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Post by olcoach53 on Apr 10, 2012 9:27:46 GMT -6
Let me ask you guys something. I recently had an interview with our new head coach at school and he told me that he had some concerns with my being too negative. This caught me completely off guard because I feel that I am never negative and always try to put a positive spin on everything.
Should I just go about doing things the way I have or make an effort to be over positive?
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Post by jgordon1 on Apr 10, 2012 9:38:21 GMT -6
I think you need to listen to the words you say, the TONE and body language of your comments..If the HC said this to you, others probably have approached him w/ their concern
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Post by coachcb on Apr 10, 2012 9:45:44 GMT -6
Let me ask you guys something. I recently had an interview with our new head coach at school and he told me that he had some concerns with my being too negative. This caught me completely off guard because I feel that I am never negative and always try to put a positive spin on everything. Should I just go about doing things the way I have or make an effort to be over positive? We all have to remember that we're dealing with people's opinions and those are subjective. Anyone that has coached with me describes me as positive, upbeat, and loud. I worked with a guy who took the "loud" part of my coaching style as "negative". Oh, and he didn't like it when I made the OL do up-downs for false starts.. And, he didn't just voice it as a concern; the yutz b-tched to everyone BUT me. Including his parents (teachers in the district) who also also b-tched to everyone that would listen. I don't take much stock in peoples' opinions of my coaching style or ability because they tend to be stupid and opinionated. |
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Post by olcoach53 on Apr 10, 2012 9:45:49 GMT -6
That is the thing though, I always watch what I say or how I act, especially in front of the kids.
Coachcb, I understand what you are saying. Our new coach also did point out that of all the other coaches from last year, he wanted me to stay on the most, so that was nice for the old ego.
It was more of him letting me know that he had been approached about it, but it still caught me off guard.
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Post by Underdeveloped on Apr 10, 2012 9:47:59 GMT -6
More background is needed to truly make sense of the concern. Does he take pride in # of kids on the team? Does he have a child or family member or a school board member playing under your position assignment? There has to be more to this (always a skeptic) Good Luck
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Post by pvogel on Apr 10, 2012 10:02:07 GMT -6
I'd suggest looking at yourself more and looking into what your boss is saying... there might be some merit to it or he wouldnt be saying it.
If you want to try filming yourself coaching and see what you think
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Post by veerman on Apr 10, 2012 10:28:26 GMT -6
I think that some negativity is good, BUT you need to use twice as many positive comments to negative. IMO you can't always tell kids good job, sometimes they need that kick in the rear to get them going....In your situation it's coming from your boss, you can either try to get better at what he is looking for, or be prepared to leave. That's just the business, just because some principals thinks a teacher is some way does not make it true, but they are the ones that determine if they stay or go.
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Post by coachcb on Apr 10, 2012 10:35:55 GMT -6
I think you need to listen to the words you say, the TONE and body language of your comments..If the HC said this to you, others probably have approached him w/ their concern This is part of my issue as well. If a fellow assistant has an issue with me then he needs to address it with me before whining to the powers that be. |
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Post by fantom on Apr 10, 2012 11:18:35 GMT -6
Let me ask you guys something. I recently had an interview with our new head coach at school and he told me that he had some concerns with my being too negative. This caught me completely off guard because I feel that I am never negative and always try to put a positive spin on everything. Should I just go about doing things the way I have or make an effort to be over positive? Did you ask him what he meant? If not, why not? You can't change unless you know what he wants out of you and maybe there really isn't any reason to change. Find out what his concern is. |
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Post by jgordon1 on Apr 10, 2012 11:19:13 GMT -6
Let me ask you guys something. I recently had an interview with our new head coach at school and he told me that he had some concerns with my being too negative. This caught me completely off guard because I feel that I am never negative and always try to put a positive spin on everything. Should I just go about doing things the way I have or make an effort to be over positive? We all have to remember that we're dealing with people's opinions and those are subjective. Anyone that has coached with me describes me as positive, upbeat, and loud. I worked with a guy who took the "loud" part of my coaching style as "negative". Oh, and he didn't like it when I made the OL do up-downs for false starts.. And, he didn't just voice it as a concern; the yutz b-tched to everyone BUT me. Including his parents (teachers in the district) who also also b-tched to everyone that would listen. I don't take much stock in peoples' opinions of my coaching style or ability because they tend to be stupid and opinionated. Yup, happened to me, I have a "loud" voice which I don't hesitate to use..one of my assistants said something to me about the way I call up special teams "Punt team get ready"..he said coach, i know you are not being negative but it sounds like you are..he said" I'll tell you what, let me handle it it and take that off your plate" I did and he did..worked out well, and I found that I was stressing about it..I was just glad he had the gonads to tell me |
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Post by fantom on Apr 10, 2012 11:29:17 GMT -6
Let me ask you guys something. I recently had an interview with our new head coach at school and he told me that he had some concerns with my being too negative. This caught me completely off guard because I feel that I am never negative and always try to put a positive spin on everything. Should I just go about doing things the way I have or make an effort to be over positive? We all have to remember that we're dealing with people's opinions and those are subjective. Anyone that has coached with me describes me as positive, upbeat, and loud. I worked with a guy who took the "loud" part of my coaching style as "negative". Oh, and he didn't like it when I made the OL do up-downs for false starts.. And, he didn't just voice it as a concern; the yutz b-tched to everyone BUT me. Including his parents (teachers in the district) who also also b-tched to everyone that would listen. I don't take much stock in peoples' opinions of my coaching style or ability because they tend to be stupid and opinionated. How about if he's your boss? |
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Post by olcoach53 on Apr 10, 2012 11:31:44 GMT -6
Fantom, I did ask him about it, he said it was just brought to his attention by a parent and he wanted to address it with me.
