sin86
Sophomore Member
Posts: 111
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Post by sin86 on Aug 6, 2009 22:38:46 GMT -6
Middle School Program - 1st year head coach Head Coach
I got a phone call this afternoon after practice from a dad who was upset that his kid felt like "he was getting shafted". The situation is that the kid wants to play wing in our wing-t offense but the kid is really not athletic enough, he fumbles a lot, and he cannot remember the plays. I have two really athletic wings and a stud at fullback. My numbers have doubled from last years under the old headcoach. We have about 45 kids and about twenty are capable of starting. This kid unfortunately is not in that top twenty and I explained this to his dad, without talking about other kids. He said the only reason that I am playing my leftwing is because his dad is well known. Not said by non athlete dad, but a fact my left wing's dad played D1 football and coached at that level, he sends his kids to camps all over the country, he is constantly on their tail to get better, and the apple don't fall far from the tree.
My solution to the problem was to put kids in pods, so that when I call for a certain offensive pod, I would only run plays that pod was capable of running. For instance this nonathletic kid would be in the jet pod. This pod would only run jet, trap, and waggle. The kid would be the motion back and would block back side on waggle, run motion and fake on trap, and to run the jet which he has had some success with. This also allows me to have really good blocking to the side he is running and to limit the amount of plays he has to learn.
Unfortunately, the dad did not like my solution and we are now scheduling a meeting to discuss playing time. I cannot give the kid any significant playing time or I feel we will be at a disadvantage, but I am trying to keep anyone from quitting and leaving with a negative attitude. I don't have to keep anyone and my administration trusts me and will support whatever decision I make.
I know you guys deal with the same problems just looking for suggestions?
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Post by cyflcoach on Aug 6, 2009 22:53:11 GMT -6
Try to find a role for every kid on your team and do your best to make them feel important playing whatever role it is that your team needs. I personally will talk to parents about just about any subject except, what position their son plays. I will discuss that with the player, but not his parents. There are 11 positions on both sides of the ball and the great thing about the game is the fact that they all matter! Only a few of those 11 will ever touch the ball but it does not in any way minimize the importance of those that don't. That's why football is the greatest team sport ever devised.
Good luck coach.
Dave Hartman CYFL Coach
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Post by coachdoug on Aug 7, 2009 0:34:47 GMT -6
Don't get too caught up in justifying yourself to the parents. You didn't say if you had a pre-season parents meeting, but that is the time to address how you assign positions and determine playing time. You should tell them at that time that you'll always be happy to discuss their child's status on the team and how he's coming along with the parent, but you will not justify the position you place him at or his playing time. Those decisions are what you've been hired to make, and not everyone is going to like them, but they are your decisions and they will be final.
Tell them that you'll be happy to tell them what their son has to do to improve to get more playing time. And make sure you stress that if the parent complains or critisizes the coach to the player, he is doing a major disservice to the player by teaching him to make excuses and develop an attitude of entitlement. The parents should take the adversity and turn it into an opportunity to teach their child a lesson about goal setting, overcoming adversity and developing good work habits to improve.
Under no circumstances should you even consider for a second changing Junior's position or give him any more playing time until he earns it.
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Post by utchuckd on Aug 7, 2009 7:08:11 GMT -6
Don't make a decision to appease the parent. What happens when the next one calls, and the next one, etc... Set the example now. Don't be a jerk about it, do like the other guys have said, but don't let him make decisions for your team.
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Post by davecisar on Aug 7, 2009 7:15:50 GMT -6
I would let the parent know what the player has to do to get better, pull no punches. Some things like explosiveness and athletic development will not be overcome in the next 8 weeks.
But any team is a team and we start the kids that give us the best chance as a unit to compete. Those that don't fit into that first unit, we figure out ways to get them on the field, but for less time than the kids that have earned first team status. If you make any concessions or guarantees most likely the demands just become greater.
As usual most of these issues become moot if you set expectations before the first practice. One of the things I talk about in that meeting is "I will not discuss playing time (beyond minimum plays) or positions with anyone, football is a team sport and we will always do what is best for our team. That means putting all players in positions that most help the team within the framework of that player being well suited to perform the techniques for his assigned position.
