Post by tog on Feb 2, 2009 20:24:59 GMT -6
www.katytimes.com/articles/2009/02/02/sports/doc49866c6f2bd56826607274.txt
Parents out of bounds; respect for coaches waning
Published:
Sunday, February 1, 2009 10:02 PM CST
Commentary By Scott Kaiser
Times Sports Writer
par~ent (par'ent) n. 1. A father or mother; 2. Any organism in relation to its offspring; 3. A source; origin. Definition from the Second College Edition of Webster's New World Dictionary
coach (koch) n. 2. (a) A private tutor; (b) one who instructs or trains a performer or a team of performers; (c) One who instructs players in the fundamentals of a competitive sport and directs team strategy. Definition from Webster's Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary
You will notice in the above definitions that parent and coach are not related. However, it appears that more of the former think they know more than the latter, and aren't afraid to cross that line.
Example No. 1: At last Friday's Cinco Ranch-Mayde Creek girls' basketball game, the Lady Cougars posted an impressive 21-point road victory to remain in a first-place tie with Taylor in the District 17-5A race. This was a huge road win against a Lady Rams' squad that lost at the buzzer to the Lady Mustangs just three nights earlier. It was also Cinco Ranch's 56th win its last 57 district games, one of the most impressive streaks in the history of Texas high school sports.
After the game, I had just asked Lady Cougars coach Eric Bartlett about the victory when a gentlemen stopped in front of us and said, I'm embarrassed to be part of this program.
I want to re-emphasize that this comment, which left both of us dumbfounded, came after a 21-point road victory by the four-time defending district champions. Here are some of the other gaudy numbers posted by the Cinco Ranch girls' basketball program:
** A record of 152-55 in the last six-plus seasons;
** Playoff qualifiers the last six years, including four straight trips to the regional quarterfinals before advancing to the Region III finals last season;
** A district-winning streak of 54 games over four-plus seasons;
** A 17-13 record this season, with 12 of those losses having come against programs with a combined 243-71 record. Eight of those teams have already won 20 or more games;
** Led by a coach who has won 462 games in his 22-plus seasons.
Boy, I bet Coach Bartlett tosses and turns every night in bed thinking about how embarrassing his program is.
Example No. 2: A veteran coach recently told me that one of his former players had considered getting into high school coaching, but said, I don't think I can take the criticism. I'm not tough enough.
Example No. 3: The constant ringing tune of Play a different quarterback! shouted from the Morton Ranch stands during the majority of the 2007 football season. I'm sure that was pleasant for the quarterback who was playing.
Example No. 4 through infinity: Time-wasting, mind-numbing meetings with parents who aren't happy with their child's playing time.
Now, understand that I come at this from three different angles: parent of a teenager, a former high school coach, and a sports writer.
As a parent whose child played basketball as a freshman and has been in the tennis program at Cy-Fair High School for three years, it is tough to watch her play. It ached at times when she didn't get to play as a freshman because I love my daughter. I am selfish and am extremely protective of her well-being. We all want our children to play the entire game, succeed, and be champions.
This is unrealistic. It is Fantasy Land, spurred by our changing society.
High school sports is not Fun-Fair-Positive-Soccer. FFPS is a great program for youngsters, but playing high school sports prepares teenagers for life. Life is not always fun, it's hardly ever fair, and you're never going to live a day without someone being negative about something.
So, how do I best love my daughter? By letting her experience all aspects of high school sports, the good times and the rough times. By letting her learn to deal with adults, i.e. the coach, if she has a question or is discouraged. If I start fighting her battles now, what will she do in college and once she has a job? Will she expect me to call her professor or boss when she has a problem or dilemma? Even worse, will she expect me to go over the head of her direct supervisor/teacher/coach to the athletic coordinator/principal/dean/CEO, without first privately following the chain of command?
Although my daughter has rarely complained about anything in athletics, when she does, her mother and I say, Talk to the Coach. Rather than fighting these battles for her, I stand deep in the bleachers or far away from the court and mumble about strategy or coaching techniques, but I keep them to myself.
