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Post by coachcompton on Jan 18, 2010 22:21:58 GMT -6
Hey everyone, I'm a 23 year old aspiring football coach currently enrolled in the UCF Sports and Fitness program specializing in Coaching Football (yes...at the University of Central Florida you can actually major in coaching football!)
A little psychological background...I am an only child from a small family, an introverted personality type; INTP to be specific. Public speaking hasn't been much of an issue for me before, mostly because when doing presentations you can prepare your statements. When I have time to prepare I can clearly communicate my thoughts, ideas, and beliefs through my writing; typically doing so exceptionally.
However, when it comes to speaking off the cuff sometimes I find trouble explaining my thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and philosophies to others (which would be a huge problem in this profession!). I think a lot of it has to do with the psychological background and being raised in a small family as an only child. Obviously people who are extroverted have a much easier time expressing their ideas verbally, as its their natural preference. As a kid I was always kind of reserved, not too social (still not too social now)…and I think it has hurt my verbal communication skills. I am by no means a bumbling idiot, I can usually communicate my ideas, but not to the degree, efficiency, or clarity that I can when writing.
Just watching someone like Coach Slack communicate his philosophies and beliefs to his players makes me see how much being a great communicator has a positive affect of players and makes me wonder how I can be more clear and impactful with expressing myself without having to physically write out my ideas. (I’ve been getting by with writing virtually everything out sort of as a crutch (memorizing my key points) so I don’t come off as unprepared due to lacking great communication skills...again as a coach theres enough preparation to do. Prehaps I'm just a better writer, because when writing you can go back and edit...which I frequently do)
I was wondering if I could get some advice from you experienced coaches on effective communication. When it comes to communicating/teaching/explaining your ideas verbally to others is it something that just comes with experience? Are there any particular resources that you have used to help you become a better communicator? Any techniques on explaining complex ideas clearly to others? Any suggestions for how to get the things that you know from your brain to out your mouth? I’d particularly love to hear from some coaches who communication wasn’t a natural, god given asset.
This is the wrong profession to get into if you can’t become an effective communicator and motivator, and I realize that it is a weak point with me so I want to improve my communication as MUCH as possible before I actually start coaching. Thank you all very much for your help and your time.
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Post by coachdennis on Jan 18, 2010 23:02:08 GMT -6
I think the best advice is to be yourself. Kids can spot phonies a mile away. My son had a hockey coach who loved to give these lengthy, rambling, "tough guy" speeches, full of yelling and the most shopworn cliches you ever heard. (Yeah, we have them in hockey also.) Do you think the room full of 13/14 year old boys respected him, or tuned him out? He had lost that room by Christmas. Even if you are naturally kind of a quiet guy, the kids will respect that - it takes all kinds of personalities to fill out a coaching staff, in my experience.
I had an offensive coach last season who, from the sounds of it, kind of matches your personality type. He was a quiet guy, not prone to loud outbursts or lengthy speeches, but the kids respected his knowledge and, more importantly, they knew he cared about them. He was terrific. We played off each other well - I tend to be the guy doing the non-stop chest bumps and cheerleading, cracking jokes, keeping the tempo up, while John did a lot of quiet teaching. He did what he did well, and I did what I do well.
Bottom line - you can be a VERY successful coach and communicator. You will be a different kind of coach and communicator from your garden variety coach, but personally I think that's kind of cool. Just go get started - if you love kids, and you love the game, it will work out just fine.
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Post by saintrad on Jan 18, 2010 23:52:37 GMT -6
Become a member of your local Toastmasters Club.
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Post by touchdownmaker on Jan 19, 2010 4:43:59 GMT -6
Confidence in your material and in your self will help you communicate. With experience you will have more confidence and better command of what you want to say.
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Post by dsqa on Jan 19, 2010 7:03:05 GMT -6
coachcompton, thank you for your very kind regards.
Great input so far coachdennis, saintrad, an touchdownmaker - just outstanding. I cannot improve on these posts above, but I just want to commend you coachcompton for your humility.
If there is one thing I regret in my coaching life, it was, and sadly still is, my pervasive lack of it. It isn't that I wish to project some double speak here to engender pity; I really sucked early on, and still visit "suckland" from time to time, because of arrogance and thinking I know so much - and what's even worse, my knowledge is what I thought mattered most.
You aren't taking that approach at all, and honestly, that is what will make you the better coach. There is a wise saying that "people don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care." It will be your passion to care for the players you are serving that will speak much louder through your actions and commitment to teach, than any speech you will ever give.
If I did it over again, I would arm myself, not with ideas and speeches, but ways to serve my players better - by finding creative teaching methods that produce real results, searching out all kinds of effective ways to put my players in a position to be successful, and then make sure I engaged one of the most important coaching techniques of all - correction slathered in encouragement.
Great coaching isn't about speeches and talk, it's about a willingness to endure the immaturity, arrogance, and rebellion of a teenaged young man who hasn't figured out yet that his greatest moments in sports and in life will not be when he wins or makes a great play, it will be when he learns to use what you taught him, to serve the guy next to him. The real victory in that investment you made, is when it happens that he does something great that is truly for another player with no regard for himself - that moment when he finally "gets it," and he looks at you and just smiles.