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Post by justmister on Aug 9, 2009 18:52:16 GMT -6
Now if you are in school district that doesn't keep score, keep track of wins or losses or doesn't evealuate Caoches performances on an annual basis....DAD IS RIGHT.
If none of those apply, your first responsibility is to the kids, then to the school. Our org has parents sign a form at registration informing them that playing time is not guaranteed.
That being said, my first response to Dad, is to come to practice everyday to see for himself why Lil' Johnny is at the bottom of the depth chart. Now it is up to you and your position coaches to give Lil' Johnny all of the instruction and oppourtunity to succeed, if he is not one of the best 11, then so be it. It is not your fault that he is on a team with kids that have better abilities than him. As long as you are giving adequate instruction and oppourtunity, you have no reason to have to justify yourself to any parent. The cream usually rises to the top, and with proper instruction the diamonds in the rough usually shine. It is what it is, and if Dad is true to himself and his son, he will see at practice why his sons playing time is limited.
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Post by coachdoug on Aug 10, 2009 0:57:38 GMT -6
Justmister, I get your point, but even in the first scenario, I don't think Dad is right. Just because a team/org doesn't keep score or track wins or eval coaches doesn't mean that the coach should hand out playing team that hasn't been earned. Doing so would be unfair to those kids that have earned it.
As far as inviting Dad to practice - be careful with that. I've had that backfire on me in the past. If Dad is delusional enough to initiate this kind of discussion in the first place, he may also be the kind of guy that will blame everyone else for every mistake his kid makes in practice, say his kid isn't getting enough reps with the first team, focus solely on the handful of things his kid did correctly while ignoring the 100s of things he did wrong, etc. etc.
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sin86
Sophomore Member
Posts: 111
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Post by sin86 on Aug 10, 2009 22:07:32 GMT -6
Guys, thanks for the advice. Everything seems to be working out for the best. I talked to the player one on one and I think the player now understands why he is not starting. The dad ended up calling the superintendant and complaining, but was told that I make all playing time decisions and that he could either have his son work harder or remove him from the team. Super even told him that he has never met a coach that would play someone because of a family name. Now, all I have to do is prove that I am a coach.
Thanks for the advice I have learned a lesson and I will make sure all of these facts are spelled out clearly next year
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Post by touchdownmaker on Aug 11, 2009 13:44:19 GMT -6
without reading all of the above, its pretty well understood that any coach should not discuss:
1) philosophy 2) playing time 3) other kids
what I mean by that is, cover it once in parent meeting and be done with it. if someone misses parent meeting too bad.
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shawnm
Freshmen Member
Posts: 99
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Post by shawnm on Aug 14, 2009 17:39:58 GMT -6
Boy this topic hits a home run.
Had this happen yesterday. We just finished our 3rd practice the other night, which by the way was the end of our initial evaluation process.
Anyway had a player who showed up for the first time at our 3rd practice. He couldn't make it the first two because in Little League Tourney. I really know nothing about the kid other than he is the 5th fastest kid on our team and lanky so I had him working with the possible centers at 3rd practice.
The next day I get a call from his dad. He didn't like the fact I had him initially assigned to Center and that his kid has been in 4 or 5 QB / RB camps this summer and needs to play QB. He missed the parents meeting so I told him we will put him where he will help the team the most but just don't know much about him. I told him he could work with the backs at next practice just to see what he can do but at this stage I can't make any promises. I probably shouldn't have even gone that far after reading this thread. He has now requested that his boy get an opportunity to go through our evaluation process and also wanted to bet me $100 that he was faster than 5th. I told him we don't have time to do that and we'll just have to evaluate on the fly. I'm sure they'll be more to come. I might have to take him up on that $100 bet.
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coachriley
Junior Member
"Tough times don't last; Tough people do."
Posts: 406
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Post by coachriley on Aug 17, 2009 23:28:16 GMT -6
That is good that the Super sided with you on the issue. I am a head coach this season for a youth team, so I am gonna store all of these tips in the front of my mind.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2009 6:07:53 GMT -6
Coach, play who YOU think should play, the greatest piece of advice I've ever been given was to forget trying to please everybody. There's always going to be someone who isn't happy...it's the nature of the game.
