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Post by bulldogsdc on Jun 1, 2022 10:57:19 GMT -6
Have any of you coached your on kid on the varsity level? I am looking for advice from folks that have been through it. I am his position coach.
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Post by blackknight on Jun 1, 2022 11:03:38 GMT -6
I coached both my sons but I was not the position coach. Best advice is once we got in the truck I was Dad not Coach.
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Post by QBCoachDurham on Jun 1, 2022 11:57:11 GMT -6
I coached my oldest son. I was the head coach and his position coach (QB). I never made the first move when we were away from the field. If he wanted to watch film or do extra work, he had to initiate the conversation. On the field, I did my best to treat him like everyone else. Going to take the same approach with my younger son, who is heading into the 8th grade.
It was most difficult for my wife. She had to sit in the stands with her husband as the head coach and her son playing QB. Thank God we had the best two year run at our school in over 40 years during that time.
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Post by carookie on Jun 1, 2022 12:54:25 GMT -6
I would add, be ready for possible blowback from parents and teammates. I have seen it where everyone assumes nepotism, regardless if it is legitimate.
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Post by groundchuck on Jun 1, 2022 12:54:37 GMT -6
Have any of you coached your on kid on the varsity level? I am looking for advice from folks that have been through it. I am his position coach. I just got done with that phase of my coaching career. I was my son's position coach the last three years on varsity. I would not trade the experience for the world. My son was a role player/backup on a state championship team. He probably/possibly could have started for teams we played against but he was behind a D1 track athlete and a 6'6" D2 basketball player who had some FCS football looks and he knew it. He was an integral player on special teams and made some major plays there. It wasn't like he never played. I am lucky he is truely a coach's kid and never complained. He was my ball boy for years growing up at a different school when I was a head coach. We won a title together in our last game on the field. How do I top that? I treated him like everyone else. I dogged him like everyone else, and todl him I was proud of him just like everyone else. He got a concussion in practice as a freshman over on the other field. The freshman coach came over to tell me. I asked if he was conscious and what they were doing. When I was sure he was "OK" I went back to coaching the varsity and took care of him after practice. I am really lucky because outside of me, my son understood what we were doing coverage wise more than other other coaches on staff. He is very smart and he has been around me and football for a long time. When he was a kid I had him tagging ODK on Hudl. He is also a great communicator. He was like having another DB coach sometimes and he could talk to his teammates in a way to calm them down, refocus them, or explain adjustments. He knew that was how he was bringing value to the team and I guess he was OK with that. I don't know what it would be like if my son's head was filled with other thoughts. It was hard on my wife to see our son not playing as much as other boys who maybe didn't understand the game or put in the time but because of who they were genetically got to play. My son and wife also knew I was not the kind of coach who was going to play his son ahead of others just to play his kid. I have seen this take place in other sports where I have coached and it hurts the team and makes that coach and kid look bad. But man, when he got a pick in the semi-final game.....I thought he might house it my coaching hat came off and my dad hat went on. I was super proud of him as a dad. At the banquet the head coach was talking about each of the seniors and he said there was no better example of how to manage coaching your son than me and him. He's been around a while and I know there have been a few before us. So I guess I did OK. I am not sure I can give a lot of advice. Find a way to keep your son #1 in your life while also keeping the team #1. I can't tell you how to do that. Maybe that is one of the few things that came naturally in my life. |
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Post by carookie on Jun 1, 2022 17:47:22 GMT -6
Have any of you coached your on kid on the varsity level? I am looking for advice from folks that have been through it. I am his position coach. I just got done with that phase of my coaching career. I was my son's position coach the last three years on varsity. I would not trade the experience for the world. My son was a role player/backup on a state championship team. He probably/possibly could have started for teams we played against but he was behind a D1 track athlete and a 6'6" D2 basketball player who had some FCS football looks and he knew it. He was an integral player on special teams and made some major plays there. It wasn't like he never played. I am lucky he is truely a coach's kid and never complained. He was my ball boy for years growing up at a different school when I was a head coach. We won a title together in our last game on the field. How do I top that? I treated him like everyone else. I dogged him like everyone else, and todl him I was proud of him just