it out to be.. I for one actually enjoy the death threats that I received while winning a STATE CHAMPIONSHIP, lol... WOW some of our parents are unbelieveable.. Hey Baker, its going to get Better.. Alvin has our back and hes gonna let the idiot parents have it.. He actually called me today and was very thankful for how we and you especially have treated BRI this year...
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Post by wildcat on Oct 28, 2007 7:22:14 GMT -6
put on a thick skin suit, dont listen to it, request that security speak to them if they are not observing limits /boundaries\ Bingo. Don't give these idiots the attention they crave. Honestly, I think that is why MOST people who act like this at games do it...it is not about trying to encorage the coaching staff to make changes. It is about making a spectacle of yourself and being the center of attention.
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Post by wildcat on Oct 28, 2007 7:29:07 GMT -6
1. Parent that was asked to not come back to game (for hollering racial laced insults from stands) Griped and wanted and appology from our AD. We get this one... "Hey, Coach...you are playing the wrong color out there...you need to get more brothers on the field!" That was from our starting FB's drunken dad. How profound!
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Post by wildcat on Oct 28, 2007 7:35:07 GMT -6
Also very few parents would be a part of it. They will not pay the dues or donate money. We have people that watch the game from the fence because they don't want to pay to get in. That is some of what we are dealing with. yeah, I hear ya....but don't assume and sit on your hands. Appeal to the community leaders to support the community (your team). Of course, your team has to scratch their backs, too. Show up at functions, give free labor, etc.....but it develops community pride / community association that when people INVEST in something, they take ownership / responsibility for something. IF there is no support from the community and no wins on the field, why should folks support you? You can ask people to give you $50.....most people will reject you You can offer people a chance to get season passes.....it costs $50, you might get some takers You can give people an ad in the program, dinner for 2 every week at a team parent meeting, and a T-shirt......for a donation of $50. Its still $50, but WHAT'S IN IT FOR THEM? THAT is what influences people to spend CA$H. You don't have to have membership dues, just get ONE guy to be the booster treasurer......all he has to do is drum up support / donations / pledges....a guy that doesn't mind hearing "no" a lot. And call businesses, churches, foundations, just reach a hand out to provide an opportunity for people to invest in your program. I dunno....just a thought Honestly, how much do you really think it would cost to have a parent-picnic, where you grill some hot dogs and host a potluck? Just get the parents together, no pressure, and enjoy being a part of the team? You create a positive emotional connection with your program and what you're doing. #45 is now known as "Steve's Kid"....that 'dumbace coordinator' is now known as "Bob".....create a personal connection If you don't do it, the parents will do what they usually do.....gather in cliques and biotch. Good post, Brophy. I think that what you will find is that MOST of the kids and parents are going to support the coaches...however, the support is usually going to be silent. All you are going to hear is the drunken buffoons. Give the "good" parents an outlet to support you publicly. They will drum out the idiots. The school I work at has about 60% of kids receiving free or reduced-cost lunches and the city has a long history of racial problems. With that being said, we have a very strong parent's group that is very supportive and really controls the handful of idiots.
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Post by cmow5 on Oct 28, 2007 12:06:36 GMT -6
Our HC is a CSI detective and we let the parents know he knows what a perfect murder scene looks like. lol.
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Post by falconoc on Oct 28, 2007 12:23:43 GMT -6
Guys this is how stupid it got last year.. On our State Championship team last eyar we had 2 Division 1 WRs. They are both at Texas Tech now, 1 is playing football and one just decided to run track. Our TE was 6'4'' 230 and ran a 4.6 he was heavily recruited by Texas A&M, Baylor, K-State and Michigan St. and is at NEO JUCO right now. Our 3rd WR runs track at a JUCO in Cali and he is a 10.4-10.5 100 kid... Ok so last year I have a dad that comes up to me and says hey coach why isnt my SOPH WR son playing in Varsity? And he was as serious as I have ever seen anyone. He goes on to tell me that his son was the best WR on the team and in OKC, now to be honest this kid is decent, a very good J.V. WR.. I look at the dad and say sir do I really have to answer that for you and he said hell yes you do. Then I explained to him about those 4 I just talked about and how if we took them off of the field then we would look like idiots, I also explained that we had about 3-4 other guys at the position that were not playing that was better than the kid.. It was an amazing conversation.. Ok now to this year.. The kid is a JR now and those 4 have graduated so he is getting some PT.. He is an average WR who catches decent at best and blocks pretty good. He at least gives effort. Well going into like the 6th game he had 1 catch or somthin like that. Well his dad tells him at home to stop blocking when he actually gets on the field.. He actually said in a film session that week that he wasnt going to block until he got the ball.. So basically after his whole team rips him and his dad we go out to practice and dont really think about it.. In our game that week we were down by a TD with abouyt 7 minutes left in the game and Our QB finds this kid WIDE OPEN in the END ZONE and the kid DROPS the ball with no one around him.. After the game the kids dad blames the DROP on the coaching staff, lol... I honestly love coaching at this school because week to week you never know what you are going to get, lol....
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Post by coachcoyote on Oct 28, 2007 22:42:13 GMT -6
Responsibility. Is that word in the lexicon of the teenager in today's world? Of course, there are some throw backs on every team, but Mom and Dad seem to find an excuse for anything where their child is not successful. Grades. It's the teacher's fault if the kid doesn't get an A. Tests too hard, don't understand the test, teacher doesn't like me, ... Did the kid ask for help? Was homework turned in on time? Was their time used judiciously? Did they spend too much time at the mall, playing Nintendo, watching tv? Of course it's someone else's fault. If parents would accept responsibility, perhaps the kids would learn a lesson. Can we as coaches teach that lesson? We can hold the athlete accountable for attendance at practice, have grade checks sent around to monitor grades, teach and reteach play responsibility. We are limited in what we can do, but we'll continue to do what we can, when we can, as often as we can. Hang in there guys. We even get to coach a little football every once in a while.
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barnone
Sophomore Member
Posts: 132
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Post by barnone on Nov 2, 2007 7:46:51 GMT -6
Just thought I would share with you something posted about me from a rivals site here. It was after I responded to him basically degrading our staff, espicially our HC and our program. I thought it was funny.
FALCONDC,OC WHATEVER YOU CALL YOURSELF...WHATEVER MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOUR HC AND THE STAFF...LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING, HAS HE BEEN A HC ANYWHERE ELSE BEFORE BECOMING HC AT MILLWOOD,NO AND I WONDER WHY...COULD IT BE BECAUSE OF THAT 3-27 RECORD...AND SINCE THATS A TOUGH PLACE TO WIN AT WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM NOW THE DISTRICT YOUR IN MUST BE SUPER TOUGH...NOT...AND NO, I DONT KEEP SAYING ACTIONS REFLECTS LEADERERSHIP AND THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HOME BUT IT HAS EVERTHINHG TO DO WITH YOUR COACHING SKILL...ONCE AGAIN THE WAY A TEAM PERFORMS REFLECTS LEADERSHIPAND COACHING SKILLS...NOW I SEE WHY THE D HAS PROBLEMS STOPPING TEAMS...MAYBE IF YOU STOP YELLING AND JUMPING UP AN DOWN AND THROWING YOUR HAT ON THE GROUND AND START TEACHING SOME TECHNIQUE THEN MAYBE YOU COULD STOP SOME TEAMS...
He is correct in the fact that we haven't been real good stopping people this year....
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