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Post by 3rdandlong on Jan 17, 2017 16:39:37 GMT -6
Last season I saw more kids cry than any of my other 11 years of being a coach. When I talked to a coach from another program this morning, he said he had the same issue. I'm not talking about crying after a tough loss but weeping for reasons that would make one really question their mental toughness. Here are some of the reasons for crying I saw: -throwing a pick (same kid cried twice), -fumbling -Getting sternly reprimanded by coach at practice (3 different players) -a sprained finger -being told to pick up his grades by a coach -not getting enough playing time in a game.
Is this something you guys are seeing more of?
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Post by mrjvi on Jan 17, 2017 16:43:12 GMT -6
I try to ignore it or I might lose my lunch.
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Post by 3rdandlong on Jan 17, 2017 16:45:30 GMT -6
I almost went full blown Tom hanks in a league of their own
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Post by coachbdud on Jan 17, 2017 16:51:35 GMT -6
yes this team was the biggest group of cry babies i have ever seen
if we got down by a TD we would have 3-4 kids crying
i swear one of our LBs was crying on the field while playing multiple times emotional wreck
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Post by NC1974 on Jan 17, 2017 16:53:00 GMT -6
Could be entitlement culture, could be parents that are too involved and breathing down their necks, but this seems to be something where we could possibly have a positive influence by educating these kids how to react more appropriately.
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Post by dytmook on Jan 17, 2017 17:14:34 GMT -6
Other than getting hurt and end of the year emotions I can't think of it happening. The injuries sometimes weren't so severe, but they were at least initially scary so you could see why they reacted that way at first.
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Post by carookie on Jan 17, 2017 17:31:15 GMT -6
Nope, havent seen that stuff at all; and I have been at upper middle class, predominantly white (dare I write 'Snowflake') schools.
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Post by coolhandluke on Jan 17, 2017 17:36:18 GMT -6
Best kid I ever coached cried at practice a few times when he got frustrated, it was kind of unnerving at first. Now he is graduating from West Point this May and will be a career military man. I swore he would never make it at West Point after the first time he cried his junior year. Proved me wrong. Plus there's this: www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2011/10/players-cry.aspx
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Post by tabs52 on Jan 17, 2017 18:15:16 GMT -6
I am glad I am not the only one who has gone through this. I had more kids cry then I did when I coached little baseball and the kid struck out. I understand the emotion of football and believe I have cried as a player and a coach but to cry like the kids I had this was crazy. I had kids cry in the middle of the game b/c the got taken out, or it didn't go the way it was suppose to. The crazy part it was my young guys either, it was seniors. The freshmen on my team looked at them like they were crazy
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Post by ahall005 on Jan 17, 2017 19:07:11 GMT -6
We have had a lot of this in the last few years for the same reasons a lot of you have. Fumbling, throwing a pic, coaches getting on them at practice. I didn't set the edge because I got blocked (im not making that up). In a snow game because his hands were too cold.
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Post by KYCoach2331 on Jan 17, 2017 19:29:51 GMT -6
Other than after a tough loss we only had one cry and that's because we wouldn't put him back in after he was concussed. That was because he was being shouted at by his father to go back in.
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Post by hunhdisciple on Jan 17, 2017 19:41:53 GMT -6
I've only seen kids cry from pretty big injuries and end of career games.
I don't really have an issue with kids getting frustrated, within reason. People process emotions differently. I'm not much of a crier, so those moments are few and far between for me.
Kids crying over "little kid" things, however, is a bit much.
Although, my first year, we did have a kid cry after throwing a pick-6 on our very first snap. Not because he was frustrated, but because he was legitimately scared of the other team.
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Post by coachdubyah on Jan 17, 2017 19:53:27 GMT -6
I had one cry during practice and he told me it was because his medication makes him overly emotional. I was just like...ok. If it gets too much I'll send them away so they can pull it together. Game or practice.
On a positive side, I used to coach a kid that now plays FBS football. When this kid cried before a game (typically on the sideline) I knew he was about to have a great game. He did.
Coach that recruited him told me that he still does. He will be a Sr next season and may be a late round draft pick.