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Post by fantom on Apr 10, 2012 11:35:40 GMT -6
Fantom, I did ask him about it, he said it was just brought to his attention by a parent and he wanted to address it with me. Doesn't sound like he's too worried about it so no reason to worry or change anything. |
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Post by olcoach53 on Apr 10, 2012 11:37:39 GMT -6
Well it still concerns me though. I know in this sport we can not make everybody happy but I still want the respect of my players and their parents.
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Post by coachcb on Apr 10, 2012 11:41:42 GMT -6
We all have to remember that we're dealing with people's opinions and those are subjective. Anyone that has coached with me describes me as positive, upbeat, and loud. I worked with a guy who took the "loud" part of my coaching style as "negative". Oh, and he didn't like it when I made the OL do up-downs for false starts.. And, he didn't just voice it as a concern; the yutz b-tched to everyone BUT me. Including his parents (teachers in the district) who also also b-tched to everyone that would listen. I don't take much stock in peoples' opinions of my coaching style or ability because they tend to be stupid and opinionated. How about if he's your boss? Well, if he's not much of a boss if he's complaining about an assistant to his parents. |
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Post by Coach Bennett on Apr 10, 2012 11:45:41 GMT -6
Fantom, I did ask him about it, he said it was just brought to his attention by a parent and he wanted to address it with me. Asking about it and getting a specific example are two different animals. Can you get him to share a specific instance? Otherwise, you're going to go nuts trying to figure out what he and apparently everyone else but you are talking about. |
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Post by fantom on Apr 10, 2012 11:48:02 GMT -6
Well it still concerns me though. I know in this sport we can not make everybody happy but I still want the respect of my players and their parents. Want everybody to love you? Here's how- drop dead right there on the field. There'll be feature stories on TV and in the paper, women will cry (even the second team QB's mom), and the team will wear your initials on their helmet. Maybe they'll even name the stadium after you. You'll be a freakin saint in the town. If you prefer not to do that (and it's not the road I'd take, personally) you just have to deal with the fact that some people aren't going to like the way you do business. Potayto, potahto. |
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Post by ajreaper on Apr 10, 2012 11:55:26 GMT -6
Fantom, I did ask him about it, he said it was just brought to his attention by a parent and he wanted to address it with me. Brought to his attention by A, A as in one parent? Completely silly to even mention it on his part. Now if a half dozen parents at seperate times mentioned it then ok lets have a conversation but one? Some parents will consider being realistic and honest with a player as being negative because it's not what they wanted to hear and if that's the case then we all are negative. |
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Post by olcoach53 on Apr 10, 2012 11:59:33 GMT -6
Well it still concerns me though. I know in this sport we can not make everybody happy but I still want the respect of my players and their parents. Want everybody to love you? Here's how- drop dead right there on the field. There'll be feature stories on TV and in the paper, women will cry (even the second team QB's mom), and the team will wear your initials on their helmet. Maybe they'll even name the stadium after you. You'll be a freakin saint in the town. If you prefer not to do that (and it's not the road I'd take, personally) you just have to deal with the fact that some people aren't going to like the way you do business. Potayto, potahto. Hahaha, no thanks, I'll stick to breathing. Thanks though |
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Post by hback41 on Apr 10, 2012 13:44:40 GMT -6
I had a situation a few years ago. I can be intense but rarely yell and don't cuss. Our JV team played a team that the varsity blows out every year. We were down 20-6 at half time. We had not given up 2 touchdowns in a game all season. Gave a challenging speech at half. We lost the game 25-26. We went for 2 at the end of the game and dropped the pass.
After the game, I told the kids that there were only 2 more JV games left. They had to get ready to be varsity players. They were on JV because there are better guys on the varsity. Their goal should not be to be great JV players but varsity players. Somewhere in there was a comment about Juniors who were still playing JV, which is what I assume got me in trouble. A parent called the HC and told him that I told the kids that they were horrible losers who would never be varsity players. In my case, the HC knows me well and knows that is not who I am. You have a new head coach whom I assume does not know you. Learn what you can from the situation. Be you. keep in communication with the HC about it. If you communicate with your coach about your overall coaching, then there will be an open door to find out how he feels once he sees you in action.
