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Post by silkyice on Nov 21, 2008 13:11:30 GMT -6
I know that I am about to sound like an arrogant dad who think his son is God's gift, but I figured some of you have been in my situation and I want some advice.
Background:
I have an 8 year old son that is pretty good at basketball. Won't be a college basketball player more than likely, so this is not about anything like that.
He is the best player in the league, my opinion, but he was the best player in the league last year and didn't move up. He plays in a 1st - 3rd grade league. I am his coach.
I also coach my older son on the 4th-7th grade league. My older son is pretty good on D, but not great on offense. My 8 year old had to play on the older team last week because we had our best player missing on the older team, and he ended up being our leading scorer against some players who were potentially 5 years older.
The problem:
How do I get him noticed by colleges? JUST KIDDING.
The real problem, no one else on the younger team is very good at all. At all. The teams are way stacked against us. Not on purpose or anything, they just are. Several other teams in the younger league have many 3rd graders who are good. For us to have a chance to win, my son will literally have to be the biggest ball hog ever.
Some of the players on his team are literally in his way. They can't help it. I know that. I am trying to coach all the kids and get my son to include everyone, which he does.
He is a good sport. He does want to include everyone, but he is VERY competitive. He knows the only way for us to win is to take the ball.
There is no doubt that I will teach him to do what the coach (me)says. To be a good sport. To put the team before himself. He doesn't care about stats or anything like that. He just wants to win badly. He passes the ball with no problem on the older team. But I also want to keep him competitive and to always do everything in his power to try and win.
But our only chance to win against some teams is for him to take the ball, and I mean just about everytime. If he does that, I think we will win.
On the older team, I am going to have my older son pass and screen for our best player (who is way above everybody on the team in talent), so it is not about my sons.
If the younger one was not my son, I wouldn't have any problem with telling him to go and try and score at will.
Help! What is best for the team, for the other players, and of course, for my son? I am not sure that letting him be a ball hog is good for him even if it actually would be good for the team. Do I let him be a ball hog?
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Post by superpower on Nov 21, 2008 13:20:48 GMT -6
Coach, it is THIRD GRADE! Let all of the kids have fun and have the opportunity to improve. Your son will have plenty of opportunities to improve and have success. Third grade basketball is not about winning.
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Post by Yash on Nov 21, 2008 13:22:47 GMT -6
I have to second that. Its third grade, hes 8. Let it be for awhile. Worry about it when hes a freshman.
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Post by thunder17 on Nov 21, 2008 13:37:29 GMT -6
My daughters 4th grade basketball team just got beat 42-2. When it was over you would have thought that my daughter's team had just won be 100. They didn't care, they just want to play and have fun. I would hope that in a couple more years losing would be upsetting to them, but none of them will probably be playing anyways! You're probably wondering, did my daughter score the 2 pts? Nope. Had the assist. Along with around 20 turnovers.
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Post by silkyice on Nov 21, 2008 13:44:22 GMT -6
I have to second that. Its third grade, hes 8. Let it be for awhile. Worry about it when hes a freshman. Very sound advice. Advice that I can take and have been projecting to the team. It is though, going to be difficult for my son to take. That is my problem. But it is also an opportunity to teach! |
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Post by tiger46 on Nov 21, 2008 14:25:01 GMT -6
Don't want to rain on the good sportsmanship parade. Although the score doesn't matter to some kids; I know darn well that it does to others. It's not really the score that matters to kids like that; the effort matters even more.
Competitive kids shouldn't be the ones that get their wings clipped, imo. A star 8-year old player will have plenty of other chances to win games. But, average-to-dud players will have plenty of other opportunities to practice and get better at the game.
This sort of reminds me of that thread about the 9-yr old kid was not allowed to pitch because he was too good for the competition. I seriously doubt that the situation is going to impact the kid's adult life. But, no one can say, one way or the other, that the kid won't remember the feelings- whatever they may be- he had when he found out that he was not allowed to do what he does best- and, that's pitch baseballs.
I am 39yrs. old. I can honestly say that I can still remember what it felt like to win our baseball's league championship at age 8. I can also honestly say that I still remember what it felt like to lose in the same championship by one point a year later at age 9. No regrets by any players on either side. It was the best effort that either team could've put forth.
