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Post by CatsCoach on Aug 15, 2013 10:41:15 GMT -6
Here is an email I got from my team mom this morning!
"Parents are getting upset over the "good old boy" treatment. Meaning the coaches kids getting positions they can't do and in some caeses the kid doesn't want to do. I think a kid should be asked what position they want and then try out for it. Kids tend to try harder for what they want. Unfortunately, if you ask them on the spot in front of their parents, they won't say what they want. To make things simple, if a kid doesn't do the position well, find a new kid for the position. Thought I'd bring that to your attention before you start losing players."
The funny thing is out of us 5 coaches only two of us have kids on the team. One the coaches kids, plays C and LB the other does play QB and has played it for the last 4 years and right now we don't have another QB which does concern me!! Also out of the 18 kids on the team we have 8 rookies, and out of those 7 only two of them I am not worried about...the other well need a lot of work. And of the 18 we only have 4 skill players and I'm not counting my QB
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Post by cqmiller on Aug 15, 2013 11:09:03 GMT -6
Welcome to 2013 coach... I had a 9th grader that was going to come play on our team (not a great HS program with not good record over last 10 years and low numbers) who was DEFINITELY a DL if he was LUCKY. Left to try to play QB at a school that cut over 200 kids from their 9th/10th grade level this year.
Everyone blows smoke up kids' butts and they think they are all RG3 or Tom Brady by the time they are 10. Frustrating!!!
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Post by tigercoach11 on Aug 16, 2013 9:00:08 GMT -6
I know this may not be quite relevant to the youth situation but I let our guys that want to "try" a new position rep a little during our summer field work times. Sometimes its me telling them too so I can look and see if they fit there and sometimes I have the obvious OL/DL guy that wants to be a corner lol...so I give him a few reps against our fastest WR and let him see why he does what he does. However, our 6'5 285 lb NG/OT has really good feet and a decent arm (he wanted to be a FB) so we let him try but knew we needed him where he was...but bc he showed so good we put in an UB direct snap package for him in short yardage and it is quite effective, so you really never know.
Depending on how much time you have maybe the first day you do stations (blocking/running/throwing etc..) and let every kid try then set them accordingly, some may surprise you. BUT DONT GET ME WRONG OUR PLAYERS UNDERSTAND THEY WILL PLAY WHERE THEY ARE NEEDED FIRST AND IF ITS ALSO WHERE THEY WANT THEN ITS DUMB LUCK IF NOT GET OVER IT.
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Post by mahonz on Aug 16, 2013 10:12:17 GMT -6
Here is an email I got from my team mom this morning! "Parents are getting upset over the "good old boy" treatment. Meaning the coaches kids getting positions they can't do and in some caeses the kid doesn't want to do. I think a kid should be asked what position they want and then try out for it. Kids tend to try harder for what they want. Unfortunately, if you ask them on the spot in front of their parents, they won't say what they want. To make things simple, if a kid doesn't do the position well, find a new kid for the position. Thought I'd bring that to your attention before you start losing players." The funny thing is out of us 5 coaches only two of us have kids on the team. One the coaches kids, plays C and LB the other does play QB and has played it for the last 4 years and right now we don't have another QB which does concern me!! Also out of the 18 kids on the team we have 8 rookies, and out of those 7 only two of them I am not worried about...the other well need a lot of work. And of the 18 we only have 4 skill players and I'm not counting my QB That is very insulting to your own intelligence. Why would any coach put any player in a position to fail? Why would any coach waste time trying out an obvious NG at CB....a RB at OG. Its not like you have all the time in the world to burn just to appease these visions that dance in some of these parents heads....ESPECIALLY rookie parents that are used to little Johnny playing every position on a sokker field....football is the consummate team sport and the kids play for their team....not mom or dad or even themselves. Its why they wear a number... and not a name. Sounds like an all hands meeting is in order too me...crush this coc- a-roach right now.