like everyone else. He got a concussion in practice as a freshman over on the other field. The freshman coach came over to tell me. I asked if he was conscious and what they were doing. When I was sure he was "OK" I went back to coaching the varsity and took care of him after practice. I am really lucky because outside of me, my son understood what we were doing coverage wise more than other other coaches on staff. He is very smart and he has been around me and football for a long time. When he was a kid I had him tagging ODK on Hudl. He is also a great communicator. He was like having another DB coach sometimes and he could talk to his teammates in a way to calm them down, refocus them, or explain adjustments. He knew that was how he was bringing value to the team and I guess he was OK with that. I don't know what it would be like if my son's head was filled with other thoughts. It was hard on my wife to see our son not playing as much as other boys who maybe didn't understand the game or put in the time but because of who they were genetically got to play. My son and wife also knew I was not the kind of coach who was going to play his son ahead of others just to play his kid. I have seen this take place in other sports where I have coached and it hurts the team and makes that coach and kid look bad. But man, when he got a pick in the semi-final game.....I thought he might house it my coaching hat came off and my dad hat went on. I was super proud of him as a dad. At the banquet the head coach was talking about each of the seniors and he said there was no better example of how to manage coaching your son than me and him. He's been around a while and I know there have been a few before us. So I guess I did OK. I am not sure I can give a lot of advice. Find a way to keep your son #1 in your life while also keeping the team #1. I can't tell you how to do that. Maybe that is one of the few things that came naturally in my life. Reminds me of when I was on a staff a few years back, HC's son was a Sophomore at the time and an absolute stud (still in the league). He's playing DB and comes up to make a play in the pile on a short yardage inside run. Long story short he gets his tibia and fibula broken, still worst injury I've ever seen on the field in person. HC is out there with him while the emergency cart loads him up, and rides back with him while it carries him back to the parking lot to get on an ambulance. Then about a two minutes later, HC comes running back onto the sideline. Mind you his boy is being taken to the hospital with a life altering injury. I told him, "we got the game, go take care of your boy." But he refused, and finished coaching the game. Thankfully, I never had to deal with that one, but makes me think what I would do in that case. |
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Post by bulldogsdc on Jun 2, 2022 6:24:59 GMT -6
I remember when Coach D at Apopka caught flak when his son got concussed and he stayed with the team instead of going to the hospital. I think it was a game in SC. And by flak, it could have just been my Facebook feed, because I graduated from there.
I think it is the right move to stay with the team.
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patts12
Sophomore Member
Posts: 104
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Post by patts12 on Jun 3, 2022 9:13:14 GMT -6
Al McGuire once said that if your kid was the best or the worse player on your team, it was easy to coach them. It was if they were in the middle, then you had some decisions to make. He also said he started his son because number one he loved him and number two he knew his mother real well.
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Post by olcoach53 on Jun 3, 2022 10:47:53 GMT -6
Had the opposite type of situation happen during my first year coaching. I was co-coaching the OL with a players dad. The player ONLY played because he was the coaches kid and it showed. Never practiced, didn't know the offense, acted like an entitled punk. During a game mid-season I went to replace him after he got our QB killed for a second time and the kids dad went Ape poop and yelled in my face that if I ever took his kid out again we would have problems...
Well I did and of course we did NOT have problems. Thankfully the dad quit coaching that next season and we never had to deal with any issue like that again.
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Post by CanyonCoach on Jun 6, 2022 9:13:34 GMT -6
Just getting started with this part of life. My son will be a sophomore next season. He is a great kid that works hard and does everything that his previous coaches have asked. Lifts/runs/good student.
Hates football.
Only plays because our rule in our house is that you either get a job or you are in a school related sport/activity. Cross Country NOPE, Tennis NOPE, Soccer Nope so football it is.
I don't coach his position and I don't talk to him about football much. I was able to be at most of his games last year and he isn't bad. He is mostly just in the "I hate anything my parents do." Phase
It was hard and it hasn't gotten easier since the season ended. He plays basketball and baseball, he is on the upper teams for his grade/age. Freshmen A team for hoops and JV team in baseball. He doesn't think he will get to play much football at the JV level (if the season started today he would be our #4 LB and our #3 FB according to position coaches). Anytime I bring up football related activities he becomes defensive/argumentative.