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Post by spreadem on Aug 25, 2009 13:37:15 GMT -6
Trying to please everyone is a sure fire way to please no one
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Post by coachmsl on Aug 30, 2009 12:24:52 GMT -6
Trying to please everyone is a sure fire way to please no one I have a boy that has been on my team for 4 seasons now. He has been small, fast and shifty and has been a mainstay on offense getting tons of touches. This year (4th Grade) he has not grown and in practice and scrimmages has been gettin banged up. He plays competitive soccer in conjunction with football. Mom and dad are very intense, too intense. I got a message from mom last week that his shoulder and ankle were bothering him. Called to talk to her about this a couple of days later and she said he was icing down his back after soccer practice. He had just missed our Offensive practice for soccer. Shoulder, Ankle, now back??? So, first game comes around and i put him at wide reciever and cornerback. He played 70% of snaps, and kicked off. He had 2 catches. Not bad. After the game, mom dad kid and grandpa all come up and want to know what he can do to be "more a part of the Offense". Kinda caught me off guard. I should have said "we just won 49-0. wha..wha..WHAT??? Plus you're calling telling me he is beat up? You guys are pushing this kid too hard. Lighten up." Instead i was nice and tried to explain the team thing. Some parents are CRAZY. I feel ya sin86.
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Post by tsnk4040 on Sept 1, 2009 5:49:51 GMT -6
Do parent have the right to complain? Not about a position, but playing time.
As a parent of a youth player I teach my son about responsibilty to the team first. Always give 100% effort, be on-time to practice and always respect your coaches.
My issue comes with palying time when others parents/players do not follow team rules, miss practice or late and get more playing time. Most of the time it is "Daddy Ball"
Remember, this is youth ball and 70% of these kids will not even play HS ball. Reward kids who work hard with playing time, just like in life.
Do parents ever have the right to complain?
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redbug
Sophomore Member
Posts: 188
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Post by redbug on Sept 2, 2009 11:15:00 GMT -6
I have seen great football players. I have seen great athletes. Quite Frankly your son is neither. Now get out of my office before I pick my ?(age)? year old butt up out of this seat and throw you out.
This was supposedly a quote from Red Parker to a parent asking why their son was not playing. My mom told me the story but she tends to exaggerate a bit from time to time.
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Post by davecisar on Sept 3, 2009 18:19:55 GMT -6
Do parent have the right to complain? Not about a position, but playing time. As a parent of a youth player I teach my son about responsibilty to the team first. Always give 100% effort, be on-time to practice and always respect your coaches. My issue comes with palying time when others parents/players do not follow team rules, miss practice or late and get more playing time. Most of the time it is "Daddy Ball" Remember, this is youth ball and 70% of these kids will not even play HS ball. Reward kids who work hard with playing time, just like in life. Do parents ever have the right to complain? Our playing time is based on ability and effort as well as meeting team guidelines that are written out in great detail and explained. While there certainly is favortism in youth football, of the 17 years Ive coached, Ive only coached my own 4 years and he always was at the bottom of the totem pole. You may not be privy nor should you of special circumstances. We had a player studying for a Baptism program, only time it was offerend was 3 nights we are practicing. He is going to that, Im making sure it is a priority over football. I had another kid that missed 1 day per week because of prison visitation for his dad. HAd another going to counseling with his mom. Im not disclosing any of that to anyone. Coaches shouldnt have to have to explain the private circumstances of other players. If you feel he isnt being fair, either coach or take him elsewhere.
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Post by tsnk4040 on Sept 5, 2009 8:38:35 GMT -6
I agree and understand about special circumstances about not making practice. You are right coaches should not share that info with other parents, but trust me their parents share it with other parents and everyone knows.
My son is having a great time this year and likes all his coaches. I was just curious if a parent ever has a valid reason to complain. I am not talking about the parent who thinks their kid is a stud and just likes to complain about everything. They are just as bad as a daddy ball coach.
When you told me 70% of youth football players will not play in HS it made me think how important it was to make sure those 70% have a positive youth football experience and that starts with a great coach who teaches the game and makes it fun.
Dave: I agree with your coaching philosophy 100% and hope you are the rule and not the exception in youth football. I would love for my son to play on your team. FYI... I did live in Omaha from 94-97.
Thanks!
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