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Post by spos21ram on Aug 16, 2013 11:54:19 GMT -6
My girlfriend's son started pee wee's last year and to be honest I somewhat agree with what this woman is saying. I coach HS and keep my mouth shut when watching practice and games, but all the coachs' sons play qb, halfback, fullback, etc. and they don't even try new kids at these positions at the beginning. They don't even ask the kids where they would like to play. If after a few practices they show they can't play these positions then by all means move them to where u feel is best.
I'm only speaking about the youth organization in my town obviously. Don't know what it's like elsewhere.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using proboards
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Post by coachbdud on Aug 16, 2013 12:05:58 GMT -6
This issue generally comes up in 2 ways
QB- most high profile position on the field, everyone thinks their kid is a QB
And fat kids who want to be skills
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Post by coachmoore42 on Aug 16, 2013 20:19:29 GMT -6
This is always an issue...and an e-mail like this is usually the result. Parent A and, his/her best friend, Parent B have a discussion. Suddenly, this is a team-wide issue, in their minds at least, so you must address it now.
Here's how you respond to this e-mail, or any like this for that matter: "Thank you for sharing your concerns. I will take them into consideration."
The more they say, the less you say. If you address each point, you will get a reply that is longer than the first e-mail. She didn't ask any questions, so she needs no response to any of her comments. Her real issue probably stems from what Coach Dudley said, she wants her son to play QB, or "upgrade" from OL to a "skill" position.
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Post by CatsCoach on Aug 17, 2013 7:50:11 GMT -6
Thanks for all the responses coaches! I sent out a short and to the point email yesterday morning to kill this real quick! Not one parent reply back. At the age group(14-16)that I am at coaching these kid already know what position they are at this point for the most part! Funny thing is most of the parent don't come and watch practice and I sure that most don't know which two are the coaches kids. Has the HC I don't have a kid on the team.
Thanks again,
Coach Smith
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Post by 33coach on Aug 17, 2013 12:14:02 GMT -6
Here is an email I got from my team mom this morning! "Parents are getting upset over the "good old boy" treatment. Meaning the coaches kids getting positions they can't do and in some caeses the kid doesn't want to do. I think a kid should be asked what position they want and then try out for it. Kids tend to try harder for what they want. Unfortunately, if you ask them on the spot in front of their parents, they won't say what they want. To make things simple, if a kid doesn't do the position well, find a new kid for the position. Thought I'd bring that to your attention before you start losing players." The funny thing is out of us 5 coaches only two of us have kids on the team. One the coaches kids, plays C and LB the other does play QB and has played it for the last 4 years and right now we don't have another QB which does concern me!! Also out of the 18 kids on the team we have 8 rookies, and out of those 7 only two of them I am not worried about...the other well need a lot of work. And of the 18 we only have 4 skill players and I'm not counting my QB parents will always complain...tell them this: im the coach, i decide positions, i will not discuss depth chart with parents. if you feel that i am making a wrong decision, feel free to take the team over next season.this is the start of my first parent meeting, every year. so far. no parent has stepped up to take over.....
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Post by coachphillip on Aug 17, 2013 14:17:29 GMT -6
Parents more worried about being coaches than being parents. Happens every year.
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Post by coachcb on Aug 18, 2013 12:35:45 GMT -6
My response:
"Please tell the players in question to come visit with the coaching staff. It is against our policy to discuss anything with a parent before a player has addressed it. The staff and I need to develop a relationship with the players without a third party complicating the issue.
This is a team sport and we expect players to contribute to the teams NEEDS, not to fulfill their individual WANTS As such, we will not discuss positions with parents, for any reason."
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Post by coachjrob on Aug 18, 2013 16:37:22 GMT -6
First thing I said when I met all the parents is there is only three things we can't talk about 1. Another player not your own 2. My the schemes I run 3. And player positions
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Post by coachjrob on Aug 18, 2013 16:37:37 GMT -6
First thing I said when I met all the parents is there is only three things we can't talk about 1. Another player not your own 2. My the schemes I run 3. And player positions
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Post by coachphillip on Aug 18, 2013 18:44:53 GMT -6
Just tell her she'd make a better OC than a mother. *packs bags* *laughs out the door*
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Post by bobgoodman on Aug 18, 2013 19:02:47 GMT -6
In the club where I've been coaching since 2010, we've never run into parents trying to drive from the back seat. That's because of the demographics of this club, which are different from other clubs around here. Very few of our players' parents are interested in American football; maybe their kids will try teaching them about it. If it were soccer, baseball, or even Gaelic football, then we'd probably have back seat drivers, but as is, those parents who know about this game are mostly the coaches!