This issue has been the one that has had me think about getting out of coaching more than anything else.
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Post by bulldogsdc on Jun 6, 2022 10:26:49 GMT -6
Just getting started with this part of life. My son will be a sophomore next season. He is a great kid that works hard and does everything that his previous coaches have asked. Lifts/runs/good student. Hates football. Only plays because our rule in our house is that you either get a job or you are in a school related sport/activity. Cross Country NOPE, Tennis NOPE, Soccer Nope so football it is. I don't coach his position and I don't talk to him about football much. I was able to be at most of his games last year and he isn't bad. He is mostly just in the "I hate anything my parents do." Phase It was hard and it hasn't gotten easier since the season ended. He plays basketball and baseball, he is on the upper teams for his grade/age. Freshmen A team for hoops and JV team in baseball. He doesn't think he will get to play much football at the JV level (if the season started today he would be our #4 LB and our #3 FB according to position coaches). Anytime I bring up football related activities he becomes defensive/argumentative. This issue has been the one that has had me think about getting out of coaching more than anything else. You are thinking of getting out of coaching because your kid doesn't want to play. Help him get a job. I'm not being a hater but this is the same situation I am in with my younger son. Don't force them to play football. |
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Post by bluedevil4 on Jun 6, 2022 12:02:46 GMT -6
Just getting started with this part of life. My son will be a sophomore next season. He is a great kid that works hard and does everything that his previous coaches have asked. Lifts/runs/good student. Hates football. Only plays because our rule in our house is that you either get a job or you are in a school related sport/activity. Cross Country NOPE, Tennis NOPE, Soccer Nope so football it is. I don't coach his position and I don't talk to him about football much. I was able to be at most of his games last year and he isn't bad. He is mostly just in the "I hate anything my parents do." Phase It was hard and it hasn't gotten easier since the season ended. He plays basketball and baseball, he is on the upper teams for his grade/age. Freshmen A team for hoops and JV team in baseball. He doesn't think he will get to play much football at the JV level (if the season started today he would be our #4 LB and our #3 FB according to position coaches). Anytime I bring up football related activities he becomes defensive/argumentative. This issue has been the one that has had me think about getting out of coaching more than anything else. Y'all don't have to be doing the same things together. Why is this making you consider getting out of coaching? There are so many other options out there for kids...sports or activities or types of community involvement that don't fit into neat boxes of "work" and "sports," or even "school activity." Sometimes "work or play sports," isn't appropriate, and an activity a kid wants to pursue may not be accessible through the school. What I'm gathering from most of this post is that while you have the initiatives to be active/busy, there's not a lot of consideration being taken for WHAT HE WANTS TO DO. He's more than welcome to hate everything you all do...there's so much else out there to do. The biggest risk as a parent here is asking a kid "what do you want to do," and thinking the child is lost if they say "nothing" or "I don't know," or if they say "I hate everything." I really believe all kids want to do or pursue something, but their biggest fear is disapproval or lack of support, acknowledgement, or understanding from parents. If they're giving "stop" answers like above, there's something more going on...in a conversation where they need to be given the ability to speak freely and with support. I know it may feel like I'm stepping on toes, but I would genuinely reconsider the wording or formatting of that house-rule so that it's more adaptable to whatever they want to pursue (what they may want to pursue may not be accessible through just school and work). |
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Post by wolverine55 on Jun 6, 2022 13:57:21 GMT -6
Just getting started with this part of life. My son will be a sophomore next season. He is a great kid that works hard and does everything that his previous coaches have asked. Lifts/runs/good student. Hates football. Only plays because our rule in our house is that you either get a job or you are in a school related sport/activity. Cross Country NOPE, Tennis NOPE, Soccer Nope so football it is. I don't coach his position and I don't talk to him about football much. I was able to be at most of his games last year and he isn't bad. He is mostly just in the "I hate anything my parents do." Phase It was hard and it hasn't gotten easier since the season ended. He plays basketball and baseball, he is on the upper teams for his grade/age. Freshmen A team for hoops and JV team in baseball. He doesn't think he will get to play much football at the JV level (if the season started today he would be our #4 LB and our #3 FB according to position coaches). Anytime I bring up football related activities he becomes defensive/argumentative. This issue has been the one that has had me think about getting out of coaching more than anything else. Coach, your son honestly sounds a lot like me in high school, only instead of football being the issue it was basketball. As someone who was basically forced by a parent to play basketball my freshman and sophomore year, if he doesn't enjoy football he shouldn't be playing it. Be proud of the fact he's already a two-sport athlete (assuming he does enjoy baseball and basketball) and help him find something else he does enjoy during football season, even if it's just devoting some offseason time to those other two sports. |
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Post by spartan on Jun 6, 2022 16:35:11 GMT -6
If he is the best player on the team or the worst your fine. Anywhere in between, good luck cause it will be difficult
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Post by pound41 on Jun 6, 2022 18:39:06 GMT -6
I coached both my son's I was the D coordinator and both my son's were QB's. I always felt pressure to hold the other team down.