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Post by gian3074 on Jan 17, 2017 21:33:20 GMT -6
I've seen one player cry in my short career, and this kid was an 8th grader. It was before the half and we were not doing well and the OL couldn't block worth a s*h*i*t. We called a play action, he got chased immediately because no one blocked and he threw a bad pick because of the pressure. I think he just lost his cool because he was the only one at that moment who seemed to give a damn.
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Post by The Lunch Pail on Jan 18, 2017 8:11:17 GMT -6
I coached 7-8 grade last year and I never saw so many tears on a field in my life. We saw kids crying from frustration the most (coming to the sideline sobbing because the other guy is holding). I don't want to just say it's a generational thing because I am what you could call a "millennial" and I only cried twice on the field: when I took a facemask to the ribs as a freshman on OSKO by an all-state senior LB, and my last game. I wasn't some tough guy either. I always thought it was frowned upon for guys to cry
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Post by mariner42 on Jan 18, 2017 8:53:25 GMT -6
I always thought it was frowned upon for guys to cry At the risk of revealing myself to be the new age, liberal pansy that I am, this is why I would never chastise or demean a player for crying. Crying is healthy. Obviously it has a proper time or place, but it's our job to teach them that. After losing our playoff game the majority of our team cried, even freshmen who were only brought up for a few weeks. That's healthy and natural and I look at it as the sign of a team who cares about each other. Crying because you missed a block and got frustrated I can understand. That's a kid who cares, he just needs to learn to redirect that emotion. Shoot, I broke down and cries in my car after practice when I was 25 because I was so frustrated with being yelled at by my HC. Too much emotion with nowhere to go. Crying from pain is immature but again, I get it. I welled up when having an ingrown toe worked on, no shame there. I dunno. It's obviously not what we want because we would prefer teams of composed kids, but I don't think it's something to squash and destroy.
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Post by carookie on Jan 18, 2017 9:03:34 GMT -6
I will add this, the most crying over non injuries I have seen lately has been at my son's youth sports (he is currently 9). There would be 1-2 instances of kids crying per game last year for little league following a strike out or error, and this past week I went to the restroom at half time of his basketball game (which they were down big) and the team's pg was in in their crying and throwing a fit.
I remember when I was at that age if you failed you went back and tried again, but then again I don't remember so many parents freaking out in the crowd (maybe its just my perspective now).
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Post by StraightFlexin on Jan 18, 2017 9:04:10 GMT -6
In my experience the criers are always the half-assers. Kids that do very little or half of whats expected. Its never the dedicated kid that gives all that they can. Again, just from my experience.
Never really understood the crying thing, but then my father said only girls cry
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Post by natenator on Jan 18, 2017 9:28:27 GMT -6
Had my QB bawling his eyes to my during halftime of a game. He was upset because I yelled at him to shut his mouth during the game.
He was shouting to the sidelines/me that he couldn't do anything (due to our poor offensive line). Knowing that our kids knew he was talking about them I told him to shut his mouth.
He was quite upset with me that I would speak to him in such a manner. I asked him how it felt for me to do to him what he had done all season. He didn't get it
Irony lol
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Post by Deleted on Jan 18, 2017 12:12:07 GMT -6
Nope, havent seen that stuff at all; and I have been at upper middle class, predominantly white (dare I write 'Snowflake') schools. You and I actually might be on the same coaching staff and not know it. I had one kid on JV (freshmen) that had busted his tail all summer, finally got into a game and promptly fumbled on his first play. I know he's sort of an emotionally fragile kid and the waterworks started as he was running off the field. I just hollered at him that we don't cry on our football field, we make other teams cry. Then I sent him right back out to play cornerback and didn't give him a chance to dwell on it. After the game his parents tracked me down and I thought, "Oh boy, here we go." They told me that the boy had been in therapy for years to overcome his issues but they felt like me doing what I did created more progress in him than two years of therapy had done combined. So that was a win.
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Post by PSS on Jan 18, 2017 12:44:30 GMT -6
Some of you may need to watch this. It goes a long way to building culture in your program. I can speak from first had experience.
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Post by coachfloyd on Jan 18, 2017 13:02:37 GMT -6
could it be related to the bobby bowden article? hmmmmm.