As a former high school coach, albeit for only three years, I agonized over lineups and trying to get everyone into a match. In tennis things are more cut and dried because we have a challenge ladder and you can prove one-on-one who best deserves a certain spot, but I can promise you that the No. 1 dilemma, and there isn't a close second, for all coaches is how to decide playing time.
No coach, repeat, NO COACH!!! goes into a match or game thinking, Boy, I'm not going to play so-and-so just to upset him/her. Deciding who does or does not play, or how long someone plays, is not based on malice. It's done after watching hours of practice and games, watching tape, and scouting opponents. Varsity coaches have to decide on what lineup can best help them win on that night, not on stroking the egos of the players (or sometimes, the parents).
As a sports writer, one who wrote his first story for a professional paper in 1976, I have seen a disintegration of the team (Together Everyone Accomplishes More!). Instead of having a team of players, you have individuals who play for a team. Encouraged by greedy club coaches and sometimes-misguided parents who have forked out thousands of dollars to chase that not-inevitable scholarship, high school coaches have become targets with large red circles on their backs.
These coaches, who, by the way, are first and foremost classroom teachers, go to clinics, study tapes until all hours of the morning, or go scouting when they could be home with their families, but somehow that doesn't make them as qualified as those of us who sit in the stands.
Do you not see their bloodshot eyes late in a season? Do you not see them when they are at the hospital with an injured player at 3 a.m., then head to 6 a.m. practice? Do you not see them representing our schools and our children with humility and grace? Do you not see how much they LOVE children?
Trust me, it's easy to be a coach from the stands. I do it every time I cover a game, but that doesn't mean I'm qualified to do so from the field or the bench. Like any sports writer, there's not a coach alive who hasn't questioned the strategy of a fellow coach, but you're not hearing them yell it from the stands or calling the principal the next morning because Johnny or Julie didn't play.
Winning at all costs or being a breeding ground for college programs is not the ultimate goal of a high school sports program. It's about teaching kids about academic and behavioral responsibility, and sacrificing the goals of the individual for the betterment of the team.
I'd say probably 90 percent of the parents understand this; it's the 10 percent who make coaches dread answering the phone or looking at their emails.
Friends, our coaches deserve better. Before shouting that slur or making that call or sending an email, please look in the mirror and ask yourself, Is this about the TEAM, or this about ME?
Parents out of bounds; respect for coaches waning
Published:
Sunday, February 1, 2009 10:02 PM CST
Commentary By Scott Kaiser
Times Sports Writer
par~ent (par'ent) n. 1. A father or mother; 2. Any organism in relation to its offspring; 3. A source; origin. Definition from the Second College Edition of Webster's New World Dictionary
coach (koch) n. 2. (a) A private tutor; (b) one who instructs or trains a performer or a team of performers; (c) One who instructs players in the fundamentals of a competitive sport and directs team strategy. Definition from Webster's Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary
You will notice in the above definitions that parent and coach are not related. However, it appears that more of the former think they know more than the latter, and aren't afraid to cross that line.
Example No. 1: At last Friday's Cinco Ranch-Mayde Creek girls' basketball game, the Lady Cougars posted an impressive 21-point road victory to remain in a first-place tie with Taylor in the District 17-5A race. This was a huge road win against a Lady Rams' squad that lost at the buzzer to the Lady Mustangs just three nights earlier. It was also Cinco Ranch's 56th win its last 57 district games, one of the most impressive streaks in the history of Texas high school sports.
After the game, I had just asked Lady Cougars coach Eric Bartlett about the victory when a gentlemen stopped in front of us and said, I'm embarrassed to be part of this program.
I want to re-emphasize that this comment, which left both of us dumbfounded, came after a 21-point road victory by the four-time defending district champions. Here are some of the other gaudy numbers posted by the Cinco Ranch girls' basketball program:
** A record of 152-55 in the last six-plus seasons;
** Playoff qualifiers the last six years, including four straight trips to the regional quarterfinals before advancing to the Region III finals last season;
** A district-winning streak of 54 games over four-plus seasons;
** A 17-13 record this season, with 12 of those losses having come against programs with a combined 243-71 record. Eight of those teams have already won 20 or more games;
** Led by a coach who has won 462 games in his 22-plus seasons.
Boy, I bet Coach Bartlett tosses and turns every night in bed thinking about how embarrassing his program is.
