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Post by IronmanFootball on Oct 14, 2009 17:15:33 GMT -6
"Hey coach, this game is much harder to play than to watch on tv" (+1: his knee pads were on his hips)
"Hey coach, the depth chart says i'm a 2... should I still come to the game?"
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Post by tripleoption61 on Oct 14, 2009 17:33:18 GMT -6
"What do I do once I catch the ball?"
"Should I have caught that ball?"
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Post by wolfden12 on Oct 14, 2009 18:05:30 GMT -6
How long is the game?
Do you always have to where a cup?
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kahok
Sophomore Member
Posts: 106
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Post by kahok on Oct 14, 2009 19:00:50 GMT -6
Not a quote but,
Last week (week 7) during freshmen practice we ran a rocket screen and our O-tackle who has started all year (has no "sports" sense) CRUSHED the reciever after he caught it and came up celebrating.
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Post by Yash on Oct 14, 2009 20:12:13 GMT -6
Our secondary coach,
"So what are the rules on who is eligible to catch passes"
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Post by lionhart on Oct 14, 2009 20:36:48 GMT -6
kahok and yash.... absolutely HYSTERICAL comments! thanks for sharing, i needed that laugh. just so that you guys dont think youre alone...... after a defensive practice where we had a 265 lb 3rd string tackle playing scout team DE and simulating a zone blitz which our opponents run, he asked me "Coach, whats the name of that play we run where i drop back into coverage?"
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Post by lionhart on Oct 14, 2009 20:37:38 GMT -6
sorry, it was an OFFENSIVE practice, he was playing scout D
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Post by Yash on Oct 14, 2009 20:55:45 GMT -6
Earlier this season the defensive staff was figuring out coverages and how to cover a certain formation and they had basically a formation which had a TE covered up by a WR on one side with another guy in the slot and then 2 RB in the backfield. They were arguing over who had 4th threat to that side or something. I watched them for a bit, as all 4 of them argued over it, then finally i said, look you guys are trying to cover a guy who can't catch a pass. They said oh well drop the TE off the line of scrimmage. I said, fine, now we get 5 yards because its an illegal formation, they don't have 7 on the line. so they messed around trying to get the formation they wanted until they realized that they didn't have to defend the formation they were thinking of because the TE was ineligible. I understand why our kids struggle on defense when some of the coaches aren't even sure of the rules.
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Post by lionhart on Oct 14, 2009 21:01:41 GMT -6
i know exactly the formation of which you speak. our DC refers to it as an "unbalanced" set since the TE is covered and there are no WR to the other side of the formation. our ids rep it and will make an automatic check to our unbalanced defensive set. who covers the TE?....hahahahahahaha
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coachriley
Junior Member
"Tough times don't last; Tough people do."
Posts: 406
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Post by coachriley on Oct 14, 2009 21:26:18 GMT -6
This is youth, so you gotta have patience haha.
At halftime, "hey coach, who won that half" or "have we scored yet?"
Also, when we call a timeout or its the end of the quarter, "hey coach is the game over now?" when we had only played the first quarter.
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coachriley
Junior Member
"Tough times don't last; Tough people do."
Posts: 406
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Post by coachriley on Oct 14, 2009 21:27:38 GMT -6
This is youth, so you gotta have patience haha.
At halftime, "hey coach, who won that half" or "have we scored yet?"
Also, when we call a timeout or its the end of the quarter, "hey coach is the game over now?" when we had only played the first quarter.
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Post by rbush on Oct 14, 2009 21:40:44 GMT -6
We've been working Cover One this week, not something we've been doing much of. So today I make a pretty basic call - Inside Bull 1. Our backer echos it, Inside Bull 1. Our starting senior nose guard looks at the rest of the D and goes "Alright guys, did everyone hear that? It's on ONE!" I thought one of your sophmore DB's was going to die laughing. Him and the two coaches listening while I tried to explain that the defense does not, in fact, have a snap count.
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Post by cc on Oct 14, 2009 23:10:39 GMT -6
OH Rbush thats classic thank you!
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Post by coachorr on Oct 14, 2009 23:30:21 GMT -6
"You gotta stand up for yourselves,
If they knock your quarterback down,
You gotta go out and knock down two of theirs.
If they score a TD,
You gotta score one right back and getta stop.
If they light a bag of dog crap on you front step,
You go and burn their house down."
This one is an instant classic:
DC, "Cody, what happened? You have the D gap."
Cody, "Coach, I got my a$$ kicked."
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Post by formrbcbuc on Oct 15, 2009 0:52:46 GMT -6
Me: "___X___ you're inelligible, so you can't play in this week's game!"
x: "Cool!... Does this mean I till have to come to practice"
Me: "_Y_ why didn't you make the tackle?!? He was right in front of you, all you had to do was make contact, wrap and run your feet."
Y: "well coach at the last minute he moved away from me instead of coming at me, also I had gel in my eye from sweat and I feel like I'm gonna throw up!... So am I gonna stat this week?!?!?!"
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tedseay
Sophomore Member
Posts: 164
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Post by tedseay on Oct 15, 2009 1:57:53 GMT -6
Not team related, but still classic:
"How did I become a college football fan? How did I become a heterosexual?"
-- James Carville
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diesal
Freshmen Member
Posts: 15
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Post by diesal on Oct 15, 2009 7:09:35 GMT -6
After a win I said "Enjoy this win tonight but tomorrow we start with *&^%".
Senior, in front of everyone, says "do we play them here or there tomorrow?"
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Post by blb on Oct 15, 2009 7:15:02 GMT -6
"Coach, is Homecoming home or away this year?"
