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Post by fshamrock on Jan 18, 2017 14:34:12 GMT -6
I don't care if kids cry if their past actions show that they care. I get annoyed at the kid who never shows up to anything and isn't really bought in that cries after the last game.
When you really sell out for something and it doesn't go your way, it freaking hurts...cry all you want.
but if you made every excuse in the book not to work hard I don't think you should be allowed to. I have put exactly zero effort into losing weight for the past pretty much ever....I don't start bawling when I can't see my abs in the mirror
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Post by dblwngr on Jan 18, 2017 14:54:22 GMT -6
My Best Cry Story-
Had a kid who we put at the contain position on kick off. Lets just say he hated it, not because he sucked, but because he was horrified of what "might happen" if he blew his job. We had little to no numbers that year so he was the best kid for the job we could find.
So we're playing a team that had a stud kick returner and the kid proceeds to take the ball down the sideline, juke the horrified kid and off the the end zone he went down our sideline untouched.
Our kid is now chasing him, well behind him I might add, scream-crying at the top of his lungs at all the coaches as he ran by in full stride, "SEE, I TOLD YOU ALL THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN....I TOLD YOU....SEE......I TOLD YOU ALL!!!! Still crying as he chased the kid for another 30 yards or so.
I still love telling the story when all the coaches get together for a couple barley pops!
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Post by groundchuck on Jan 18, 2017 14:54:26 GMT -6
End of the year when it's all over and guys are hugging, yeah. Every year. One year though like only two seniors cried. But the juniors were in tears. We went to state the following season.
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Post by 3rdandlong on Jan 18, 2017 20:03:33 GMT -6
I have no problem with the end of the year cries or the cries after a tough loss where everyone played hard. I have problems with the cries over making a mistake at practice or in a game. I get especially bothered about the crying for lack of playing time. I don't feel sympathy for a guy who cries after a coach gives him some criticism. Once they start crying, there's not much as a coach I can do unless there's some kind of facemelter psychology to learn. The worst is when his buddies go over and start patting him on the back like if we're some kind of book club. I know I may come off as a old jerk who doesn't care about kids. That's not the case. I care a whole lot about our players but this is something that drives me bonkers.
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mhs99
Junior Member
Posts: 250
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Post by mhs99 on Jan 18, 2017 21:04:46 GMT -6
I'm sorry but I don't buy some of these answers. It really ins't OK to cry about a poor performance or losing a football game. What kind of shi* is that? It has NOTHING to do with toughness or the fact a kid "sold out" or "worked so hard", kids need to learn that crying is OK when family members die, seeing little kids struggle with cancer, family issues, etc.... not freaking football or any other sport. And please don't start with "maybe you and your kids don't value winning or take it seriously enough". Our program has won multiple titles at the highest level and I truly believe one of the reasons is our kids understand football is NOT life and death. Our kids play loose and aggressive. They do prepare like it is the most important part of high school in the winter, summer, and fall. It is important, but never worth crying over. Teach kids that if making mistakes or losing makes them mad enough to cry, they need to evaluate what they can do better in terms of preparation to perform better and win next time. Take the anger and frustration and channel it the right way instead of "letting it all out".
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Post by murdr on Jan 18, 2017 21:20:21 GMT -6
I'm sorry but I don't buy some of these answers. It really ins't OK to cry about a poor performance or losing a football game. What kind of shi* is that? It has NOTHING to do with toughness or the fact a kid "sold out" or "worked so hard", kids need to learn that crying is OK when family members die, seeing little kids struggle with cancer, family issues, etc.... not freaking football or any other sport. And please don't start with "maybe you and your kids don't value winning or take it seriously enough". Our program has won multiple titles at the highest level and I truly believe one of the reasons is our kids understand football is NOT life and death. Our kids play loose and aggressive. They do prepare like it is the most important part of high school in the winter, summer, and fall. It is important, but never worth crying over. Teach kids that if making mistakes or losing makes them mad enough to cry, they need to evaluate what they can do better in terms of preparation to perform better and win next time. Take the anger and frustration and channel it the right way instead of "letting it all out". Some kids DO see it as life and death. I did. I cried after every tough loss. Not ashamed to say it. Again, crying over something stupid makes you a {censored}. Crying over an emotional loss in football? I want more of those players. Those are the ones that care enough to give their team all they can.