It won't be a speech that teaches him that, it will be your life.
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Post by jgordon1 on Jan 19, 2010 7:44:45 GMT -6
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Post by coachbw on Jan 19, 2010 10:38:15 GMT -6
I was in a similar spot to you a few years back. I would recommend the book "Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World." There is also a more recent book called "The Introverted Leader: Building on Your Quiet Strength" which you may want to look into, but I definitely think that the Introvert Advantage is a place to start.
Being an introvert has some huge advantages because you often internalize things so much that you are able to see the big picture and processes clearly. The biggest thing that I had to learn was that not everyone is like me and I had to step out of my comfort zone to get into their world. For example, I know if I am doing a good job or not at work. My boss stopping by to tell me that I am doing a good job is not at all important to me. I would actually probably be more annoyed that he was taking away time from other productive activities. However, many people (and extroverts especially) need to have that positive reinforcement form others. Knowing the traits of the personality types allowed me to know which areas I needed to focus on. Getting out of my office and talking to assistants, players, administrators daily - even if in the grand scheme it didn't have a "purpose" is huge. As one of the earlier posters commented, improving on your weaknesses is a really important thing to do, and I think you will find that learning about introvertedness to be very interesting.
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Post by mariner42 on Jan 19, 2010 11:35:09 GMT -6
I'll echo Saintrad, Toastmasters made my mom a wonderful public speaker. She wasn't bad by any means, but she's a VERY effective speaker in any situation, professional or personal.
I'm kinda the opposite from you in that I've always been the loud, fairly extroverted one. What I do know is that it gets easier with practice. Don't force it, just say what you're comfortable saying, but each time add a little bit more to it. When I first started coaching, I did my best to add a little bit more to each talk I gave, which made me seem kinda tight-lipped at first. I went from "Great day of practice, fellas" to "Guys, I'm really proud of the effort that you gave today and I want to thank you for working your butts off in this heat" to "Gentlemen, you did a great, great job against a very strong opponent. They're a heck of a team, but you've got to remember that you're only a loser if you allow yourself to be, winners just run out of time." I'm paraphrasing, but you get what I mean by just adding a little bit more each time.
Also, I'll second being yourself. Kids have incredible noses for BS, don't force something you aren't. Rather than worry about that, take comfort in it. They'll like whatever you are, just be it comfortably!
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Post by airman on Jan 19, 2010 17:33:43 GMT -6
great communicators are great listeners.
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Post by piratefootball on Jan 19, 2010 22:19:42 GMT -6
Developing relationships with your players is an important part of communicating with them. Seeing them in the hallway and saying hi or making small talk about something other than football is very important. They know you care and your words are more important to them because they know you care. That is communication and commanding your group or team.
Take note of your non-verbal cues. Ask someone if you come across timid, nervous or worse. Not sure you have to carry a huge personality to communicate effectively and carry your audience. I have heard clips of Bill Walsh and he was quiet as all can be but he comes across as so genuine. Additionally, I have an assistant that was VERY receptive to a suggestion I was making to him during the year but his non-verbal cues made me think that he was angry or indifferent to what I was saying. We have a great relationship and he is taking the head baseball job as well as being a football coach so I talked with him about his non-verbal cues a couple days ago. He was totally unaware of them. After our conversation, he went and asked a couple other coaches and they told him that his non-verbal communication skills made him difficult to approach at times.
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Post by steelbuns on Jan 21, 2010 10:12:46 GMT -6
Coachcompton, I could have written your post myself, same personality-type, same background, same problem. What I learned during the last year (my first year of coaching) was that mariner42 is so true and that you realize over the time that you not only develop your players but yourself. One of the reasons I started coaching was to grow and develop myself. Worked out pretty well so far, I'm currently taking classes to get a coaching license. I relaized one day that I started speaking freely in front of a group of 15 strangers, something that would have been impossible for me 2 years ago. My job requires me to give one or two presentations a year, I do them "ok" with thorough preparation, so you are better than me on this one  . What I try to do prior to practice and games is to mentally prepare for most of the things that could happen. Now as I write this i realize that I basically "daydream" a lot of situations I might get confronted with and think about what my reaction would/should be. That helped me a lot to overcome my nervousness. Thanks to everyone who responded, helped me a lot! I just hope my rambling makes sense, english is not my native language Cheers Marc |
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Post by coachcompton on Jan 21, 2010 17:06:00 GMT -6
Thanks to everyone for all of the great advice. I'm def. going to have to check out some of those books and Toastmasters seems like a great program to get you used to speaking of the fly.
I picked up a ton of other books from Larry Kings book on speaking, a Body Language book, Ron Johnson's Assert Yourself, Stephen Covey's Everyday Greatness, just trying to get my hands on any and all information possible to be the best coach, leader, and mentor I can be.
Also found an e-book version of Bill Walsh's "Finding the Winning Edge" I know a lot of coaches are interested in that book and was able to find it through an online library for free...NetLibrary.com (I think you have to find a library near you that offers the service though, but I'm not sure).