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Post by formrbcbuc on Aug 19, 2013 14:58:46 GMT -6
We've been having a ton of parent issues too. Just talk to the players and explain why they are where they are. If parents keep pushing have them meet with the Staff to get an explanation.
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Post by mahonz on Aug 19, 2013 15:05:04 GMT -6
We've been having a ton of parent issues too. Just talk to the players and explain why they are where they are. If parents keep pushing have them meet with the Staff to get an explanation. Do you have an all hands meeting with the parents early in pre season? That pretty much seals the deal for us when it comes to parent issues because they never get started. They also must sign a contract with us.
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Post by coachcb on Aug 19, 2013 15:08:06 GMT -6
Parent Rule Number One- we will never discuss positions. PERIOD.
They can pull their kids from the program if they can't handle it.
I did have a dad come up to me last year asking if his boy could get a shot at QB. "Of course!!" I replied.
His kid was one of the least athletic out there so handing the ball off 40+ times a game was perfect for him.
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Post by formrbcbuc on Aug 20, 2013 9:45:02 GMT -6
We've been having a ton of parent issues too. Just talk to the players and explain why they are where they are. If parents keep pushing have them meet with the Staff to get an explanation. Do you have an all hands meeting with the parents early in pre season? That pretty much seals the deal for us when it comes to parent issues because they never get started. They also must sign a contract with us. We do. We outlined this and had them and their kids sign a contract agreeing to abide by the guidlines set. Apparently we haven't been positive enough. Our entire coaching staff is a loud, but positive group. Parents are telling us we sound angry and negative. They said we were being unfair when we were telling players they were not doing something correctly and told us not to overstep our bounds into parenting when we told players (8th graders mind ou) it was not good to stay up on facebook until 5 am and that they need to be on time to practice and scrimmages.
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Post by coachphillip on Aug 20, 2013 9:51:44 GMT -6
Reading these posts infuriate me. Parents need to be parents.
We have a kid who has a freaking 0.4 GPA. He's not going to be eligible to play. I don't think he's going to graduate high school. What does his dad do? Hire a tutor? No. Stop him from playing? No. Hires him a personal trainer to help his strength and explosiveness because when he comes to practice we just have him do his summer school stuff instead of working out. "How is doing this bookwork going to help his 40?" "How is increasing his 40 going to help him GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL?!"
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Post by mahonz on Aug 20, 2013 9:59:06 GMT -6
Do you have an all hands meeting with the parents early in pre season? That pretty much seals the deal for us when it comes to parent issues because they never get started. They also must sign a contract with us. We do. We outlined this and had them and their kids sign a contract agreeing to abide by the guidlines set. Apparently we haven't been positive enough. Our entire coaching staff is a loud, but positive group. Parents are telling us we sound angry and negative. They said we were being unfair when we were telling players they were not doing something correctly and told us not to overstep our bounds into parenting when we told players (8th graders mind ou) it was not good to stay up on facebook until 5 am and that they need to be on time to practice and scrimmages. WOW....then you can flat out tell them not to overstep their bounds into coaching.
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Post by mahonz on Aug 20, 2013 10:02:41 GMT -6
Reading these posts infuriate me. Parents need to be parents. We have a kid who has a freaking 0.4 GPA. He's not going to be eligible to play. I don't think he's going to graduate high school. What does his dad do? Hire a tutor? No. Stop him from playing? No. Hires him a personal trainer to help his strength and explosiveness because when he comes to practice we just have him do his summer school stuff instead of working out. "How is doing this bookwork going to help his 40?" "How is increasing his 40 going to help him GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL?!" I coached Semi Pros for 8 seasons. Let his Dad know that is his sons future. Teams loaded with kids with talent that graduated with a 0.4 GPA.