I have seen it as well. And ive had it from really legit D1 players to chicken eaters. I even went so far as to say if you can make a player cry and he comes back, then youve got a real dude. I dont know why that is but it seems to work out.
I have made a few cry. I am kind of a jerk. I don't sugar coat things and I am completely honest. Sometimes they can't handle that.
With all that said I got no problem crying. The assistants actually make fun of me for it. Ive cried at the banquet when talking about a player who was graduating. I almost always break down when I address my offensive line pregame for what could be the last time. This year I couldn't even get anything out. Im like the Dick Vermiel of high school football.
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Post by tothehouse on Jan 18, 2017 13:12:00 GMT -6
Week 3 this year. We're leading all game. We lose in double OT. My son is our QB. He throws a dart to the back of the end zone on 3rd and forever in the 1st OT. Basically saves the game for us at that moment. We tie it to go the 2nd OT. Crap out at the end (especially defensively)
After the game...I go in the locker room. I'm seeking my kid out. I find him taking tape off, etc. I catch his eye...and he collapses in my arms and starts bawling. I mean bawling his eyes out. After he soaks my shirt he looks up and says..."I wanted to win that so bad Dad." I said..."You didn't need to tell me that. I could tell by the way you played". He cried for an hour.
Part of his tears were because he's old school and knows the history of the program. He knows we compete well against this particular team and have hard fought games. He knows that the last two times we had played them (over 10 years earlier) that our team had won. He didn't want to let anyone lose to this team.
I also...might go the other way on this a little...and will say that I don't see kids cry enough. As if it didn't matter to them. That really pisses me off.
I understand the little..."my finger hurts" crying might be more of an issue now as well. Probably needs to go in another thread about building toughness. Make things hard...so the little hurty things don't phase you...but working your ass off and losing hurts...and probably should be cried about.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 18, 2017 13:22:08 GMT -6
Week 3 this year. We're leading all game. We lose in double OT. My son is our QB. He throws a dart to the back of the end zone on 3rd and forever in the 1st OT. Basically saves the game for us at that moment. We tie it to go the 2nd OT. Crap out at the end (especially defensively) After the game...I go in the locker room. I'm seeking my kid out. I find him taking tape off, etc. I catch his eye...and he collapses in my arms and starts bawling. I mean bawling his eyes out. After he soaks my shirt he looks up and says..."I wanted to win that so bad Dad." I said..."You didn't need to tell me that. I could tell by the way you played". He cried for an hour. Part of his tears were because he's old school and knows the history of the program. He knows we compete well against this particular team and have hard fought games. He knows that the last two times we had played them (over 10 years earlier) that our team had won. He didn't want to let anyone lose to this team. I also...might go the other way on this a little...and will say that I don't see kids cry enough. As if it didn't matter to them. That really pisses me off.I understand the little..."my finger hurts" crying might be more of an issue now as well. Probably needs to go in another thread about building toughness. Make things hard...so the little hurty things don't phase you...but working your ass off and losing hurts...and probably should be cried about. I've got no problem with a kid crying for the "right" reasons - your son sounds like one of them, it's the kids that cry for stupid reasons that get me. The part of your post that I bolded - I get that. After we got bounced out of playoffs this year we had about a dozen guys crying. Some of them had left it ALL out on the field, all season long. Those guys, I get it, I actually choked up a bit along with them. But we also some guys crying that were lazy all season - one guy in the locker room before the game actually said, "Man, do you guys realize if we win tonight we have to practice for another week?" - I have no patience for those kids. I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying something unkind to them.
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Post by **** on Jan 18, 2017 13:26:23 GMT -6
Some of you may need to watch this. It goes a long way to building culture in your program. I can speak from first had experience. A lot of this is what is in the 3D coaching book by Jeff Duke. Good book.
