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Parents
Nov 6, 2022 12:14:34 GMT -6
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Post by CS on Nov 6, 2022 12:14:34 GMT -6
Would you remove a kid from the team due to the actions of their parents? Let’s say the kid doesn’t give you trouble but the parents are unbearable
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Parents
Nov 6, 2022 12:23:36 GMT -6
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Post by vicvinegar on Nov 6, 2022 12:23:36 GMT -6
Nope! Our program dealt with it this year. The kid apologized several times and said to just ignore his Dad.
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Post by blb on Nov 6, 2022 12:53:43 GMT -6
I would not.
Not the kid's fault.
Tell the parents that if they think their son is somehow having a bad experience (ACCORDING TO HIM) and THEY want to remove him, they can certainly do so.
But you wouldn't want them to unless it was HIS idea.
What are you going to tell him?
"Look, Johnny, you're a good kid and we know you're doing the best you can. But we just can't tolerate your parents anymore, so you're off the team"?
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Post by fantom on Nov 6, 2022 13:21:35 GMT -6
You only have to put up with Dad now and then. The poor kid has to live with him.
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Parents
Nov 6, 2022 15:37:37 GMT -6
Post by wolverine55 on Nov 6, 2022 15:37:37 GMT -6
Is the AD/Administration aware and is it bad enough to ban them from games? We've had a couple parents in my tenure at my current job given one-year suspensions from attending any activity.
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Parents
Nov 6, 2022 15:51:09 GMT -6
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Post by CS on Nov 6, 2022 15:51:09 GMT -6
I should elaborate. I’m not having any issues. Spoke with a buddy of mine and basically the dad had told his son to not do certain things because he doesn’t get to play.
He says the kid told them about it and still does stuff but, for example, if his dad sees him cleaning up the field after practice he directs him to stop and go get dressed.
I’m listening to this and thinking to my self that I would tell the dad if he felt that way he could help his kid clean his locker out. That being said I’m not a huge fan of kicking kids off but this seemed like a strange situation
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Parents
Nov 6, 2022 19:40:24 GMT -6
Post by chi5hi on Nov 6, 2022 19:40:24 GMT -6
No, I wouldn't do that. If the kid is trying and not being a problem, then that's good enough to stay with his teammates.
Pass the parents along to the AD.
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Post by coachcb on Nov 7, 2022 8:30:13 GMT -6
I'd suggest documenting the situation and doing what is necessary to keep the kid on the straight n' narrow. If the kid starts listening to dad, then there should be consequences. But, I also think this is a situation where the kid should be rewarded for being a good teammate and person. Find a way to get him into games and not because dad is a PITA. Because the kid is ignoring the fact that dad's a PITA.
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Post by CanyonCoach on Nov 7, 2022 8:42:46 GMT -6
We had to have a police order barring a parent from our facility this season. It has more to do with a custody issue but it has spilled onto the field after games a couple of times. The kid is awesome but the dad is experiencing some mental health issues and is incredibly toxic.
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Post by raider92 on Nov 7, 2022 10:04:02 GMT -6
As hard is it can be to resist, dont take it out on the kid. I'd also be wary of getting too involved in either direction.
If dad is telling him not help clean up then IMO dont go out of your way to try and make him help clean up for example. While the kid would be better for it, it is still dads right to parent even if think he's doing a $hitty job.
I've had learn this the hard way. At the end of the day the parent is still the parent even if they're useless. It sucks but it's part of the deal. That's also why I just coach and no longer teach special ed. Just saw too many garbage people
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Post by CoachMikeJudy on Nov 7, 2022 11:18:54 GMT -6
We have dealt with this several times. Admin handles parent separate from the student. We have had parents banned from games for a season, a year, or permanently. Kid only get disciplined for things THEY do.
