Can't be coached.

Alright lets hear it, how does this kid refuse to be coached? Does he blatantly disregard your instructions and mouth off in insubordination? Or is he just some sort of space cadet who has never been asked to do anything in his life so he is off in la-la land?

if a player doesn't follow instruction (the game plan / responsibility) how is he getting any playing time?

I've seen guys that who are both mentally and physically limited and (it seems) no matter how many drills you do with them and explain their assignment, they just never build up enough of a competency to warrant EVER seeing the field. Those guys you have to help them orient themselves to a different supporting roles (usually kids out to just be a part of something).

Like many have brought up, do you know if the player has a cognitive/ processing disability? When dealing with athletes with these sorts of disabilities, you need to really focus on the small victories such as getting them in proper alignment, proper first steps, hitting hard, etc. It can be very frustrating but also rewarding in the end for both sides.
Another scenario is that they have an emotional and/ or behavioral disorder (i.e. biploar, schizophrenic, etc.). This can be a very tricky situation as they can be having a good to okay day or a very, very bad day. This is where your ability to create relationships with these athletes is tested; if you have a strong, positive relationship with the athlete things can be workable. Unfortunately, due to to the nature of their disorders they can blow up over what we would consider to be trivial matters and the blowups can turn either really ugly or they can completely shutdown and refuse to be coached.
The last generalized group is the kid that refuses to play / be coached and does so without any developmental or psychological issues. Some kids shut down because they feel that they have been improperly positioned, do not have the physical tools to feel successful at their position, or have come out (or have been forced to come out) and don't like the game. Oftentimes they will shut down as a defense mechanism for their self - esteem (IMO). If they are struggling but are not a distraction or insubordinate, you need to talk to them and see if it is a skill set issue or a motivation issue. If they are a distraction and insubordinate, discuss how to handle the situation with your fellow coaches and come up with a staff backed decision.

Maybe don't punish him, maybe just talk and work with him. I'm not saying kiss the kid's rear end but sometimes punishing someone to do what you want isn't the answer.

Who knows, maybe your relationship with this kid is too far gone, but the proof is in the pudding, and if the kid is making mistakes on the field he'll know it (even if he acts as if its not him).

Tried it. Was working for a short bit but went back to being his old self. Trust me I have tried everything short of kissing his butt or paying him off. In my opinion this kid is to far gone. He is a senior so I don't have the time to work with him on the attitude thing I'm just asking if anybody just stopped coaching a kid like this! Nobody has answered that yet! Give me an opinion or an example but I'm just to that point with this kid where I'm tired of trying. Would like to focus on the rest of the team who are good kids who at least try.

At this point, you keep coaching. No, he's not going to get it and yes, it's going to really bother you---but you have no choice. It's your job. It's a bad situation where the HC is going to let him get away with it and still play him. You're just caught in the middle. You've got to coach him, and it is also your duty to let the HC know the problems you are having with him---every time you have a problem with him until either the HC tells you he doesn't want to hear it anymore or until he listens to you and does something about it. But if he's going to play, you have to do your best to get him ready to play.

Last year i was DC at a mid size 4A school. Had one player who was a very gifted athlete. Played RB and LB. at running back he was a playmaker and at LB he had a nose for the ball and made big hits. But he had a tendency to do his own thing and freelance. He didn't start on either side of the ball because of this. he was a sub, and when he came in he made plays, but several times he would cost us by doing his own thing and not playing his assignment on defense.

Midway thru the season, I told the HC that i didn't want him anymore and he could be offense only. Eventually the other players caught on that his behavior was hurting the team and they didn't want him out there either, regardless of his big play potential.

But i just kept coaching the kids that wanted to be coached

I'm not arguing for the sake of arguing but how exactly is that our job. Our job to me is to make athletes the best we can and turn out some fine young men into society. This kid is not going to be either. I want to cut him loose

I don't think of it as arguing for arguments sake, and if you think cutting him is best I would do so. But it sounds as if the HC wants him; and if that is so cutting him is not an option.

Its your job in several ways- not every kid is going to be receptive or a great athlete (obviously this kid is at the far end of the spectrum) but still he is part of the team and you have to coach all kids the same you have to teach all students (and yes I know football isn't compulsory but as long as he is on the team that argument is moot).
It is also your job to support and assist the head coach. That doesn't mean personally agreeing with everything he does, but once the decision is made to keep the kid then it is your job to coach the kid. Now if you want to come to him before and after each practice and tell him that you think the kid needs to be cut then by all means. But for the three hours a day you have the kid you need to coach him.

I agree. Students/players/etc - we can only take them where they want to go.
I'll be dammed if I drag a dead horse around churchhill downs.

I use this analogy all the time:
If you know how to swim but you are drowning in a pool simply because you refuse to swim, then I am perfectly happy to stand on the side of pool and watch you drown.

I don't see how it's any different than a kid in class who won't do anything. Chit son, don't do it, I don't care, it's your life, I've already graduated. Just don't phuk up my change at McDonalds or I'm going to be an ahole about it.[/quote]

Haha! Classic!

The point is you aren't the HC. The HC says he's going to play. Therefore, your job IS to coach him. Now, I'd never have the guy playing if I was the HC, but I can also tell you this--if as the HC I told you he was going to play and to coach him up and you didn't, then you wouldn't have to worry any longer about what your job was, because you wouldn't have one.

Pride the hc doesn't like him either. I ask him why he keeps the kid around and I get an "I don't know" and it's pretty much over.and 5085. Unfortunately in my state I'm contracted by the school to teach and coach so I really can't quit and the hc can't fire me. Plus I would like to be hired by another school next season and I don't see me getting to many references if I did that

And that is why this program will never be turned around

I've found that typically addressing issues with down ups is a great way to go about things. And I'm sure this kid does things that deserves down ups. Attitude is a good reason. Tell them once what you expect from them, and if they don't do it, then up down them. It's great because it gets rid of all their energy. Don't let them do poor down ups either. Poor down ups are reasons for more down ups.

Also, punishment needs to fit the crime. The kids don't need to do 100 down ups. It's just 5-10 good ones.

I don't even yell anymore. Why waste my energy?