Example No. 2: A veteran coach recently told me that one of his former players had considered getting into high school coaching, but said, I don't think I can take the criticism. I'm not tough enough.
Example No. 3: The constant ringing tune of Play a different quarterback! shouted from the Morton Ranch stands during the majority of the 2007 football season. I'm sure that was pleasant for the quarterback who was playing.
Example No. 4 through infinity: Time-wasting, mind-numbing meetings with parents who aren't happy with their child's playing time.
Now, understand that I come at this from three different angles: parent of a teenager, a former high school coach, and a sports writer.
As a parent whose child played basketball as a freshman and has been in the tennis program at Cy-Fair High School for three years, it is tough to watch her play. It ached at times when she didn't get to play as a freshman because I love my daughter. I am selfish and am extremely protective of her well-being. We all want our children to play the entire game, succeed, and be champions.
This is unrealistic. It is Fantasy Land, spurred by our changing society.
High school sports is not Fun-Fair-Positive-Soccer. FFPS is a great program for youngsters, but playing high school sports prepares teenagers for life. Life is not always fun, it's hardly ever fair, and you're never going to live a day without someone being negative about something.
So, how do I best love my daughter? By letting her experience all aspects of high school sports, the good times and the rough times. By letting her learn to deal with adults, i.e. the coach, if she has a question or is discouraged. If I start fighting her battles now, what will she do in college and once she has a job? Will she expect me to call her professor or boss when she has a problem or dilemma? Even worse, will she expect me to go over the head of her direct supervisor/teacher/coach to the athletic coordinator/principal/dean/CEO, without first privately following the chain of command?
Although my daughter has rarely complained about anything in athletics, when she does, her mother and I say, Talk to the Coach. Rather than fighting these battles for her, I stand deep in the bleachers or far away from the court and mumble about strategy or coaching techniques, but I keep them to myself.
As a former high school coach, albeit for only three years, I agonized over lineups and trying to get everyone into a match. In tennis things are more cut and dried because we have a challenge ladder and you can prove one-on-one who best deserves a certain spot, but I can promise you that the No. 1 dilemma, and there isn't a close second, for all coaches is how to decide playing time.
No coach, repeat, NO COACH!!! goes into a match or game thinking, Boy, I'm not going to play so-and-so just to upset him/her. Deciding who does or does not play, or how long someone plays, is not based on malice. It's done after watching hours of practice and games, watching tape, and scouting opponents. Varsity coaches have to decide on what lineup can best help them win on that night, not on stroking the egos of the players (or sometimes, the parents).
As a sports writer, one who wrote his first story for a professional paper in 1976, I have seen a disintegration of the team (Together Everyone Accomplishes More!). Instead of having a team of players, you have individuals who play for a team. Encouraged by greedy club coaches and sometimes-misguided parents who have forked out thousands of dollars to chase that not-inevitable scholarship, high school coaches have become targets with large red circles on their backs.
These coaches, who, by the way, are first and foremost classroom teachers, go to clinics, study tapes until all hours of the morning, or go scouting when they could be home with their families, but somehow that doesn't make them as qualified as those of us who sit in the stands.
Do you not see their bloodshot eyes late in a season? Do you not see them when they are at the hospital with an injured player at 3 a.m., then head to 6 a.m. practice? Do you not see them representing our schools and our children with humility and grace? Do you not see how much they LOVE children?
Trust me, it's easy to be a coach from the stands. I do it every time I cover a game, but that doesn't mean I'm qualified to do so from the field or the bench. Like any sports writer, there's not a coach alive who hasn't questioned the strategy of a fellow coach, but you're not hearing them yell it from the stands or calling the principal the next morning because Johnny or Julie didn't play.
Winning at all costs or being a breeding ground for college programs is not the ultimate goal of a high school sports program. It's about teaching kids about academic and behavioral responsibility, and sacrificing the goals of the individual for the betterment of the team.
I'd say probably 90 percent of the parents understand this; it's the 10 percent who make coaches dread answering the phone or looking at their emails.
Friends, our coaches deserve better. Before shouting that slur or making that call or sending an email, please look in the mirror and ask yourself, Is this about the TEAM, or this about ME?