Coach, I've been in your son's exact situation with the exception that my dad was not my coach. Obviously, you're going to set parental and coaching guidelines. But, my advice would be to let your son lead the team. If he's not a ball-hog and knows when to pass and when to keep the ball, like you say, then he knows enough to be the court general. Let him do what he thinks best. Let him play the best that he can. Let him lead his team the best that he can. Don't stand in his way.
And, yeah....you're probably going to take heat from the other players' parents from both sides.
It sucks.
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Post by davecisar on Nov 21, 2008 14:37:11 GMT -6
Why not just play him up and let him get his "competitive juices" flowing at the older levels if that is important to you?
Ive often moved a kid up an age level in football to make it a challenge for the dominating youth player (when they are physically and emotionally secure). Thats also why I prefer practicing all 3 of my different aged teams together for 1/2 of most practices, to match the stronger young kids against more mature kids that in the end make them both better. The best athletes I ever had needed to be challenges in this way and made them much better players.
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Post by tothehouse on Nov 21, 2008 14:59:02 GMT -6
I have an 8 year old son and a 6 year old son. I am letting them play...............PLAY. That is what they are doing. Oh, they are playing sports like basketball, soccer, baseball.........but they are PLAYING. We will COMPETE soon enough and they will know when it's time to COMPETE. My 8 year old has a cannon of an arm and throws a hell of a change up in baseball already. But when we PLAY it's catch. It's not a big deal right now. If he happens to have success next year in baseball I will not downplay that though.....but it still is playing.
My 6 year old....he is sometimes an animal and sometimes a daisy picker on the soccer field. It's all good. He runs, he sweats, he PLAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What will be interesting is football might enter into this equation in 09. I will be curious to my kids reactions to pads and a bit more pain. I'll make sure they get dialed into what they need to at the right time in there life. But again, that depends on how bad they really want to PLAY!!!
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Post by silkyice on Nov 21, 2008 15:19:29 GMT -6
I have an 8 year old son and a 6 year old son. I am letting them play...............PLAY. That is what they are doing. Oh, they are playing sports like basketball, soccer, baseball.........but they are PLAYING. We will COMPETE soon enough and they will know when it's time to COMPETE. My 8 year old has a cannon of an arm and throws a hell of a change up in baseball already. But when we PLAY it's catch. It's not a big deal right now. If he happens to have success next year in baseball I will not downplay that though.....but it still is playing. My 6 year old....he is sometimes an animal and sometimes a daisy picker on the soccer field. It's all good. He runs, he sweats, he PLAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What will be interesting is football might enter into this equation in 09. I will be curious to my kids reactions to pads and a bit more pain. I'll make sure they get dialed into what they need to at the right time in there life. But again, that depends on how bad they really want to PLAY!!! I completely agree. But if I let my son just play baseketball, the other kids won't get much of the ball. He will get most of the rebounds. The other kids throw it in to him on out of bounds unless I force them to throw it to someone else. That is really what my question boils down to, I will have to hold him back to let the others play. Basketball is a litlle different than baseball and even football in that regard. In baseball, you just play. If the ball comes to you, you make the play. You get up to bat, you just try and hit it. Football is a little different. The coach gets to call the play on offense and decide who gets the ball. No one complains when a kid goes and makes a tackle on defense. But in basketball, I am going to have to force him to pass the ball to a teammate who is probably not really open and will just turn it over or dribble it out of bounds more than likely. To everyone else, he is a good sport about that, but to me he is a little upset about it. There is just so much disparity for some reason in our league. Again it just turned out that way. If my son is a 10, the rest of our team is about a 2 or 3. The other teams have at least three 8's or better. It just makes it difficult for any of our other kids to play or compete. |
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Post by saintrad on Nov 21, 2008 15:28:38 GMT -6
If it isn't under the lights played in a varsity game then it is all about player development. Yes it is fun to win, but not developing players in positions that they may actually be used in is a crime.
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Post by cqmiller on Nov 21, 2008 15:51:43 GMT -6
My little brother was in the same boat when he was younger... My father was his coach.