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Post by formrbcbuc on Aug 20, 2013 10:03:36 GMT -6
Yeah, almost lost it at our scrimmage with how the parents were telling us to be more positive and more encouraging. We're doing best we can considering some on and off the field stuff our players had gotten into the night before. I was told we were conditioning them too much (we only have 19 kids) during the week, and then heard parents complaining about how worn out and out of shape they looked after our 3rd scrimmage.
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Post by coachgumby on Aug 22, 2013 6:47:43 GMT -6
My girlfriend's son started pee wee's last year and to be honest I somewhat agree with what this woman is saying. I coach HS and keep my mouth shut when watching practice and games, but all the coachs' sons play qb, halfback, fullback, etc. and they don't even try new kids at these positions at the beginning. They don't even ask the kids where they would like to play. If after a few practices they show they can't play these positions then by all means move them to where u feel is best. I'm only speaking about the youth organization in my town obviously. Don't know what it's like elsewhere. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using proboards I agree with this. I see the coaches of a youth team never once ask a kid where they want to play nor even try them in various positions to see who is best. All coaches sons are 1st string QB, FB, HB, TE and 1st string DE, LB, CB's. Yes the QB is good and should be in that position, but the rest are average. Worst of all, the coaches kids get constant praise, where as the other kids only get told what they did wrong, never what they did right. All coaches need to reflect on WHY they are coaching. I suspect most are coaching strictly to get their kids in a certain position and have the mentality of screw the rest.
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Post by pirate1590 on Oct 7, 2013 17:40:51 GMT -6
This is a little late in the game. My oldest son was a WR/DE. Punted and kicked XPs. Didn't hear any chatter about my kid's position. My youngest son is in his first year of tackle and happened to have my temperament and a good arm and a pretty good athlete. He plays 1B/BB and S/C on defense. We play a kid a year older than him at 1B just because he is older and a good athlete, I had to be a little harder on him and play him a little less than I should have. He still plays plenty and enjoys the sport. If in a few years when we are at JPW and we turn to a more pro style offense he will start off as our backup QB and then when he puts his dues in will be the starter. We have one other dad coach who plays PT. For the most part our parents have been great save for one parent.
I backed up the coaches kid when I was 13. My father did not want to get involved in politics and coaching and stayed out of it. The coaches kid promptly fumbled the ball 25 percent of the time..and the other 2 dad coaches had their kids playing FB and RB. The team went 1-7 and in the one win the starter got hurt and I played the second half and won the game(no Al Bundy). Point being I still feel slighted over that 30 years later. Its not a problem and the kids will be fine with it if the kid is somewhat talented and is serviceable. If the coaches kids play QB/RB/WR and the QB is tough, can throw the ball 25-30 yards and is accurate and doesn't fumble, the RB is a hard runner, doesn't fumble, and is somewhat quick and runs north and south, and the receiver can catch and block and run routes it isn't a problem. Its a completely different story when the QB fumbles the snap all the time, cant throw more than 10 yards and is scared of contact. Ive seen that a fair amount on other teams, and talking to the parents after they hate the coaches and the KID himself knows he isn't any good and is only playing because of his father. That will never come up if the kid himself is a descent player. And usually those teams are pretty good. I will say there is definitely a direct correlation to teams with the coaches kids that play QB, often times if the kid is good, the team is good. If the kid who plays QB stinks than the team stinks. It has way more to do with coaching and playing kids in the right positions with as little nepotism as possible and playing everyone. I have seen teams that have more talent than us especially in youth football struggle because their coaches insist on winning at all costs and playing their kid ALL THE TIME and are only coaching their child not the team. Usually those kids don't play at all in HS and the kids learn nothing warming benches. Our parents know our kids play more than most other kids on other teams and its why they aren't a pain in the butt. My kid actually ranks 10 out of 19 boys in terms of playing time this year when he is actually the 5th or 6th most talented kid. So its possible, but you have to make a constant effort to not show nepotism
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Post by Deleted on Oct 7, 2013 18:02:09 GMT -6
