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Post by Coach Bennett on Mar 14, 2016 6:41:51 GMT -6
His reply pretty much ended the conversation.
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Post by wolverine55 on Mar 14, 2016 11:21:36 GMT -6
A coach actually said this, but too funny not to share. Our freshmen football team went 1-7 this year and were either 0-4 or 0-5 at the time of this exchange. We have two freshmen players whose names are Godd Praonus and Jesus Nuno. I get a text from the freshmen coach one day saying, "I really am a horrible coach. I have God and Jesus on my team and I still can't win a game!"
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Post by funkfriss on Mar 14, 2016 15:02:47 GMT -6
Literally 10 minutes ago had a kid in my room talking about doing a different lift with his dad at the local gym. One of his arguments to justify it, "We do more lifting than we do in the team lift. When we bench we go 8-6-4-2 with our reps, but the team just does 3x5 and some weeks only 3x3. We're actually lifting 4 times as much this way!"
I was speechless....
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Post by wibblemonkey on Mar 18, 2016 11:19:43 GMT -6
Coaching University in the UK, most of the kids we get have never played before, heck some of them have never seen a game before, but just want to try something new.
Anyway, one of the first classroom sessions tends to be to give the guys a bit of an understanding of football, terminology we use and such. One part of of this talk we're covering the things the team provides, and what the players need to provide themselves (i.e. socks, cleats etc). One of the things we tell them they need them to provide themselves is a gum shield (mouth guard). When we get to the end of the talk I ask if there's any questions and a Portuguese exchange student gingerly puts his hand up and asks the question,
"What is the thing you need us to bring? A Cum Shot?".
That kid now had his nickname sorted for the year. Don't even remember his actual name, decent Linebacker though.
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Post by coachphillip on Mar 18, 2016 11:47:23 GMT -6
When the kids squat and they don't put enough weight up because they're lazy, I'll tease them and say "I know you can lift more than that. I see the girls you talk to." They laugh and put some decent weight on the bar.
New kid comes out for football and is lifting for the first time. His buddy (varsity returner) tells him when he puts weight on the bar, "You're lucky coach hasn't seen your girl or we wouldn't have enough weights in here to get through your workout." Lmao.
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Post by The Lunch Pail on Mar 22, 2016 15:13:30 GMT -6
In baseball, one of our coaches told a kid to get him a bucket of curveballs. Poor kid was looking for 30 minutes
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DLgaDC
Freshmen Member
Posts: 80
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Post by DLgaDC on Mar 22, 2016 15:57:12 GMT -6
That's like telling a kid to go get the "option footballs". That's funny nike
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bdm
Sophomore Member
Posts: 104
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Post by bdm on Mar 23, 2016 10:13:25 GMT -6
Had a teacher at the first place I worked at send kids to the office asking for left handed pencils poor kids every semester where in office asking anybody that would listen, but still funny
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Post by John Knight on Mar 23, 2016 10:25:58 GMT -6
We had a kid come out as a senior when I was in high school. He tried to talk to my dad who was helping with summer camp and Dad couldn't understand him. The kid spit out his mouth piece and he had molded it to his bottom teeth! My dad fell down laughing!
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Post by coachcotner on Mar 23, 2016 13:49:45 GMT -6
A coach actually said this, but too funny not to share. Our freshmen football team went 1-7 this year and were either 0-4 or 0-5 at the time of this exchange. We have two freshmen players whose names are Godd Praonus and Jesus Nuno. I get a text from the freshmen coach one day saying, "I really am a horrible coach. I have God and Jesus on my team and I still can't win a game!" Oh this one was good lol
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Post by coachwoodall on Mar 24, 2016 14:35:57 GMT -6
Had a teacher at the first place I worked at send kids to the office asking for left handed pencils poor kids every semester where in office asking anybody that would listen, but still funny Every year about week 2, I'll pop into a class down the hall right before the tardy bell when that teacher is scooting to the bath room, and I'll holler, "Mrs So-n-so wants everybody in room 301 Pronto!" And high tail it back to my room. Of course those kids will follow me even though they were sitting in room 301.
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Post by knightfan64 on Mar 25, 2016 6:19:10 GMT -6
Told a jv offensive lineman to widen out his split on the OL. He stretched his legs out to the point where he couldn't go any farther without doing a split, and asked was that wide enough.....
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Post by John Knight on Mar 30, 2016 6:14:58 GMT -6
This is probably a coach though, probably a DC !
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Post by rosey65 on Mar 30, 2016 6:30:19 GMT -6
This is probably a coach though, probably a DC ! I think he's a DC at several schools around me. He's the kind of guy who causes us to send gift baskets to their AD for keeping him around
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