Thank you all again. I'm much more confident that years of experience will help tremendously in communicating and leading, as long as your pursue to constantly improve.
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Post by davecisar on Jan 22, 2010 6:01:06 GMT -6
People that go far in business and coaching dont always have the best technical knowledge. Ive seen so many average people go very far because they communicate well. Per the very good posts above, because they listen, care and get people to buy in and believe in them.
All the books suggested are great, but there is NO better way to become a better communicator than actually getting dirty and doing it via toastmasters. I bet you can find a mentor there. Toastmasters isnt all about making speeches, it is about connecting and communicating with people AND seeing how other accomplished communicators do it. Very well worth your time. Books are great, doing it and applying it is very important. Toastmasters has groups everywhere.
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Coach Unk
Junior Member
[F4:coachdonjones]
Posts: 392
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Post by Coach Unk on Jan 22, 2010 8:40:24 GMT -6
It has already been said but I will say it again. Be yourself at all times. Some guys yell, some are quiet. Some guys are a combo but the kids will respect you if you so long as you put in the work and know what your talking about.
Personally I try to get the "feel" of my guys and try to communicate what I think they need at that time. Sometimes a rah rah speech is needed, sometimes not. Sometimes they need a kick in the pants or a pat on the back. Some of my guys learn by doing, some by seeing and others by talking. Whatever works, I will do.
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Post by brophy on Jan 22, 2010 9:05:56 GMT -6
don't overvalue the PROJECTION ('sales pitch') pathway.
Most overlooked step of communication - "shut up and listen".
Be able to hear what/where the other person is thinking/feeling/understanding. More and more I'm finding that this has become an extraordinary skill, not common.
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Post by jlenwood on Jan 23, 2010 8:15:49 GMT -6
Being a great communicator is no different in coaching than it is in any other aspect of your life. Whether you are trying to talk to a group of Mountian Dew jacked up teenagers, or a board room full of old men at a business presentation. You need to put together a proccess that works for you.
Dont get overwhelmed thinking about the public speaking part of the profession, everybody gets nervous about that. Instead focus on building your foundation of knowledge and skills to be able to speak intelligently to who ever it is you must address. As some of the posters on here have already pointed out, kids are a great detector of BS.
One of the biggest mistakes I see young coaches make is that they try to be someone else. Maybe they think that you need t be hardass to be a coach and get your point accross. There is a coach on our staff like that. Well guess what, the kids not only don't like him, they don't RESPECT him. You have to be yourself. I am not syaing that you have to be all touchy-feely. I have been know to have veins sticking out of my neck on occasion, but when it happens, the players know that I am trying to get a point accross and they listen and learn from it
Get over trying to be like someone else...you have to be true to who you are. Once that the kids understand that you are there not for yourself, but for them, they will listen to and respect whatever it is you are trying to get accross to them.
Read the book "A Season of Life". This is a tremendous book on caring for your kids and the program you are a part of. Once you have that part of it down, everything else will fall into place.
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Post by lukethadrifter on Jan 23, 2010 10:40:01 GMT -6
#1, you need to know what you are talking about inside and out. The better you know your material, the more confidence you will have in your delivery. Body language is key as well. Don't be the type of coach/teacher that stands there disinterested, acting like you would rather be somewhere else; or teaching/coaching with your hands in your pockets. Do it with enthusiasm! This will rub off on kids. Most kids emulate their coach in a lot of ways. Being organized helps your communication, because there is no wasted time where kids' minds can wander. Huey brings up a great point that some of us do naturally. Constantly read what your players are feeling and thinking, and find the right buttons to push to get them to work and have a good attitude. Some players respond to a coach getting after their tail while others will shut down with that type of coaching. Lots and lots of psychology involved. Experience communicating, and making mistakes as a young coach, will end up being your greatest teacher.
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Post by coachcb on Jan 23, 2010 11:26:09 GMT -6
The only thing that I add to the above advice is this; be positive when communicating to players. Be aware of your body language and your tone of voice.
I coach under the best communicator I have ever been around. We took a bad loss this last year; lost to a team we had beaten for over a decade straight. This put us in a bad situation; we had to beat the eventual state champion and a cross-town rival in order to advance to the playoffs.
He was very calm and positive with the kids when we got back to the school; he talked to the kids about accepting the challenge ahead and hitting it head on. He focused on working hard at practice and making the playoffs as fuel for that hard work.
He never got angry with the kids; his tone was at neutral, at it's worst. He replaced his anger with simple honesty; he told the kids that he knew most of them would accept the challenge, become better players and better young men for it. But, he also emphasized that if there were players that wouldn't accept the challenge, that they needed to refocus on not only playing football, but life as well.
Another point I can make; don't beat a dead horse and set a good initial tone. The players knew that the loss was terrible; it put us in a bad situation. We were looking at missing the playoffs for the first time in a long time. But, the HC never talked about that; the kids knew it, he knew it, WE ALL KNEW IT. If he had started off that conversation by stating that we were looking as missing the playoffs, it would've set a bad tone for the rest of the conversation. Kids were already shaken up, several of them were in tears.. Why make that worse?
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