This is a little late in the game. My oldest son was a WR/DE. Punted and kicked XPs. Didn't hear any chatter about my kid's position. My youngest son is in his first year of tackle and happened to have my temperament and a good arm and a pretty good athlete. He plays 1B/BB and S/C on defense. We play a kid a year older than him at 1B just because he is older and a good athlete, I had to be a little harder on him and play him a little less than I should have. He still plays plenty and enjoys the sport. If in a few years when we are at JPW and we turn to a more pro style offense he will start off as our backup QB and then when he puts his dues in will be the starter. We have one other dad coach who plays PT. For the most part our parents have been great save for one parent. I backed up the coaches kid when I was 13. My father did not want to get involved in politics and coaching and stayed out of it. The coaches kid promptly fumbled the ball 25 percent of the time..and the other 2 dad coaches had their kids playing FB and RB. The team went 1-7 and in the one win the starter got hurt and I played the second half and won the game(no Al Bundy). Point being I still feel slighted over that 30 years later. Its not a problem and the kids will be fine with it if the kid is somewhat talented and is serviceable. If the coaches kids play QB/RB/WR and the QB is tough, can throw the ball 25-30 yards and is accurate and doesn't fumble, the RB is a hard runner, doesn't fumble, and is somewhat quick and runs north and south, and the receiver can catch and block and run routes it isn't a problem. Its a completely different story when the QB fumbles the snap all the time, cant throw more than 10 yards and is scared of contact. Ive seen that a fair amount on other teams, and talking to the parents after they hate the coaches and the KID himself knows he isn't any good and is only playing because of his father. That will never come up if the kid himself is a descent player. And usually those teams are pretty good. I will say there is definitely a direct correlation to teams with the coaches kids that play QB, often times if the kid is good, the team is good. If the kid who plays QB stinks than the team stinks. It has way more to do with coaching and playing kids in the right positions with as little nepotism as possible and playing everyone. I have seen teams that have more talent than us especially in youth football struggle because their coaches insist on winning at all costs and playing their kid ALL THE TIME and are only coaching their child not the team. Usually those kids don't play at all in HS and the kids learn nothing warming benches. Our parents know our kids play more than most other kids on other teams and its why they aren't a pain in the butt. My kid actually ranks 10 out of 19 boys in terms of playing time this year when he is actually the 5th or 6th most talented kid. So its possible, but you have to make a constant effort to not show nepotism Its a coaching problem when the coaches son is a qb and it is apparent that he shouldn't be.... The fact that kid cant play qb isn't the kids problem...
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Post by coachdoug on Oct 7, 2013 21:01:40 GMT -6
This is a little late in the game. My oldest son was a WR/DE. Punted and kicked XPs. Didn't hear any chatter about my kid's position. My youngest son is in his first year of tackle and happened to have my temperament and a good arm and a pretty good athlete. He plays 1B/BB and S/C on defense. We play a kid a year older than him at 1B just because he is older and a good athlete, I had to be a little harder on him and play him a little less than I should have. He still plays plenty and enjoys the sport. If in a few years when we are at JPW and we turn to a more pro style offense he will start off as our backup QB and then when he puts his dues in will be the starter. We have one other dad coach who plays PT. For the most part our parents have been great save for one parent. I backed up the coaches kid when I was 13. My father did not want to get involved in politics and coaching and stayed out of it. The coaches kid promptly fumbled the ball 25 percent of the time..and the other 2 dad coaches had their kids playing FB and RB. The team went 1-7 and in the one win the starter got hurt and I played the second half and won the game(no Al Bundy). Point being I still feel slighted over that 30 years later. Its not a problem and the kids will be fine with it if the kid is somewhat talented and is serviceable. If the coaches kids play QB/RB/WR and the QB is tough, can throw the ball 25-30 yards and is accurate and doesn't fumble, the RB is a hard runner, doesn't fumble, and is somewhat quick and runs north and south, and the receiver can catch and block and run routes it isn't a problem. Its a completely different story when the QB fumbles the snap all the time, cant throw more than 10 yards and is scared of contact. Ive seen that a fair amount on other teams, and talking to the parents after they hate the coaches and the KID himself knows he isn't any good and is only playing because of his father. That will never come up if the kid himself is a descent player. And usually those teams are pretty good. I