This happened in freshman game last night.
Coach (sending in play with WR): "Con 79!"
Kid: "On what?"
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Post by touchdownmaker on Oct 15, 2009 7:20:08 GMT -6
After giving up like 9 tds in our last game, we finally score...like a broken record I say "kickoff return team"
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Post by mariner42 on Oct 15, 2009 7:28:39 GMT -6
3rd string weak safety during 7s this summer: "Coach, I was looking at the QB the whole time but he didn't throw me the ball!"
Also, we have a kid named Hunter who's our kicker/punter. I'm not going to repeat it, but let's just say that a certain sleep-deprived DC may have inadvertently rearranged some letters of "Hunter the kicker/punter" into a new, unfortunate nickname.
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kahok
Sophomore Member
Posts: 106
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Post by kahok on Oct 15, 2009 8:55:34 GMT -6
I could literally post in this thread for hours. In fact I might just drop tidbits all day. I swear everything is true.
Halftime of Frosh game last Saturday, we are down 32-8 due to awful tackling. Other team has a big strong butt kicking running back. We hit him in the backfield nearly every play but he still runs for 10 yards a play. At halftime walking into the locker room myself (Frosh and JV OC) and our head frosh coach are trailing behind. Our line coach gets into the locker room along with our RB/LB coach. All of a sudden we just hear one of them going absolutely insane, screaming and yelling about toughness and desire. The RB/LB coach comes out of the locker room and tells us we have to go in and see this. Just before the halftime tirade, the line coach tried to unzip his jacket and rip it off to throw it on the ground. He couldn't get it unzipped so he just pulled it over his head and slammed it to the ground. In the process his shirt came with the jacket, so he is standing there trying to fire up the kids, completely shirtless. To top it off, in the process of taking the jacket off, he cut himself in the nose with the zipper and started bleeding a TON. So he is screaming shirtless and his mouth and chin are covered in blood like he just bit into a live animal.
Maybe the top moment of my coaching career.
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Post by rcole on Oct 15, 2009 9:05:25 GMT -6
Some of these have been absolutely hilarious. Man do we need some levity as we get deeper into the grind. Keep'em coming...I've got some I'll dig up from my memory and get up for the greater good. Kahok, that is hilarious and reminds me of one of my all time favorite threads - the Worst Speech Ever - thread. www.coachhuey.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=5449&page=1 |
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Post by darebelcoach on Oct 15, 2009 9:13:24 GMT -6
Varsity homecoming game last Satruday....we are scoring at will, we just socre a touchdown in the 2nd quarter to go up 20-0 and I call out "PAT team, we are going for 1" Now, one of our backup OL/DL who is on PAT starts running out to the field, then stops and runs back towards the sideline...I asked him what the hell he was doing and he replies "We are punting, I am not on punt" I didn't know whether to laugh or punch him in the face!!
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Post by coachorr on Oct 15, 2009 9:32:16 GMT -6
Every single play on scout team.
Scout team Offense is going to be the death of me.
"So, coach where do I go?"
Me yesterday: "Read the Freaking Card!"
Another one:
Me yesterday: "Ricky look at the card, you were supposed to run a speed out."
Ricky: "I did".
Me; "No you ran straight down the field (as I draw with my finger a fade on the card)".
Ricky: "I turn around".
Another one:
Me: "You were supposed to run a fade"
Player: "He (the db) wouldn't let me."
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lrader
Sophomore Member
Posts: 143
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Post by lrader on Oct 15, 2009 9:37:19 GMT -6
We're into week 7 of the season and a linebackers comes to me in a JV game and says, "Coach, i think i finally have this figured out. Sam is on the strong side b/c it starts with S, and will starts with a W, so he is on the Weak side. But where did Mike come from?"
Before a game, our 6'5" 300 pound offensive/defensive tackle is trying to get everyone on the sideline pumped, and yells out, "gosh dang it, i'm going to knock someone up tonight." I just put a hand on his shoulder and told him, "just make sure you wrap up son".
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Post by jpdaley25 on Oct 15, 2009 9:41:26 GMT -6
Me:Why didn't you hit the hole son?
Kid: It was full of linemen.
Me:I Know. They were your blockers.
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kahok
Sophomore Member
Posts: 106
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Post by kahok on Oct 15, 2009 9:44:33 GMT -6
Love the "knock someone up tonight" line. Out senior noseguard and captain had this to say in practice. The DC was telling the line they needed to get penetration to disrupt the offense so our captain comes up with "yea boys, we are gonna penetrate them all night long, there gonna be loose like a porn star". Then he kept doing hip thrusts at the scout team.
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Post by Block_n_Tackle on Oct 15, 2009 10:16:44 GMT -6
Youth league
My 9-10 YO team scrimmaging the 11-12 YO team.
Towards the end I'm trying to make sure everyone got in and I see one of my Minimum Play players who hasn't been in the whole time.
I say "Hey Brendan, you wanna get in for a couple plays?"
He says "no thank's coach, I'm kinda sweaty"
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Post by wingtol on Oct 15, 2009 16:43:52 GMT -6
Had practice Monday when there was no school, needless to say a Frosh OL who is a soup sandwich is a no show.
Warming up on Tues and the player runs by the HC. HC yells "where were you yesterday!" Kid reply's with a straight face "My grandmas." and runs right by HC. I say to HC "I don't think he understood the question"
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Post by IronmanFootball on Oct 15, 2009 18:53:32 GMT -6
I say "Hey Brendan, you wanna get in for a couple plays?"
He says "no thank's coach, I'm kinda sweaty"
I'm gonna use that one next time a fat chick hits on me at a bar!
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