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Post by KYCoach2331 on Jan 18, 2017 21:41:16 GMT -6
I'm sorry but I don't buy some of these answers. It really ins't OK to cry about a poor performance or losing a football game. What kind of shi* is that? It has NOTHING to do with toughness or the fact a kid "sold out" or "worked so hard", kids need to learn that crying is OK when family members die, seeing little kids struggle with cancer, family issues, etc.... not freaking football or any other sport. And please don't start with "maybe you and your kids don't value winning or take it seriously enough". Our program has won multiple titles at the highest level and I truly believe one of the reasons is our kids understand football is NOT life and death. Our kids play loose and aggressive. They do prepare like it is the most important part of high school in the winter, summer, and fall. It is important, but never worth crying over. Teach kids that if making mistakes or losing makes them mad enough to cry, they need to evaluate what they can do better in terms of preparation to perform better and win next time. Take the anger and frustration and channel it the right way instead of "letting it all out". Crying is something that is beyond a bodies control. It's therapeutic, removes stress related toxins from the body. I teared up after we lost in the conference championship game this year. When you're emotionally invested in something, that stuff happens.
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Post by 19delta on Jan 18, 2017 21:42:23 GMT -6
could it be related to the bobby bowden article? hmmmmm. I have seen it as well. And ive had it from really legit D1 players to chicken eaters. I even went so far as to say if you can make a player cry and he comes back, then youve got a real dude. I dont know why that is but it seems to work out. I have made a few cry. I am kind of a jerk. I don't sugar coat things and I am completely honest. Sometimes they can't handle that. With all that said I got no problem crying. The assistants actually make fun of me for it. Ive cried at the banquet when talking about a player who was graduating. I almost always break down when I address my offensive line pregame for what could be the last time. This year I couldn't even get anything out. Im like the Dick Vermiel of high school football. Football is an emotional game and football players and coaches are usually emotional guys. I don't think that is really what is being discussed in this thread. It is totally reasonable for a coach who has built a strong relationship with a kid (and vice versa) to get a little emotional at the end of the road. Or for a kid who has played his heart out in a close game to let out some emotion at the end. That is totally understandable and, to a large extent, it is desirable to have kids who care that much. I don't think the OP is talking about those kids and those situations, though. I think he is talking about the kids (and there are a lot of them) who have been told all of their lives that they are special little snowflakes and have never been told "no" and have been sheltered from anything even vaguely resembling constructive criticism. I see it in my classroom all the time. I teach 6th and 7th grade social studies. Our 5th grade teachers are NOTORIOUS for handing out "A" like candy. When we do our quarterly awards ceremony, there will be more 5th graders on the honor roll than the rest of the middle school (6-8) combined. So, when I get these kids, it's often a HUGE culture shock. Because not everyone is going to get an A. It never fails...the week before grades are due, I will get 10-15 kids coming up to me in study hall, bottom lip a-quiverin', hands a-shakin' asking what they can do to get their grades up so they can be on the honor roll. And when I tell them that there isn't anything they can do...that the grade they have is pretty much it, there are almost always tears. And within a half hour of getting home, I will have more than a couple emails from parents telling me that their precious little unicorn is crushed because they didn't make the honor roll and they deserve it because they were on it last year and "they tried really hard" (even though they often didn't). So, I think there is a difference. Genuine emotion is OK. When you see it, embrace it. Those are special kids. Those kids are your winners. But you have to be able to spot the fakers, too. Unfortunately, there are a lot more of them.
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Post by PIGSKIN11 on Jan 18, 2017 22:27:57 GMT -6
could it be related to the bobby bowden article? hmmmmm. I have seen it as well. And ive had it from really legit D1 players to chicken eaters. I even went so far as to say if you can make a player cry and he comes back, then youve got a real dude. I dont know why that is but it seems to work out. I have made a few cry. I am kind of a jerk. I don't sugar coat things and I am completely honest. Sometimes they can't handle that. With all that said I got no problem crying. The assistants actually make fun of me for it. Ive cried at the banquet when talking about a player who was graduating. I almost always break down when I address my offensive line pregame for what could be the last time. This year I couldn't even get anything out. Im like the Dick Vermiel of high school football. You stole my nickname My assistants call me Dick for many reasons haha, but always refer to me as Vermeil because I express my emotions often when addressing my team... after wins after losses end of practice when discussing life and its lessons pregame of game 1 postgame of game 13 anywhere in between... does not matter Sh!t, even the newspapers guy give me crap for it... I do not care... It is absolutely OK to play and coach with emotion as long as you do not become emotional - that line is when the emotion controls you and does not allow you to do what is expected of you... I am in control and I love my teams... we express that love and we share our emotions... I know this is different than what you all were complaining about but it important to remember how much time, effort, energy, and love we put into this sport - it is easy to have emotion.... By the way, I currently coach at the HS where Vermeil started his coaching career haha - makes it better haha
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mhs99
Junior Member
Posts: 250
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Post by mhs99 on Jan 21, 2017 16:35:47 GMT -6
I understand what some of you are getting at about emotional investment and having tight relationships with kids, but Again as educators coaches should be teaching kids to prioritize things that cause them to be so emotionally attached that they cry over wins and losses or performance. Football is not on the top hierarchy of things kids should get emotional enough about that the bawl after a game. Going off many of your premises, kids are invested and emotionally attached to girlfriends...should they cry when that relationship ends. Teaching coping skills and how to create success blueprints after losses and/or poor performance should be what we aim for in the coaching profession. This is equitable to failure at work; don't dwell, get emotional, use the failure to fuel success. Emotional investment is understood, but please stop crying.