I always want to pitch a shutout but I felt more pressure than the 20 plus years I was DC without a son on the team. Remember they have only one Dad and will have many coaches. There were times when I got on them and probably shouldnt have. Only at practice never at games. It was a great experience I am very close with them. Depending on where you play. People are going to talk Sht no matter how good they are. Both my sons were power 5 qbs and on social media its not deserved. Old man is a coach someone else should be the QB. All in all enjoy the time with your boy.
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Post by s1ngwing on Jun 6, 2022 20:03:19 GMT -6
I have coached HS FB for 28 years. I have been an HC the past 12 years. As HC I was the OC/QB coach. In 2016 my youngest became a freshman in my program... He began signaling to our offense when he was in 5th grade (2013), no one would expect a 5th grader to be the live signaler! Basically before he got to HS he was accustomed to me jumping his ass for a missed signal or even a mistake on my part.
Before his freshman year we sat down. I basically told him yes I am your Dad but once we cross the lines I am your coach. Be prepared for me to jump your butt even if you do not make a mistake. As QB the offense's success and failure is on you! I also explained to him that on the field I am Coach and he should never call me Dad. He understood that I would hold him accountable for everything!
I did the same thing with my youngest.... I had the blessing of coaching my 2 sons for 6 years!! both of them were offered power 5 scholarships and I understand that this is rare!
If you get the opportunity to coach your son... Enjoy it!!!!
We sat at the kitchen table and broke down film Sunday through Thursday! Greatest time of my life!
Basically... hold them more accountable then anyone else and enjoy the blessing of time with them!!!
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Post by bulldogsdc on Jun 7, 2022 6:21:27 GMT -6
If he is the best player on the team or the worst your fine. Anywhere in between, good luck cause it will be difficult He's a dog. Best weightroom numbers of any freshman. Finishes blocks in a bad mood. Slow as sh!t. Bad genetics. |
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Post by CanyonCoach on Jun 7, 2022 6:49:45 GMT -6
Just getting started with this part of life. My son will be a sophomore next season. He is a great kid that works hard and does everything that his previous coaches have asked. Lifts/runs/good student. Hates football. Only plays because our rule in our house is that you either get a job or you are in a school related sport/activity. Cross Country NOPE, Tennis NOPE, Soccer Nope so football it is. I don't coach his position and I don't talk to him about football much. I was able to be at most of his games last year and he isn't bad. He is mostly just in the "I hate anything my parents do." Phase It was hard and it hasn't gotten easier since the season ended. He plays basketball and baseball, he is on the upper teams for his grade/age. Freshmen A team for hoops and JV team in baseball. He doesn't think he will get to play much football at the JV level (if the season started today he would be our #4 LB and our #3 FB according to position coaches). Anytime I bring up football related activities he becomes defensive/argumentative. This issue has been the one that has had me think about getting out of coaching more than anything else. You are thinking of getting out of coaching because your kid doesn't want to play. Help him get a job. I'm not being a hater but this is the same situation I am in with my younger son. Don't force them to play football. He won't quit because he doesn't want a job...I have never said he had to play football specifically. I think he likes the conflict. |
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Post by CanyonCoach on Jun 7, 2022 6:57:57 GMT -6
Just getting started with this part of life. My son will be a sophomore next season. He is a great kid that works hard and does everything that his previous coaches have asked. Lifts/runs/good student. Hates football. Only plays because our rule in our house is that you either get a job or you are in a school related sport/activity. Cross Country NOPE, Tennis NOPE, Soccer Nope so football it is. I don't coach his position and I don't talk to him about football much. I was able to be at most of his games last year and he isn't bad. He is mostly just in the "I hate anything my parents do." Phase It was hard and it hasn't gotten easier since the season ended. He plays basketball and baseball, he is on the upper teams for his grade/age. Freshmen A team for hoops and JV team in baseball. He doesn't think he will get to play much football at the JV level (if the season started today he would be our #4 LB and our #3 FB according to position coaches). Anytime I bring up football related activities he becomes