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Post by coachmacplains on Feb 1, 2006 18:44:19 GMT -6
This may seem an odd thread, but I throw it out there for any fathers who have coached theirs sons. My oldest is a sophomore and is my quarterback. He plays there because he is the best I have. In my 18 years I have never had a kid with better total offense or passing efficiency numbers. When it came time to nominate all-conference players (in our conference, coaches nominate from their own teams - strange, I know) I did not put him up. Though I did have deserving seniors who I could put up in good conscience, I probably would have put him up if he hadn't been my son, but didn't...to avoid the appearance of evil, if you will. How far do you go to be diplomatic in this? I don't think it's a big deal that he's not all-conf., but how would I justify it to him, should he ever know about it (no, I didn't tell him)? Anyone else deal with stuff like this? I'd be intersted to know how you handle it. He's really going to be the focal point of our offense in the next couple years.
An old coach that used to spank us a lot had a great situation. His two oldest boys played on a state championship for him, and they were both guards. In all sincerity, that would be a great deal....now who is gonna accuse a coach of favoritism when his sons play guard?
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Post by 53defense on Feb 1, 2006 20:12:23 GMT -6
I am not a father so i honestly do not know what it is like to coach my own son. However, the head coach here has coached all three of his own sons. Two of them are currently playing for us right now. The oldest is playing college ball at a small school. The two younger ones are very good players for our program. Both of them made all conference for us and the oldest one made all state as a DB this year(his junior year). One of the things that I have noticed since I have been here is that we will often times sit down and discuss post season selections. Our selections were made off of what the entire staff believed were the best players on our team. I feel that if the whole staff is united on the post season selections, I would not worry to much about what the community thinks. I know that is tough in a lot of small towns but throughout the years this program has been pretty consistent with putting the best players on the team up for post-season honors regardless of who the father of the player has been.
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Post by kcbazooka on Feb 1, 2006 20:25:17 GMT -6
good luck -- having a son on your team can be a great blessing or it can be a really bad experience. I have worked with a coach that has let the situation tear apart both the team and the coaching staff.
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Post by thurman on Feb 1, 2006 20:46:20 GMT -6
Our assistant Head coach will have a son next year coming in as a freshmen. I am afraid that he is going to put undue stress on our freshmen coaching staff. The kid is not at all a bad athlete, but he does not have much growth potential. His dad is only around 5'3 or so. He didnt get to play much at all last year for the junior high team and he made remarks about taking him off the team. That team was undefeated, so I would assume that it wasnt a grudge thing and that there were just some really good athletes. I just hope the situation does not turn ugly..
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champyun
Junior Member
Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.
Posts: 252
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Post by champyun on Feb 1, 2006 21:55:41 GMT -6
I am a HC (1A school) who coached my son the past 3 seasons. His first season (Soph.) he was somewhat productive for us at SS and WR. His next season (Jr.), if not for our Supt. and asst. coaches telling me that he should be our TB, I probably wouldn't have placed him there because of this same thought process - not wanting to show favoritism. He got his "shot" when the kid I started there got banged up in our 2nd game and he took over from there. He rushed for 1,249 yds. in 8 games that season and went on to rush for almost another 1,000 this season, in 9 games. I learned a valuable lesson as to stepping back and evaluating his talents for what they are - even if they are your own. Luckily, the injury "happened" or he might still be playing WR/SS.
By the way, it was a joy to coach him and I loved every minute of it. We'll miss him next season greatly.
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Post by futureqbcoach on Feb 2, 2006 7:53:50 GMT -6
First of all...if your son is on your team people are going to say you're playing favorites. no matter what you do. if you give him a ride home they're gonna point a finger. so just do the best you can. i would say that if you're picking your own all conference then either pull yourself out and let your staff do it or have everybody do it together. now im gonna tell you a wonderful story about a young boy playing tee ball. he was a hard worker and always wanted to be the best (first) at everything. all the boys were standing around waiting for practice to start when the coach said that we were going to practice sliding. he said to line up, so they all raced over to be the first in line. the boy im talking about was first in line and so proud of himself. until the coach came over and told him to go to the back of the line because he was his father and didnt want to play favorites.... guess who the boy was??? that was some trivial little event that happened to me when i was like 9 but it still bugs the hell out of me even today. so moral of the story is....dont screw your kids up in the head or their future to make townies happy. you cant make them happy anyway
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Post by coachmacplains on Feb 2, 2006 8:38:15 GMT -6
My assistant coach and I each make all-conf. selections, and I deferred to him this year. As head coach, I sometimes overrule a pick he makes if I think a kid deserves it. I could have done that here but didn't. As I say, if he hadn't been mine, I might have overruled it. I agree there is wisdom in involving assistants fully in the process.
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Post by brophy on Feb 2, 2006 8:55:20 GMT -6
First of all...if your son is on your team people are going to say you're playing favorites. no matter what you do. if you give him a ride home they're gonna point a finger. so just do the best you can. i would say that if you're picking your own all conference then either pull yourself out and let your staff do it or have everybody do it together. now im gonna tell you a wonderful story about a young boy playing tee ball. he was a hard worker and always wanted to be the best (first) at everything. all the boys were standing around waiting for practice to start when the coach said that we were going to practice sliding. he said to line up, so they all raced over to be the first in line. the boy im talking about was first in line and so proud of himself. until the coach came over and told him to go to the back of the line because he was his father and didnt want to play favorites.... guess who the boy was??? that was some trivial little event that happened to me when i was like 9 but it still bugs the hell out of me even today. so moral of the story is....dont screw your kids up in the head or their future to make townies happy. you cant make them happy anyway best advice.... |
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neil
Sophomore Member
Posts: 218
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Post by neil on Feb 2, 2006 9:20:15 GMT -6
I played for my dad for three years of varsity ball. I started JV as a sophomore, half of the season my Junior year, and the entire Senior year. I know they had people making comments behind closed doors, but my dad and I never experienced anything from anyone. I made All-district as a Senior.