will say there is definitely a direct correlation to teams with the coaches kids that play QB, often times if the kid is good, the team is good. If the kid who plays QB stinks than the team stinks. It has way more to do with coaching and playing kids in the right positions with as little nepotism as possible and playing everyone. I have seen teams that have more talent than us especially in youth football struggle because their coaches insist on winning at all costs and playing their kid ALL THE TIME and are only coaching their child not the team. Usually those kids don't play at all in HS and the kids learn nothing warming benches. Our parents know our kids play more than most other kids on other teams and its why they aren't a pain in the butt. My kid actually ranks 10 out of 19 boys in terms of playing time this year when he is actually the 5th or 6th most talented kid. So its possible, but you have to make a constant effort to not show nepotism Pirate: I don't want to call you out, but there are several things in your post that I find very disturbing, so I want to hold up a mirror for anyone that feels as you do so they can take a critical look at their own motivations. First of all, you've planned out years in advance when your son will move from backup to starter. How could you possibly know that? Have you made similar future plans for the playing time of other players on your team? If not, you shouldn't do it with your own son, either. If you do, well, you shouldn't do it with any player. Players should be evaluated on a weekly (if not daily) basis and the players that earn it should play more and the one that don't earn it should play less. Period. (BTW, "earning it" means a lot more than simple athletic or football ability; it includes attendance, work ethic, respectfulness, keeping up with schoolwork, sportsmanship, integrity, perseverance, etc) This is simply something that you cannot plan months, let alone years in advance. Separately, you make several references to playing your own son less than you should or being harder on him than other players. I've got news for you, being harder on your own kid, or treating him differently in any way, IS showing favoritism. If you can't treat him exactly the same way you treat the other kids, then you probably shouldn't coach him at all. If you can't be unbiased in evaluating him (and a lot of parents can't, so there is no shame in that), then make sure another coach makes the decisions about his position group (and make sure that you go out of your way to assure that coach that his decisions will NOT be second-guessed, and then DON'T second-guess them). If that means that your son is the QB for every snap, then so be it, and if it means that your son only gets minimum plays at DT, then that's what you do. Ask yourself, if this was just some kid you don't know, and not your son, what decision would you make (or allow another staff member to make that decision if you know you can't be unbiased), and then that is what you do. Like I said, I don't know you at all, and you may handle the whole coaching your own kid thing exceptionally well, but I've heard similar things to what you said enough times from guys that didn't get it, that it just threw up a bunch of red flags for me. Even if all this doesn't apply to you, I'm quite sure it will apply to some who read it.
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Post by pirate1590 on Oct 8, 2013 17:59:32 GMT -6
No offense taken Doug. Its fine. You are right, I just I feel like having my kid playing QB if he isn't the most talented player by far is a controversy waiting to happen. I want him to play a variety of different positions and than play QB if he is ready and if he wants to. He wants to play QB too. My oldest son didn't want to play QB, that's fine with me. Any position, any activity, anything I just want them to enjoy it. I work with both the backs and the OL. But next year I will ask my assistants to determine backfield positions and then let me see it to be fair. That's good advice.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2013 18:19:28 GMT -6
No offense taken Doug. Its fine. You are right, I just I feel like having my kid playing QB if he isn't the most talented player by far is a controversy waiting to happen. I want him to play a variety of different positions and than play QB if he is ready and if he wants to. He wants to play QB too. My oldest son didn't want to play QB, that's fine with me. Any position, any activity, anything I just want them to enjoy it. I work with both the backs and the OL. But next year I will ask my assistants to determine backfield positions and then let me see it to be fair. That's good advice. you are operating from weakness...you are the HC....they serve at your discression. If you are looking to win a popularity contest, you have the wrong hobby.
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Post by spartan on Oct 10, 2013 22:38:14 GMT -6
First off Cut her, and secondly never ever take emails. ITs given cowards a voice. They got a problem have them come sit across from your desk.
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