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Post by The Lunch Pail on Jan 18, 2017 13:54:30 GMT -6
I always thought it was frowned upon for guys to cry At the risk of revealing myself to be the new age, liberal pansy that I am, this is why I would never chastise or demean a player for crying. Crying is healthy. Obviously it has a proper time or place, but it's our job to teach them that. After losing our playoff game the majority of our team cried, even freshmen who were only brought up for a few weeks. That's healthy and natural and I look at it as the sign of a team who cares about each other. Crying because you missed a block and got frustrated I can understand. That's a kid who cares, he just needs to learn to redirect that emotion. Shoot, I broke down and cries in my car after practice when I was 25 because I was so frustrated with being yelled at by my HC. Too much emotion with nowhere to go. Crying from pain is immature but again, I get it. I welled up when having an ingrown toe worked on, no shame there. I dunno. It's obviously not what we want because we would prefer teams of composed kids, but I don't think it's something to squash and destroy. I don't think you're a pansy if you think crying is healthy. I'd also like to say that last sentence you quoted came out wrong. I am a psych major. I completely understand that it's healthy to cry. Bottling up emotions are not healthy or natural for the human body. What I was saying is that some of my kids cry as a go-to reaction to anything that involves releasing emotion. My kids are either laughing or crying. It's odd. My starting center was a mean SOB on the field, but I remember one time he cried because he didn't hear the playcall and got confused. The millennial generation is filled with people who are Type-A personalities. This means that they are driven and competitive while also being impatient and stressed out. Obviously we're all dealing with teenage kids, so they're all stressed out about something. They're constantly insecure, worried about girls, etc. But I think some of our "helicopter" parents like we see so much of today put so much expectations onto these kids when they don't know how to handle them. I understand every now and then why some of these kids need a moment to take a deep breath and calm down for a second. I don't hate kids crying, but I'd just prefer that kids released their emotions in a positive manner, and take all negative emotions out onto the opponent. For some, crying works. One of my best buddies is a LT who would teleport people when he blocked them. It was almost funny what he would do to people on the field. But he was very emotional. If he didn't shed a few tears during the Lord's Prayer, he wasn't having a good game.
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Post by coolhandluke on Jan 18, 2017 13:56:24 GMT -6
Some of you may need to watch this. It goes a long way to building culture in your program. I can speak from first had experience. A lot of this is what is in the 3D coaching book by Jeff Duke. Good book. This is great, as is the book about his journey entitled "Season of Life". I learned alot from the book where he talks about the fallacies of manhood and have spent time with my players addressing these fallacies of masculinity.
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Post by PSS on Jan 18, 2017 13:59:57 GMT -6
Anders, you are correct. Our staff went through the 3D training last Spring. Very good and informative. These two things along with Coaching Greatness seminar changed the way our staff approached coaching. It has helped us changed the culture of the entire athletic program.
When you build relationship with kids, there is more caring for each other as individuals. You don't see your athletes as just athletes. You know what is going on in their lives because they will share it with you. Crying is a natural response to a hurt, emotional or physical. Both need to be treated with the same care. If you want to have an impact on a generation of young people and make a difference then the best way to do it is by being a coach that cares more about coaching than X's & O's.
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Post by coachcb on Jan 18, 2017 14:08:09 GMT -6
It drives me nuts but I don't care if it doesn't affect their performance. It's fine if you throw a pick and bawl your eyes out but don't let it happen again.
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lmorris
Sophomore Member
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Post by lmorris on Jan 18, 2017 14:29:31 GMT -6
lmao I got griped at by the health teacher at my last school.....
Story goes,
Little boy at my house playing with my daughters, one of my daughters hit the other daughter with a stick....I take stick away and throw it in back of my truck. Reasonable thing I thought. Little boy starts bawling uncontrollably. I ask him whats wrong several times, can't understand a word he is saying until my daughter informs me I threw away his saber, "a type of sword dad." So I asked him if he was hurt, to which he responded "yes." I asked what was hurt, and he said, "my feelings" I couldn't help it, I got down on his level and said, "boys don't have feelings"(picture tom hanks theirs no crying in baseball line) He manages to get himself under control and we go about our day.
I made the mistake of telling a couple of my football players the story....needless to say the health teacher just happened to be doing a lesson on feelings. One of my football players raises his hand and informs the health teacher, that boys don't have feelings......
Which brings us back to the top of the post, i got griped at by the health teacher, but honestly don't remember much crying or whining after that.
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