I don't know how it is with your conferences but with mine I coach in now as a head coach I can't vote for my players, only nominate. No parent knows who has been nominated and if there son doesn't get it and they are upset, I tell them that I can't vote for my own players. That is the truth and it takes me off the hook.
Don't be overly concerned about the fact your son is your son, if that makes any sense. If he wasn't your son and you didn't nominate him even though he deserved it you be doing the young man an injustice. Don't hold your son to higher standard.
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Post by unc31 on Feb 2, 2006 9:45:11 GMT -6
I coached both of my sons in high school and I treated them exactly like any other player. Same demands and yet the same praise and accolades. I was no tougher on them and no more lenient on them. It was an awesome experience and we have a great time talking about their playing days when we all get together. My oldest son was not that talented but had tremendous drive and work ethic. He ended up playing at UNC. My youngest son was just a naturally gifted athlete and was an all conf and all area player. The key was that both gained the respect of their peers and their peers parents through their performance and preparation. If your son deserves post season accolades don't do him an injustice by witholding it in order to be politically correct or keep people happy. You will regret a move like that forever.
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smalls
Sophomore Member
Posts: 127
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Post by smalls on Feb 2, 2006 11:02:53 GMT -6
My dad got to coach both myself and my little brother in college. His second year as the HC was my brothers freshman year. My brother was a talented QB, but he was a fresh and there was a returning Jr who had been the backup the year before. My dad went with the other kid even though my brother was probably better. This lasted until week 4 when they lost to a team that hadn't beat them in close to 20 years. After that my brother started every game of his college career. Eventually becomming all-conference as well as the offensive player of the year one year in the conference. Facts are whether you mean to or not, chances are that you're going to be harder on your son then any other kid. Just make sure the choices you make are the best for the entire team. The best players play no matter what their last name is.
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Post by futureqbcoach on Feb 2, 2006 22:01:50 GMT -6
I feel like i just won the super bowl. Brophy said my advice was the best. YES!!!
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Post by midlineqb on Feb 3, 2006 12:50:24 GMT -6
I coached my son who was a QB. In our scrimmage we tried 7 different QB's trying to find the right one. I didn't want to start my son. In our first game we started a So. at QB and at the end of the 1st Q we brought in my son a Fr. He started the rest of his career. It was one of the toughest decisions I had to make in my coaching career. It worked out fine, not too much complaining about favoritism. My son played Div II ball in Kansas and is now an assistant in East Texas.
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Post by speedsweep on Feb 3, 2006 21:37:46 GMT -6
COACH, I HAVE BEEN ON BOTH SIDES. I STARTED FOR MY FATHER FOR 3 YEARS. MY SON HAS STARTED FOR ME THE PAST TWO YEARS. YOU SHOULD NOT GO OUT OF YOUR WAY OF MAKING A BIG DEAL ABOUT YOU SON PLAYING FOR YOU. HE PROBABLY BY NOW KNOWS THE PRESSURE YOU ARE FEELING. NATURELY, HE WILL HAVE TO PERFORM ABOVE THE STANDARD OF YOUR OTHER PLAYERS. THIS WILL PROVE TO THE PEOPLE WHO NEED TO KNOW, YOUR PLAYERS, THAT HE HAS EARNED THAT POSITION. ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN, IT WILL GO BY FAST. THE BEST ADVICE I CAN GIVE YOU IS DON'T PUT ANY ADDED PRESSURE ON HIM. AND DO NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS OR THINKS. AGAIN YOUR PLAYERS KNOW WHO SHOULD BE PLAYING. I HOPE THIS HELPS.
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Post by los on Feb 5, 2006 9:39:42 GMT -6
I coached all 3 of my sons in football and both daughters in softball and it was a great way to spend time with them, in a real life competetive atmosphere! We got to see how we all handled pressure, the perception of favoritism, victory and defeat . Since I, like most coaches will play kids in a position, based on talent and ability we never had too much griping from players and parents about playing favorites. One of my sons played center and LB, one played TE and LB, and one was a FB and DE. They were just good at different things. ONE daughter was an outfielder and the other a catcher, one a good contact hitter and the other a power hitter. Its just like any group of 5 kids, their all good at something, its up to us coaches to put the right player in the right job! If someone doesn't like your choices, let them coach the team!
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Post by los on Feb 5, 2006 9:45:44 GMT -6
Hey coach, if your son is deserving of something based on "his" hard work and ability, don't deprive him of it because he's your son! You'll both regret it I think.
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Post by coachjd on Feb 5, 2006 11:25:06 GMT -6
I cannot wait to coach my son. It think its an opportunity of a life-time. I don't know how good my son will be, but I don't care. I want him to be a part of the team, hopefully have some positive playing experiences and learn some true life long values, such as hard work, caring, team work, pride, committment, etc...
If other people want to rip my rear end apart because of my son playing for me, too bad. They can kiss my *$$, because I am not going to let this once in a lifetime opportunity escape.
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Post by los on Feb 5, 2006 11:35:05 GMT -6
Well said, jd!!!
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