By the way, we played very well the last two JV games and shut out both team. Some kids were hurt by what I said while other kids took on the challenge. We also ended up with 3-4 injuries on varsity late in the season and some of those same kids ended up playing for us during the playoffs. In the game playoff game where we were eliminated, we started 7 sophomores on D. Again, some will be offended by being challenged, called out and/or held accountable. Keep in communication with your HC throughout the season about what he sees.
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Post by coachcb on Apr 10, 2012 13:52:40 GMT -6
Well it still concerns me though. I know in this sport we can not make everybody happy but I still want the respect of my players and their parents. You generally have the parent's respect if you have the player's. This is another thing that bugs me. If the HC said "coach, a lot of the players feel that you're a little bit negative", then I will take a hard look at the way I do things. The kids felt strongly enough to mention it to the HC so I need to address. BUT, I'm just going to smile and nod if he tells me that it's the parents that are griping or even if another assistant has said so. Or, I am going to ask for specific examples because there's no much I can change if a parent says "Coachcb is mean". |
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Post by blb on Apr 10, 2012 14:01:18 GMT -6
Could be wrong but my impression is the new header brought it up with you so if asked about it he can truthfully say, "I addressed it with coach53."
Unless it comes up again I wouldn't obsess about it.
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Post by carookie on Apr 10, 2012 16:23:04 GMT -6
Find out what is meant, what type of negative:
Negative coaching points: Too often telling kids what not to do, not telling kids what to to do. Too many don'ts get the kids focusing on the don'ts and not the do's
Negative feedback: Only pointing out mistakes, not celebrating successes. Constantly telling kids what they are doing wrong will lead to kids who play tentative, scared and slow.
Negative attitude: Always yelling, and screaming in a negative tone. The belief that acting like a hardas$ is whats gonna make you lombardi eill cause kids to tune you out and maybe even mutiny.
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Post by jgordon1 on Apr 10, 2012 17:35:41 GMT -6
didn't know it was a single parent....wouldn't worry about it....a sure way to please no one is to please everyone..BillCosby I believe said that
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Post by davishfc on Apr 10, 2012 19:00:17 GMT -6
We have a responsibility as coaches to be critics of our players.
I just wonder if we have the classic confusion of critical vs. negative.
critical - characterized by careful, exact evaluation and judgment
i.e. "Joe, let's work to get closer to 6 inches on that scoop step so you overtake the playside number of your base assignment."
Regardless of the volume, in my opinion, this is a critical statement with specific information meant to help the player improve and, ultimately, succeed.
negative - lacking positive or constructive features
"Joe, that was horrible. We need to get that fixed so you're getting your assignment."
Regardless of the volume, in my opinion, this is a negative statement that lacks specific information and will only serve to discourage the player.
Sometimes, yes, volume can sound negative. However, if the volume serves to convey a coach's passion for the game and a sense of urgency toward getting issues corrected for the success of the player individually and the team collectively, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I truly believe players feed off of it.
Now if we're talking about yelling, there's a difference. If the volume is critical then that's great. But if the volume is negative, then it's just yelling i.e. "somebody block somebody!"
As for what the header communicated to you, don't sweat it. It's just one parent. Now if he comes to you with concerns from several parents then maybe they have beef. Take a long hard look in the mirror and get it fixed. JMHO.
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Post by coachcb on Apr 11, 2012 7:15:25 GMT -6
I didn't hire a guy from the previous staff because I thought he was too negative. It was really just his way, he really didn't mean anything by it and the kids knew that but it was probably my 2nd or 3rd time being around him that I thought "Jesus dude, do you say anything that's not sarcastic?" D-ck.  |
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Post by olcoach53 on Apr 11, 2012 7:56:31 GMT -6
Thanks guys. This has helped out a lot. I appreciate it.
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Post by jgordon1 on Apr 11, 2012 8:50:36 GMT -6
Davis, IMO hits the nail right on the head..One of the things we tell our kids during film, is that we are being critical of or technique, effort etc, ..we are not being cricital of you as a human being..Heck, they are all good kids for the most aprt
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Post by larrymoe on Apr 11, 2012 22:08:19 GMT -6
It's one guy's opinion. I wouldn't sweat it too much.
The principal at my old school told me one of the reasons I didn't get the HC job there was because I was "too negative". I was never negative. I was truthful. If a kid was a lazy ass I told him. He interpreted that as "negative".
I moved on. I won more games this year at my new school than the school I left has won in the last three years since I didn't get the job combined.
Funny thing is, the admins, kids, parents, etc always tell everyone that will listen how positive I am at my new school.
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Post by spos21ram on Apr 12, 2012 7:20:27 GMT -6
If he can't give specific examples then the complaint is worthless. Our AD has a simple rule. He doesn't act on any parent complaint unless the parent agrees to meet with the AD and the coach they are complaining about. If they do not wish to attend this meeting the complaint is worthless to him.
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