defensive/argumentative. This issue has been the one that has had me think about getting out of coaching more than anything else. Y'all don't have to be doing the same things together. Why is this making you consider getting out of coaching? There are so many other options out there for kids...sports or activities or types of community involvement that don't fit into neat boxes of "work" and "sports," or even "school activity." Sometimes "work or play sports," isn't appropriate, and an activity a kid wants to pursue may not be accessible through the school. What I'm gathering from most of this post is that while you have the initiatives to be active/busy, there's not a lot of consideration being taken for WHAT HE WANTS TO DO. He's more than welcome to hate everything you all do...there's so much else out there to do. The biggest risk as a parent here is asking a kid "what do you want to do," and thinking the child is lost if they say "nothing" or "I don't know," or if they say "I hate everything." I really believe all kids want to do or pursue something, but their biggest fear is disapproval or lack of support, acknowledgement, or understanding from parents. If they're giving "stop" answers like above, there's something more going on...in a conversation where they need to be given the ability to speak freely and with support. I know it may feel like I'm stepping on toes, but I would genuinely reconsider the wording or formatting of that house-rule so that it's more adaptable to whatever they want to pursue (what they may want to pursue may not be accessible through just school and work). I guess be productive would be more of the rule... My oldest daughter tried a few sports and school groups (speech/debate, music etc..) she reluctantly got a retail job because of a friend and loved it. It changed her perspective on life in general. She also negotiated the rule to include advance placement classes so that she finished HS with 3 semesters of college credits. I appreciate feed back. As for leaving coaching the idea that I can't create an atmosphere that kids want to be a part of hits the ego and my kid makes it sound like pure torture. |
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Post by jstoss24 on Jun 7, 2022 10:32:09 GMT -6
Y'all don't have to be doing the same things together. Why is this making you consider getting out of coaching? There are so many other options out there for kids...sports or activities or types of community involvement that don't fit into neat boxes of "work" and "sports," or even "school activity." Sometimes "work or play sports," isn't appropriate, and an activity a kid wants to pursue may not be accessible through the school. What I'm gathering from most of this post is that while you have the initiatives to be active/busy, there's not a lot of consideration being taken for WHAT HE WANTS TO DO. He's more than welcome to hate everything you all do...there's so much else out there to do. The biggest risk as a parent here is asking a kid "what do you want to do," and thinking the child is lost if they say "nothing" or "I don't know," or if they say "I hate everything." I really believe all kids want to do or pursue something, but their biggest fear is disapproval or lack of support, acknowledgement, or understanding from parents. If they're giving "stop" answers like above, there's something more going on...in a conversation where they need to be given the ability to speak freely and with support. I know it may feel like I'm stepping on toes, but I would genuinely reconsider the wording or formatting of that house-rule so that it's more adaptable to whatever they want to pursue (what they may want to pursue may not be accessible through just school and work). I guess be productive would be more of the rule... My oldest daughter tried a few sports and school groups (speech/debate, music etc..) she reluctantly got a retail job because of a friend and loved it. It changed her perspective on life in general. She also negotiated the rule to include advance placement classes so that she finished HS with 3 semesters of college credits. I appreciate feed back. As for leaving coaching the idea that I can't create an atmosphere that kids want to be a part of hits the ego and my kid makes it sound like pure torture. It's not all kids that don't want to be there, it's just him. Some kids just don't like football, and that's ok. Don't take it personally. Also, some kids (myself included when I was that age) are embarrassed to be around their parents. Harder not to take that personally, but don't think it means he doesn't love you, he's just a freshman in high school. |
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Post by groundchuck on Jun 7, 2022 14:15:32 GMT -6
My other son who is bigger and stronger than his older brother doesn't like football. It took me a season to come to grips with that but it is OK. He excells at a different sport and loves it. That's OK.