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Post by carookie on Jan 21, 2017 17:05:26 GMT -6
I understand what some of you are getting at about emotional investment and having tight relationships with kids, but Again as educators coaches should be teaching kids to prioritize things that cause them to be so emotionally attached that they cry over wins and losses or performance. Football is not on the top hierarchy of things kids should get emotional enough about that the bawl after a game. Going off many of your premises, kids are invested and emotionally attached to girlfriends...should they cry when that relationship ends. Teaching coping skills and how to create success blueprints after losses and/or poor performance should be what we aim for in the coaching profession. This is equitable to failure at work; don't dwell, get emotional, use the failure to fuel success. Emotional investment is understood, but please stop crying. Yeah, I think a lot of posters just read the thread title and a post or two and then assumed what they wanted the discussion to be about. The OP, and those that initially came after, were about kids crying over silly things; I think you did a good job of re-establishing that in this post. Its like if my daughter cries because she sprains an ankle then Im okay with that (she is 5 and that is acceptable); if she cries because someone ate the last cookie, then we have a problem and I will tell her thats not something to cry about. The point of this thread was that the OP was noticing kids crying over things that we tend to not feel are worthy of crying about; although to be fair I have not noticed that where I am at.
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Post by 19delta on Jan 21, 2017 18:13:13 GMT -6
I understand what some of you are getting at about emotional investment and having tight relationships with kids, but Again as educators coaches should be teaching kids to prioritize things that cause them to be so emotionally attached that they cry over wins and losses or performance. Football is not on the top hierarchy of things kids should get emotional enough about that the bawl after a game. Going off many of your premises, kids are invested and emotionally attached to girlfriends...should they cry when that relationship ends. Teaching coping skills and how to create success blueprints after losses and/or poor performance should be what we aim for in the coaching profession. This is equitable to failure at work; don't dwell, get emotional, use the failure to fuel success. Emotional investment is understood, but please stop crying. If a kid cries after a tough game, it doesn't mean he is an emotional wreck who won't be able to handle challenges in the future. That's just a stupid statement. There's plenty of guys who post on this very website who have cried and are successful adults.
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Post by fantom on Jan 21, 2017 18:20:05 GMT -6
I understand what some of you are getting at about emotional investment and having tight relationships with kids, but Again as educators coaches should be teaching kids to prioritize things that cause them to be so emotionally attached that they cry over wins and losses or performance. Football is not on the top hierarchy of things kids should get emotional enough about that the bawl after a game. Going off many of your premises, kids are invested and emotionally attached to girlfriends...should they cry when that relationship ends. Teaching coping skills and how to create success blueprints after losses and/or poor performance should be what we aim for in the coaching profession. This is equitable to failure at work; don't dwell, get emotional, use the failure to fuel success. Emotional investment is understood, but please stop crying. If a kid cries after a tough game, it doesn't mean he is an emotional wreck who won't be able to handle challenges in the future. That's just a stupid statement. There's plenty of guys who post on this very website who have cried and are successful adults. We're trying to make men out of them but they're not there yet. They're kids. They're loaded with hormones and at varying levels in their emotional maturity.
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Post by CS on Jan 21, 2017 18:22:00 GMT -6
Not high school kids. Had a few 7thgraders cry and one that sh!t his pants because we were conditioning.