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Parents
Nov 7, 2022 14:10:59 GMT -6
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blb likes this
Post by Defcord on Nov 7, 2022 14:10:59 GMT -6
As hard is it can be to resist, dont take it out on the kid. I'd also be wary of getting too involved in either direction. If dad is telling him not help clean up then IMO dont go out of your way to try and make him help clean up for example. While the kid would be better for it, it is still dads right to parent even if think he's doing a $hitty job. I've had learn this the hard way. At the end of the day the parent is still the parent even if they're useless. It sucks but it's part of the deal. That's also why I just coach and no longer teach special ed. Just saw too many garbage people It’s a slippery slope if you don’t make that kid clean up. We have a rotating clean up duty schedule. Everyone contributes. I just can’t see how letting a kid skip that because his dad’s an assshole doesn’t lead to further issues with that family or others. What happens when the dad tells him he doesn’t have to condition or doesn’t have to play scout team or doesn’t have to do anything? Or what’s to keep another dad from finding out first dad got his kid out of cleaning up so now he wants his kid to not clean up. I say don’t punish the kid for things he can’t control but also don’t make someone else’s day harder because some idiot is trying to prove a point and a bad one. My message to the dad would be everyone helps and contributes. If your kid can’t do that then you need to remove him from the team. You do not get to decide how we run our program. |
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Parents
Nov 7, 2022 14:33:48 GMT -6
Post by tothehouse on Nov 7, 2022 14:33:48 GMT -6
What about stating, at the start of the season, that your team will have a NO DRAMA policy. Meaning...if the parents are dramatic about things either with their kid or on social media, etc. then the kid has a chance to be removed from the program.
Lay things down in front. And then be consistent. One of the levels of our program dealt with a mom who decided, on game day, that her son wasn't going to play because of the way he....WAIT FOR IT...broke up with his girlfriend.
Interesting story...I have this kid in class...well, did. He has now transferred out of the school.
We all deal with a lot. I am all for having a long discussion about removing kids if parents are out of control.
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Parents
Nov 7, 2022 14:37:43 GMT -6
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Post by raider92 on Nov 7, 2022 14:37:43 GMT -6
As hard is it can be to resist, dont take it out on the kid. I'd also be wary of getting too involved in either direction. If dad is telling him not help clean up then IMO dont go out of your way to try and make him help clean up for example. While the kid would be better for it, it is still dads right to parent even if think he's doing a $hitty job. I've had learn this the hard way. At the end of the day the parent is still the parent even if they're useless. It sucks but it's part of the deal. That's also why I just coach and no longer teach special ed. Just saw too many garbage people It’s a slippery slope if you don’t make that kid clean up. We have a rotating clean up duty schedule. Everyone contributes. I just can’t see how letting a kid skip that because his dad’s an assshole doesn’t lead to further issues with that family or others. What happens when the dad tells him he doesn’t have to condition or doesn’t have to play scout team or doesn’t have to do anything? Or what’s to keep another dad from finding out first dad got his kid out of cleaning up so now he wants his kid to not clean up. I say don’t punish the kid for things he can’t control but also don’t make someone else’s day harder because some idiot is trying to prove a point and a bad one. My message to the dad would be everyone helps and contributes. If your kid can’t do that then you need to remove him from the team. You do not get to decide how we run our program. Agreed, you've got to have standards. I'm just saying not to go out of the way to try and get into a power struggle over it as parents are always parents. In your example I'd absolutely make him do clean up work if it's something that is scheduled and part of being on the team. I was envisioning something more like a kid voluntarily helping clean up after practice and dad telling him not to. He still has to meet all the standards that everyone else does |
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Parents
Nov 7, 2022 19:17:22 GMT -6
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Post by CS on Nov 7, 2022 19:17:22 GMT -6
It’s a slippery slope if you don’t make that kid clean up. We have a rotating clean up duty schedule. Everyone contributes. I just can’t see how letting a kid skip that because his dad’s an assshole doesn’t lead to further issues with that family or others. What happens when the dad tells him he doesn’t have to condition or doesn’t have to play scout team or doesn’t have to do anything? Or what’s to keep another dad from finding out first dad got his kid out of cleaning up so now he wants his kid to not clean up. I say don’t punish the kid for things he can’t control but also don’t make someone else’s day harder because some idiot is trying to prove a point and a bad one. My message to the dad would be everyone helps and contributes. If your kid can’t do that then you need to remove him from the team. You do not get to decide how we run our program. Agreed, you've got to have standards. I'm just saying not to go out of the way to try and get into a power struggle over it as parents are always parents. In your example I'd absolutely make him do clean up work if it's something that is scheduled and part of being on the team. I was envisioning something more like a kid voluntarily helping clean up after practice and dad telling him not to. He still has to meet all the standards that everyone else does No just general “sophomores get the field today” type stuff. I have a problem with a parent telling his kid not to do that stuff like everyone else because he doesn’t get to play. IDK these people so I could be taking it wrong but it sounds like a fuk you coaches for not playing my kid type situation |
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