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Post by coachd5085 on Jun 9, 2022 7:40:54 GMT -6
You are thinking of getting out of coaching because your kid doesn't want to play. Help him get a job. I'm not being a hater but this is the same situation I am in with my younger son. Don't force them to play football. He won't quit because he doesn't want a job...I have never said he had to play football specifically. I think he likes the conflict. If he is already a 2 sport athlete, aren’t they doing some type of offseason things that he would be involved in if he wasn’t a football player. Kudos to the household for fighting against sloth. |
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Post by coachwoodall on Jun 10, 2022 14:18:20 GMT -6
Simply enjoy it.
If you're a good coach, then you're a good coach. The genetic connection should not cause you to do anything differently other than to enjoy it.
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Post by s73 on Jun 11, 2022 15:34:38 GMT -6
Have any of you coached your on kid on the varsity level? I am looking for advice from folks that have been through it. I am his position coach. Not exactly what you're looking for but .....my son was a frosh in my program and I was the HC (retired at least for now). So, not as close proximity as you of course. But.....I honest to God tried to forget he was there and act as though he was just another kid. Obviously easier when he's on another field. Having said that however, he is not a football player and I could see it right away. He rarely played & I stayed out of it completely. Silver lining, he took up XC the following year and as a junior was XC MVP and captain of the track team. All this to say, IMO it's your job to coach your position and not him & things will work out the way they are supposed to just like they did for you. JMHO |
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dhj
Freshmen Member
Posts: 30
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Post by dhj on Jun 16, 2022 6:37:59 GMT -6
I coached both my sons but I was not the position coach. Best advice is once we got in the truck I was Dad not Coach. This...100%. |
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Post by bulldogsdc on Jun 27, 2022 23:01:14 GMT -6
Thank you guys! As off-season has progressed it looks like daddy ball will be in full effect. Surrounded by seniors, it is looking like he will touch the ball every play.
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Post by bluboy on Jun 28, 2022 11:40:18 GMT -6
I coached both my sons but I was not the position coach. Best advice is once we got in the truck I was Dad not Coach. This...100%. Did the same thing when my son played for the high school team I coached. He could say whatever he wanted in the car, and it stayed there. Luckily for the both of us, I did not coach him; I coached the other side of the ball. |
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Post by blb on Jun 28, 2022 12:21:47 GMT -6
I remember the late, great Marquette basketball coach Al McGuire saying that "If your kid and mine are playing the same position, yours had better be a LOT better or else mine is going to play!" That probably doesn't help you much though bulldogsdc. |
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Post by tripsclosed on Jun 29, 2022 7:15:39 GMT -6
As far as the staying with the team situations mentioned above, I get it, team first. That said, and I appear to be in the minority here, but I think the coach should go to the hospital with their son. If you werent the coach, you would probably be going with them, right? If it's serious enough for them to be going to the hospital, IMO, at that point, it's time to put the headset and playsheet down and go be dad. Especially with some injuries, you never know how serious it might be until you get to the hospital, and you never know what might transpire.
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go42
Sophomore Member
Posts: 147
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Post by go42 on Jul 2, 2022 21:17:35 GMT -6
I coached my son - he was very talented & I was convinced nobody was going to say he was playing because he was the coaches kid. As a result, I was very hard on the kid - who started 4 years at quarterback for me - he could do no right, even though he was our best player. This is a huge regret. I treated other peoples kids better than my own kid. My advice is to enjoy it and make it a positive experience for the young man. Times goes by fast & you will wish you could go back and relive those days. Your role as a dad is way more important than your role as a coach.
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