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mhs99
Junior Member
Posts: 250
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Post by mhs99 on Jan 21, 2017 22:54:24 GMT -6
I understand what some of you are getting at about emotional investment and having tight relationships with kids, but Again as educators coaches should be teaching kids to prioritize things that cause them to be so emotionally attached that they cry over wins and losses or performance. Football is not on the top hierarchy of things kids should get emotional enough about that the bawl after a game. Going off many of your premises, kids are invested and emotionally attached to girlfriends...should they cry when that relationship ends. Teaching coping skills and how to create success blueprints after losses and/or poor performance should be what we aim for in the coaching profession. This is equitable to failure at work; don't dwell, get emotional, use the failure to fuel success. Emotional investment is understood, but please stop crying. If a kid cries after a tough game, it doesn't mean he is an emotional wreck who won't be able to handle challenges in the future. That's just a stupid statement. There's plenty of guys who post on this very website who have cried and are successful adults. Not sure about "stupid statement". Again your kids want to cry wonderful. I think coaches need to explain to kids spill your guts, but if your kids are crying about losing a regular season game (I get last game of career stuff) there is something wrong there. We just explain there are other things a lot more important to be shedding tears about. I think most coaches will tell you a lot of the crying is fake emotional stuff from kids for attention or because they "are so dedicated". Sorry I offended your sensitivity delta but as a teacher and coach the last thing kids needs these days is to think becoming overly emotional after games is fine because football is the singular part of a kids life and being. Balance.
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Post by PSS on Jan 22, 2017 9:20:09 GMT -6
MHS, this is not just a athletic issue. It's an issue that every boy goes through. As I stated in my first post, once our kids were able to express their feelings and emotions to each other then our team culture changed. They played for each other. They literally became a family. It is now spilling over to the other athletic programs and the school.
I'm posting another video that shows the importance of kids expressing their emotions. Again, we are in a different era than we were 20 years ago. Times and kids have change. We have an opportunity to save these kids and make them successful adults and productive citizens. That should be the ultimate goal of all coaches and teachers.
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Post by 19delta on Jan 22, 2017 9:35:51 GMT -6
If a kid cries after a tough game, it doesn't mean he is an emotional wreck who won't be able to handle challenges in the future. That's just a stupid statement. There's plenty of guys who post on this very website who have cried and are successful adults. Not sure about "stupid statement". Again your kids want to cry wonderful. I think coaches need to explain to kids spill your guts, but if your kids are crying about losing a regular season game (I get last game of career stuff) there is something wrong there. We just explain there are other things a lot more important to be shedding tears about. I think most coaches will tell you a lot of the crying is fake emotional stuff from kids for attention or because they "are so dedicated". Sorry I offended your sensitivity delta but as a teacher and coach the last thing kids needs these days is to think becoming overly emotional after games is fine because football is the singular part of a kids life and being. Balance. I was at a wrestling tournament yesterday. There were some tears after matches. Not a lot. But it did happen. Kids who had worked hard gave it their best shot and came up short and it hurt. About 99% of the time I saw kids tear up, that kid still shook hands with the other wrestler and the other wrestler's coach. Then, he went over to his own coach to talk briefly about the match. And within a couple minutes, the kid had collected himself and was good to go the rest of the day. About 1% of the time, the kid was completely inconsolable after a loss. I'm talking foot-stomping meltdown. Throwing down the ankle strap, storming off the mat and in some cases, right out of the gym. No handshakes. No attention paid to the coach. One of those reactions to a tough loss is reasonable and even expected. The other reaction is clearly not. But there is a world of difference between the two. Kids should be discouraged from crying over stupid things. But not everything that makes kids cry is stupid. Good coaches know the difference.
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Post by larrymoe on Jan 22, 2017 10:14:01 GMT -6
I will add this, the most crying over non injuries I have seen lately has been at my son's youth sports (he is currently 9). There would be 1-2 instances of kids crying per game last year for little league following a strike out or error, and this past week I went to the restroom at half time of his basketball game (which they were down big) and the team's pg was in in their crying and throwing a fit. I remember when I was at that age if you failed you went back and tried again, but then again I don't remember so many parents freaking out in the crowd (maybe its just my perspective now). That stuff didn't happen when I was that age. Mostly because besides little league baseball, there were no organized youth sports.
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Post by mariner42 on Jan 22, 2017 11:54:36 GMT -6
MHS, this is not just a athletic issue. It's an issue that every boy goes through. As I stated in my first post, once our kids were able to express their feelings and emotions to each other then our team culture changed. They played for each other. They literally became a family. It is now spilling over to the other athletic programs and the school. I'm posting another video that shows the importance of kids expressing their emotions. Again, we are in a different era than we were 20 years ago. Times and kids have change. We have an opportunity to save these kids and make them successful adults and productive citizens. That should be the ultimate goal of all coaches and teachers. This documentary is available on Netflix and should be required viewing for coaches in all sports.
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