I know that my dad set up little "mini-games" for my brother to complete before he could score more than 10 points. One game, he had to make sure that "Johnny" got 5 shots, and "Tommy" had to get 6 shots.
One year they won the "state" title for 6th grade 32-31 where he scored the first 30 points and with 8 seconds left got the ball back out of bounds. My dad had a double screen set up for my brother to get the ball at half court... Told my brother to dribble to corner on purpose and snuck "Johhny" to the opposite block. All 5 guys had eyes and feet glued to my brother so he dumped it to the block and "johnny" won the game as the buzzer rang.
Also, in most leagues you have to sit a kid for a full quarter anyway. Sit your son for the first one and let the other team play against your other kids... if you are losing, who cares? your best kid is coming in to "save the day". On the other side, only play your kid for the first quarter, let him go CRAZY and then pull him and sit him the rest of the game. Have the other kids learn how to hold their own. Don't buckle and put your kid back in there. W/L are cool when they are that young, but if you have playoffs at the end, you can just keep your kid in there to dominate the playoffs at the end. Build up those 2nd & 3rd tier kids, because when your son gets older, he is going to have to rely on them to be successful.
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mce86
Junior Member
Posts: 281
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Post by mce86 on Nov 21, 2008 17:14:00 GMT -6
Ive been a high school coach, college coach, and have had the opportunity to caoch my owns son in football and basketball (i have no business coaching basketball)
As a coach, you likely run some type of basketball offense..usually some type of movement, pass , pick away, etc.
I would think that your son should be coached to play basketball the way you are coaching. Should you be coaching to spread everyone out and leave him 1:1 to score....only in certain situations (last shot, set play)
The rest of the time, you coach him to run the plays. If he runs them the best, he will score a high % of the time when it is his opportunity. Also, he will end up getting the ball alot because he has a special ability to get open.
If your running a set to get an open outside shot, you run it until you get the open shot. Or its to create a pic for someone. Run the team to teach the game, your son will still stand out, and without a talented group around him, maybe you wont win, maybe you will. Make it your job to make the other players better, and not to win the game.
These kids are 8 and 9 years old...what they will remember is the friendships they formed, and then they will remember the friendships formed in high school, and then they will remember relationships in college. Dont worry about giving any glory moments!
An example I could use is when I coached QB for our varsity team...his job was to run the offense...if there were receivers who couldnt catch, his job was to hit them with a perfect pass that they had to catch, not to check down to somebody else....the decision is based on his reads..period. It was our WR coaches job to get his guys to catch, like it is your job to get yours sons teammates to the best of their ability.
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Post by coachorr on Nov 25, 2008 1:36:05 GMT -6
Is he learning fundamentals? Two foot jump stop, using the pivot foot, putting the ball down first before he moves, dribbling should only be in the direction of the basket, staying wide in transition, pass and screen away, closing out, tracing the ball, stay down on defense (the blocked shot is overrated), boxing out, jumping to the ball, help and recover etc.? Win lose or draw, fundamentals is what is important.
I have reffed youth leagues for the last 10 years and have coached at some level of High School ball for about the last seven years. The mistake I see youth league coaches making is the teaching of only the offense he/she wants to run or teaching 1 game (the one holding the ball needs to score). And saying studd that makes no sense like "get in the passing lanes" (which is fine at a higher level, but kids have no clue what that means) "Rebound" (same as saying 'come on line, block someone'). So, the point is, winning means little at that age, however, teaching fundamentals and how to compete are key.
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Post by touchdownmaker on Nov 25, 2008 10:19:09 GMT -6
Emphasize performance as a team over winning. IF the TEAM performs well as a unit then winning will take care of itself.
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Post by bulldogoption on Nov 25, 2008 11:25:56 GMT -6
If your younger son can take his shots within the confines of the offense, then there isn't any problem, IMO....if he takes every shot so be it. (if you are doing things within the confines of the offense, I doubt that would happen however.)
but if you are abondoning all team structure and just telling the other kids to clear out so we can score, I think you are doing the other kids a disservice at 3rd grade.
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Post by eaglemountie on Nov 25, 2008 13:18:33 GMT -6
Let him play, enough time for all that other stuff.
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